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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

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Original poster

How likely is it that all the parents will stay for DD's 4th birthday party?

30 replies

Aderyn · 06/11/2006 12:45

DD1 is 4 in a few weeks time and I am having a small party at home. We're inviting 4 of her existing friends who we have known from their parents being in our antenatal class. We've since moved house so we're a drive away and their mums will be staying.

I was going to invite 3 new friends from Pre-school. With DD that will make 8 children and Potentially 9 parents (including me and DH)in our small semi.

Now it seems that DD is in a group of 5 friends at Pre-school. I really ought to invite all 4 girls but I am worried all the parents will stay and that we'll have 9 children (which will be a tight squeeze around the table) and 10 adults to accommodate, as well as leaving space for party games.

What's typical in these situations?

OP posts:

hulababy · 06/11/2006 12:46

At preschool age I would expect most parents to stay. Took DD to a 5th birthday party this weekend and a lot of parents stayed.

On the invites you could put a note to say that there will be ample adult supervision should the parents wish to leave their child. Might encourage some to leave.

Original poster

Aderyn · 06/11/2006 12:53

Do parents mind or expect to be a bit squashed in if they all stay? Or should you only have a party for the amount of accompanied children you have the space to accommodate?

OP posts:

katzg · 06/11/2006 12:54

For DD's 4th party, we invited 12 children and about 5 parents stayed. but we put on invites that there would be lots of adults present and asked for a contact number.

foxtrot · 06/11/2006 13:07

IME at pre-school parent tends to stay (i do), it is a pain, but on the other hand you can get on with the party and let the parents take care of toilet visits etc. I put out drinks & nibbles for the adults in the kitchen and tell them to help themselves, it keeps them out of the way a bit too.

Original poster

Aderyn · 06/11/2006 13:23

Our dining table is in part of the kitchen (an extended part) Would it be easier to encourage the adults into that room whilst party games are going on and then encourage them to go in the other room when the children go into the kitchen to eat?

So long as I have everything ready in the fridge.on the it ought not to matter if the parents are in the kitchen before I set the table up for tea.

OP posts:

Overrun · 06/11/2006 13:31

I took my three to a fourth birthday party a couple of weeks ago, I'm friends with the mother of the boy whose party it was. She told me afterwards that she was really suprised when his Mother dropped him off at the door (all other parents stayed). The Mother also mentioned that he had been sick the night before so told my friend to call her if there was a problem, and promptly left.
Predictably, he was sick all over himself at the party tea

Overrun · 06/11/2006 13:32

sorry that didn't make sense. My friend was surprised when a boy was dropped off by his mother (boy was also four).

happybiggirl · 06/11/2006 13:44

Message withdrawn

Skribble · 06/11/2006 13:51

I asked for a contact number and any alergies on invites for DD's 5th. No parents stayed out of 28 .

I had the same with a boy at DD's 6th, mum said casualy as she left oh he wasn't feeling to great heres my number, he wasn't happy the whole time and once I phoned mum she took 45mins to appear even though I know she was shopping 2 mins away .

happybiggirl · 06/11/2006 13:56

Message withdrawn

foxtrot · 06/11/2006 14:00

aderyn, that sounds sensible. Maybe you could ask the parents to set up the tea table for you? At my DS2 (4 yrs) party i felt a bit inhibited in encouraging the party games with all the mums watching me jumping around and making silly voices etc. Also the children more likely to go into what i call 'school mode' (ie behaving nicely and doing as they are asked) if they can't see their parents, and join in the fun.

Skribble · 06/11/2006 14:01

She could have quite easily staying it was in a restaurant, she could have had a coffee. This year I ended up with 3 mums, because I am freindly with them so they all stayed and heckled me while I tried to do bingo and pin the tail on the donkey .

foxtrot · 06/11/2006 14:02

LOL at the heckling skribble, that's how i felt multiplied by about 3!

Piffle · 06/11/2006 14:07

I'd expect all to stay
It's when at primary school people start to drop them off, but I generally stayed as sometimes you do not know parents from Adam!

Clary · 06/11/2006 14:08

I generally have stayed with mine until 5th b/day parties. DD was 4 and 9mo when I first left her for example (earlier this year, hence precise calculation!)

iirc some children were left at DS1's 4th b/day party but certainly not all. If it's at a familiar house with familiar adults I would be happier so you could suggest it to some of the pre-school mums if worried about space.

Clary · 06/11/2006 14:09

did that post make sense? I meant that as a parent taking a child to a party, if my child knows the house and/or host?s parents then I am happier leaving them, so if that applies you could suggest to some of yr pre-school mums that they need not stay.

happybiggirl · 06/11/2006 14:28

Message withdrawn

Gobbledispook · 06/11/2006 14:31

Ds2 had his 4th party on Saturday and all parents stayed. It was at a soft play though.

Ds1 had his 4th party at home and most stayed - one left.

happybiggirl · 06/11/2006 19:27

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Aderyn · 06/11/2006 19:40

I will offer coffee/tea - biscuits. It's quite an early party. Too early for wine!

Do you think I am inviting too many children if all the mums decide to stay?

OP posts:

Mala · 06/11/2006 20:56

Most 4 years I know(incl. dd) would definately prefer their parents to be there. 9 is quite a large number-esp. for this time of the year, as it is too cold to let them out in the garden. I would make sure that you have arranged plenty to occupy them or they could run amok in the house-one party I went to all the children went exploring around the house, jumping on the beds etc. Don't think the partents would be a problem-really helpful to have them around at this age. You could rope them in to help with the games, or if you don't need help I'm sure they'll be happy to rest in a corner with some tea and biscuitsl.

Gobbledispook · 07/11/2006 11:21

We offered coffee/tea - it was 10-12 so no food for the mums!

Original poster

Aderyn · 07/11/2006 11:44

Ours is 10-12 too.

OP posts:

CrocodileKate · 07/11/2006 12:03

If it was made clear on the invite that parents could leave the child then I would have left my ds at 4. He wouldn't notice if i was there or not.

I would stay if I was unsure what was expected of me.

jampots · 07/11/2006 12:05

i wouldnt/didnt stay when my children were 4 - perfectly capable of looking after themselves

As long as they knew to remember their manners, know where the loo was, felt comfortable then I was happy to go. Dont think Ive hosted a party since they were in nursery where the parents stayed.

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