5th birthday- do we have to invite whole class?

[MinisterforCheekyFuckery]

I've just found out that a lovely pub/restaurant in our local town centre does kids pizza making parties. My soon to be 5 year old DD's favourite food is pizza and she loves cooking at home so would be right up her street and I LOVE the idea of a party where someone else does the clear up after and we wouldn't have to worry about food or entertainment.

The only thing is we would be limited to a maximum of 10 kids, including DD.
Ideally, I'd like her to choose 6/7 friends to keep costs down but the "done thing" round here very much seems to be whole class parties. The ones DD has been to have generally been in a big hall with a bouncy castle and/or children's entertainer or the parents have hired out a soft play place and had the whole class. This would be a real stretch for us financially as we're saving for Maternity leave. It also seems like a lot of stress I could do without when we're due to have baby no 2 just a few weeks before DD's birthday!

Would it be really mean of us to do the pizza party, even if it means that we won't be reciprocating for every child who has invited her to their party this year?

I have never done a whole class party and don't know why you would. I have twins, they invite a selection of friends each, some of them aren't even school friends, they are family friends.

No, absolutely fine. Are her friendship grouped settked though? DD was very fickle at that age.

No I never did a whole class party. Ds1 went to about five in reception, ds2 has had half a dozen so far. Neither one has had 30 parties to attend over the year so I would say it's only a significant minority who do them.

Do the pizza thing, invite 7 other children. That's a comfortable number.

Interestingly, DD hasn't been to any whole class parties, and many families would be able to afford them. She had 8 at her party (our living room definitely wouldn't fit 30!) and as been invited to about that number across the year. Inviting 25/30 would seem mean, but 6-7 is fine!

It’s fine to do a smaller number. Other parents may well be feeling the pressure too and want a smaller party . My son’s biggest party was 22 with friends across 3 classes , classes did lots of floating to the other. And a few out of school.

Of course you don't have to have a whole class party. Stick to your budget and what you feel you can manage.

I don't follow this inviting back thing, I can't possibly remember every single party invite DS has ever got, especially if we've had to turn some down. The reciprocation for the party invite is the birthday present, IMO - and the benefit to the birthday child is the company of the invitee, not the possibility of an invite some time in the future.

If any parent moans about it (which would be stupendously rude) then just call up the fact you have a newborn. Nobody can argue with that! Who would want to deal with 30 kids running around when you've just had a baby?

It was the 'norm' to do while class parties I reception. Certainly not everyone did them though. For us it was a good way to get to know other parents as were not at pick up : drop off.

Y1 they started to drop off to smaller parties.

Thank you all. I'm very relieved at your responses. If it wasn't for the impending new arrival and house renovations eating up so much money then I'd be happy to do the typical thing of a whole class party in Reception and then switch to smaller gatherings when she gets into Y1 but I just can't face it! Most importantly, DD really loves the pizza party idea so that's what we'll do. She's not particularly fickle when it comes to friendships so not worried about that. She has had the same 'best friend' since Nursery and tends to mention the same names when I ask who she's played with.

Also it is worth mentioning it is very near the end of the year, although friendships change over the years. It is much clearer than someone who has a birthday in October.