How do divorced parents deal with financial support for young adult children?

[LastOneLoafing]

Name change for this one but long term user.
I could do with some insight into how other families work out a fair arrangement in situations like this…
Divorced parents, one lives alone and the other has recently started living with new spouse in their home. Young adult children live in single parent’s house. All are in higher education, occasional vocational training and temporary employment - so children have no, or low / inconsistent earnings. Both parents contribute equally to the cost of Halls for one child who attends uni. Not England/Wales so their divorce laws don’t apply in this case, and financial arrangements at time of divorce only set out what would happen until children left school. Before that time the children split their time at each parent’s house and all costs were equally shared.
Now, in addition to paying half the Halls cost for one child, the single parent pays all food and household costs for the house which is the permanent home for all children. If one of the children gets a full time permanent job and continues to stay in the family home, that child will be asked to make a financial contribution, but that’s not likely to happen in the short to medium term.
The separation and divorce is years ago and there is no issue or bad blood about either parent being in other relationships.

However, the parent who’s now living with their partner does not appear to consider that they have a financial responsibility in this situation beyond half the Halls cost. Because of where this parent now lives, the children don’t want to, and can’t, spend longer than the occasional overnight or two there.

The child’s uni is close enough that they can still easily be home at weekends and for the duration of longer holidays between semesters. They don’t currently have a part time job during term time.

Long description there, but hopefully some people can follow, relate, and maybe share some insights into whether in similar situations the ‘other’ parent provides financial support towards the children’s home, or how else the ongoing parental load is spread in this kind of case?

One of my biggest anguishes is that I feel like i can’t support DD financially the way I’d like.

She did uni from home and I definitely noticed the bump in all the bills, with one wage for effectively 2 adults I just never got decent savings and with everything that’s going on with the cost of living, it’s only gotten worse.

DD ended up moving out recently so I try to go shopping for groceries with her once a week, plus when she comes home I also send her with meals and we do 1-2 days out a month. She has good savings + her father’s inheritance too (I have kept that for her) so she’s safe, it’s just that I wish I could give more.

They deal with it separately. They are divorced. If single parent chooses to pay for everything for adult children who are capable of working and contributing then that’s their choice and nothing to do with the other parent.

The other parent has no financial responsibility to other adults who do not have special needs.

I say that as a child of divorce. My parents contributed to halls. My dad didn’t pay my mum to keep me.

In my house I am on a low income and so children are entitled to maximum maintenance loans for uni which they have had to get. Other parent gives them £360 a month on top. I think if they still lived at home whilst studying he would give that money to me instead of them, as this is what we did during covid when eldest had to come home for a while. I can't afford to support adult children in my home, so if they weren't studying they would have to have a job and pay towards the bills.

Surely then he pays the child and the child pays you board? As they’re an adult they should pay their own way.

Friend of mine who is divorced said her ex did give their adult children some money directly but it was a very small amount. He also had a partner and earned a lot as did the partner.

Issue is that they just don’t have to so it’s a decision based on their conscience. Mind you DH and I have very different views on how much financial help we should give DS. My view is far more generous.