no shows at birthday party

[raeegtn]

DD had her 7th birthday party yesterday, we were expecting 7 guests but only 4 came.
I knew 1 child’s mum’s phone number so I texted her if her child is really coming after 20 minutes into the party, then she replied “I’m sorry I totally forgot!”
Then for other 2 children, I didn’t have their contact numbers as it wasn’t their mothers who RSVPd me. These girls came to DD at school and told her that their mums said that they could come to the party. I wanted to confirm with their mums, but as these girls go to after school clubs I haven’t had a chance to talk with their mums. So a couple days before the party, I asked DD to remind those girls of her party and she did so and the girls said “ok!” They’re 7 year olds, so I believed I could trust their words.
The party went well with 4 guests anyway, DS luckily could join the activity. But I wonder why these girls didn’t come.
I personalised the party favours, and all the children were saying “why aren’t they coming yet?” and most importantly DD was so looking forward to seeing them at her party.
Also there were other children DD wanted to invite but had to give up as the maximum number was 8 for the party. I could have invited them.
I have to say I feel a bit sad - 3 out of 7 didn’t come although they said they would. Is this a common thing to happen?

Sorry about my English, it's not my first language.

I've never had a no show in years of kids parties other than illness when I've been notified beforehand. It's really rude and it's disappointing for your dd. I wouldn't invite those children again tbh.

Did the invitations specify RSVP and did you provide your email address or phone number?

My DD is only six, but for her last party, one of her friends told her that she could come, and I asked DD to ask her friend to ask her mum/dad to text me to confirm. There's no way I'd have accepted verbal acceptances from 7-year-olds.

We have this every year, adults saying children will come then not bothering. People are rude

Yes, I put RSVP date and mobile phone number. In my country we don't throw a big birthday party for children. I've been trying to fit in this culture, but today I feel I'm a big failure.
Lesson learned - never trust kids' verbal acceptances. I don't invite these ones again anyway.
DD had a birthday party when she was in foundation too, at that time not many children were going to after school clubs so it was easy to chase up their mums. 12 out of 13 came to the party, so I assumed it would be fine this time too...

Littleraincloud - so it's not only me! I started to think that these children's mums didn't reply me because DD is mixed race or I'm a foreigner.

Don't feel a failure, pls! You did a nice thing - organising a party, inviting people, making sure your DD had a lovely time - it's not your fault that people are rude and disorganised. And don't be put off throwing more parties!

DS had his party on Saturday and we had 2 no shows. I wish they had let me know. They'd both RSVPd yes and both have my number but just didn't show. One mum even posted on FB about enjoying a drink in the garden. DS didn't seem to mind and I was only charged for the number of attendees but I was disappointed for him.

Please don’t feel a failure! As other people have said, children sometimes don’t show up even when their parents have accepted the invitation. Sadly some people don’t keep commitments if a ‘better offer’ comes along or they just can’t be bothered on the day. I would say don’t dismiss these children in the future, because it might not have been their fault – they are only young and they can’t be expected to keep their parents’ diaries.

Also, some parents will just never respond. It is very rude but it seems to be quite common. It’s all very frustrating!

Nothing about being foreign or mixed race - some people are just inconsiderate at best, and downright rude at worst.

It happens a lot round here.

You can't rely on the childs word that they are accepting the invitation and I would have told my child to tell their friend to get their mum/ dad to reply instead

It was a pricey lesson to learn that I can't rely on child's verbal acceptance - £20 per head!

ThisIsHowYouDoIt - your words made me cry. Thank you.

Children are great at organising things and telling each other, but not telling their parents!! I'm sure it's nothing to you with you, your daughter or being foreign.

When we all do parties round here we had up like mad and put invites in for the teachers to distribute. If I don't get a reply I ask the parent directly. Parties are expensive! I'm glad your Dd had a nice time but it is upsetting for you

We had two no shows out of 6 this year too. Both of whom had confirmed during the week preceding that they were coming... including one in person the day before! Very disappointed daughter.

Never ever trust a 7 year olds verbal acceptance.