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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

when one dc is invited to a party, do you take siblings?

27 replies

mamalocco · 11/12/2006 12:12

DS has been invited to a party after school - big party, lots of kids, most parents will stay - he's only 4 and feel I should stay also, but no-one to look after dd1 and dd2, so will have to take them. But we will be there at dinner time and feel abit awkard about plonking them down at the table and saying 'tuck in girls'!!
Do you normally take siblings along? I always invite them and make extra food/party bags etc, but what's usual?

OP posts:
LieselVonGiftwrapp · 11/12/2006 12:16

I wouldnt assume, although if they came to one of my partys then the more the merrier but I would just explain your circumstances to the mother. Im sure she'd be fine.

ParanoidSurreyHousewife · 11/12/2006 12:16

Are the dds older or younger. If younger then take some snacks for them, but no I wouldn't expect them to be catered for. If older, then I would try to arrnage some alternative playdates, or get another mum to keep an eye on ds. If say half the guests turned up with 2 siblings apiece it would be chaos!

WonderCod · 11/12/2006 12:18

no dont take them
PITA

hotmulledwinemama · 11/12/2006 12:18

I wouldn't just take them along without asking first. There may be restrictions on numbers etc and a specific number may have been catered for etc.

Ask the host/(ess) for permission first - even as a matter of courtesy!

WonderCod · 11/12/2006 12:18

leave him and leave your mobil enumber

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 11/12/2006 12:20

no dont take them. well not without asking first.

sandyballs · 11/12/2006 12:22

No, don't take them, very rude IMO. A mum at my DD's school always take her other two uninvited DDs to parties and they eat the food and expect a party bag

Original poster
mamalocco · 11/12/2006 12:51

The party is in a hall with a magician - rather than a price per head thing and it's a joint party for three children - each of them have at least two siblings and have all been to all my kids parties (admittedly invited). At our school, most do bring siblings although the majority of parties are at soft play places which are open to general public so not quite the same. Have decided to leave him, ask another mum to keep an eye on him (again!! ) and take the other two out for dinner somewhere nearby. Will probably go back abit earlier.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamalocco · 11/12/2006 12:54

Meant to ask one of the hosts mums if it was okay to take them, but didn't see her this morning and have mislaid party invite with number. Have left message with another parent for phone number so may be resolved yet!!

OP posts:
StrawberrySnowflakes · 11/12/2006 12:54

just ring the mum, explain what you have just suggested you do ' as you didnt want to turn up with your other two uninvited' and see what she says, just say your letting her know as courtesy so you dont wonder where you have gne when your LO is there?!

SNOWBall4girlz · 11/12/2006 12:54

ask first and offer to pay the 5.99 or so extra as most people have a tight budget I have to take the other dc and have paid the extra twice, twice they were already included and another time the parents had paid for the whole place so was no extra charge and a couple had not turned up and they were happy to include dds

SNOWBall4girlz · 11/12/2006 12:58

soundslike fun and if you manage to get in touch will probably include them the worst bit is the party bags imo making sure there are enough at the end of the party
my nightmare last year as that loads of the mums and dads stayed and as it was in a church hall had not catered for them not tea or coffee or such will do better this year lol

Nemoinapeartree · 11/12/2006 13:00

Depens on how well you know the mum etc. I wouldnt take my other children if just DS was invited and nothing was mentioned about the others. If really stuck would let parent know I cant bring xxx due to not having childcare and see what is said.

paulaplumpbottom · 11/12/2006 13:13

I'm sure she would say it was ok if you asked her. If she has other little ones to she is bound to have been in your predicement and understand.

ParanoidSurreyHousewife · 11/12/2006 13:18

But many families have more than one child - a host may allow for one or two non-replies, but surely not for all siblings? Ds's party would more than double in size if random siblings turned up.

Still rude imo I'm afraid - by asking you are expecting her to say "oh it is all right bring them along". But I guess it depends on how well you know the hosts.

Original poster
mamalocco · 11/12/2006 13:37

I do know the hosts reasonably well and I don't think they would mind in the least, it's just I would feel uncomfortable - hence this thread. I remember the first party I threw for my dd1 - loads non-responses turned up, lots of siblings, lots of parents, kids asking for party bags for siblings (including those who hadn't come to the party ) and feeling abit miffed/overwhelmed by the whole thing. Guess I expect alot more (or less?) now.

Bet there will be sizeable number of siblings who do stay - will let you know tomorrow!!

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 11/12/2006 14:46

I alway feel so bad for people in your situation. Siblings always get an invite to my DD's parties. This would make things so much easier on people.

ParanoidSurreyHousewife · 11/12/2006 16:27

Thinking about it all the parties at ds's school are at the weekend, so typically there is someone else around. Presumably this is more of a factor with after-school events?

paulaplumpbottom · 11/12/2006 17:32

It seems to me that after school wasn't the brightest time to have a party.

julienetmum · 11/12/2006 21:13

In that situation I would explain to the mother that my child would love to go to the party but I have no-one to look after my older child. I would ask if it was OK to take my other child and offer to take food for them and make it clear that I would not expect a party bag etc. I would say that I totally understood if that was not possible due to space/other restrictions and if that was the case the invited child would unfortunately on this occasion have to miss the party.

handlemecarefully · 11/12/2006 21:19

I gave my apologies for a party recently on behalf of my 4 year old dd because I had nobody to look after 2 year old ds (dh was away visiting his sick father). I sort of thought the host might say bring ds along too, but she didn't. I wasn't bothered - it's her prerogative...but interesting nonetheless

wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons · 11/12/2006 21:32

It was DD's nursery party on Saturday. The letter specifically stated that siblings could not be catered for. I went to special measures to get my Mum and Dad to have DS (they live 1.5 hours away) and then went to the party and who should be there but one of DS's Y1 classmates who has a sister at nursery.

paulaplumpbottom · 11/12/2006 22:33

Not everyone has relatives to rely on

Original poster
mamalocco · 12/12/2006 16:15

Well we got to the party and before I had time to open my mouth the host insisted that dd1 stay and join in!! They had catered for about 60 kids but there were only about 40 of which I think 10-12 were siblings. In this particular case each of the three birthday girls have an older sibling in dd1 class and have all been to her parties as well as ds's. So tried not to feel too bad!

We seem to have quite a few after school parties, but as I said, they are usually at soft play type places which are open to the general public so not a problem to take siblings (who obviously don't go into the party room).

Will make sure all my invites state 'siblings welcome' to avoid such worries for others.

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 12/12/2006 18:02

I'm glad it turned out ok