MIL Birthday stress. Help.

[sillygenius]

What would you buy a 77-year-old MIL who’s difficult to buy for?

Looking for a bit of inspiration for MIL’s birthday.... She’s 77 and we get on perfectly well, but I wouldn’t say I know her well enough to confidently choose something expensive. We live a fair distance away and mostly see her at family things.
DH is being spectacularly helpful with “she doesn’t need anything” 😂 She says the same herself, but I’d like to get her something shell actually enjoy rather than another bunch of flowers.
I recently inherited a little money from a relative and have put most of it away, but would like to use a bit to treat the family. Could stretch to £700 for something really lovely, although that’s an absolute ceiling, not an amount I’m determined to spend!
I’m wary of choosing jewellery or perfume when I don’t really know her taste. Also don’t want to book an “experience” that turns into an obligation or involves loads of travelling.
What have you bought youre mum or MIL that went down really well? Particularly interested in things they wouldn’t have thought to buy themselves. Equally, if you spent £300 on something they absolutely loved, please tell me about that too!

My mil likes nice toiletries like Espa, she also likes a candle the St Eval ones. My DM on the other hand would hate both of those but would love a voucher for a local afternoon tea!

Do you have kids? Maybe a professional photo of them.

We had a pet portrait painted for mil 85th birthday. She loves her dog and it was well received.

Honestly OP, in her seventies for not even a milestone birthday, she really does not need anything running to £700. Save your inheritance for yourself or your children.

Hits in our circle if friends have been posh afternoon tea for the mobile mums, theatre trip (already in the 100’s, tickets are so expensive nowadays). Immobile mums have loved a mobile therapist do a mani/pedicure, head massage, alexa all set up, a new tv with big button remote ready set up.

I bought MIL a locket and put photographs of the DGC in. She loved it. I bought a large fancy one from Etsy, on a long chain to wear over jumpers, as that was very much her taste.

Afternoon tea.

£700!!! Goodness, we would never go above £50. If that’s for 77 how sustainable is it? What do you do for 80.

Things that have gone down well with my MIL are
Fluffy heated throw
Slipper socks
Letterbox brownies
Afternoon tea somewhere nice
Audible subscription
And if all else fails, Charbonnel and Walker chocolate truffles.

Excuse me for being so crass but are you absolutely loaded? £300 - £700 on a gift she and dh don’t seem bothered about her getting, and it’s not a milestone birthday. What will you do for 80th then?!
Id use the money for dc, put it towards her coming to visit you or you visiting her more, take her out for a lovely meal. Or just leave it to dh, he’s her son, or buy her a nice book and be done.
is she normally receptive when you do get something nice? Does she get you anything nice? I ask because My mil used to say she didn’t care and dh would say she doesn’t so don’t worry about it, and I’d put loads of effort in to a gift anyway then she wouldn’t even say thank you and would go out of her way to show me she’d not made any effort with my gift and I’m just imagining how I’d have felt if I’d spent hundreds.

either way I don’t think I’d spend that kind of money on a gamble gift. I’d be mortified if someone did that for me when I think of all the things I actually need for £700. but also I’m not loaded so appreciate it may be different.

This seems to be more about you than her as the gift receiver. I think you need to listen to your DH here. It sounds a waste.

I agree. Most 77 year olds have everything they need. I think "experience" gifts like an afternoon tea or lunch in a Michelin starred restaurant is more likely to be appreciated.

If it were me I would check our different sorts of Monthly magazine subscriptions where she gets a frequency of presents and suprises across the year.

Take her out for a spending spree

It makes me laugh that many associate a 77yo to someone so frail and old fashioned that they'd only enjoy an afternoon tea and some cosy socks or blankets. I don't know the poster's mother in law, but my own mother (same age) goes to the gym twice a week, is rather fashion conscious and travels for leisure a fair bit. How about some nice luggage, new bag or something for the home, e.g. art print, a vase... if she appreciates that sort of presents?

Unsure where you’re based, but my grandmother loved a day out on the Belmond British Pullman! She did the orient express for her 65th birthday and loved a day out in the English countryside when she was much older and not going long haul travel anymore. We did the London to Blenheim and it was wonderful.

£700 seems huge, but, things I've heard friends in their late 70s and 80s receiving recently which they have really liked - as in mentioned to me, even though I am not the giver, so not 'being polite'.......

One had flowers delivered every month for a year, as a present.

One had a raised planter (looks a bit like a table) which her dc planted up with herbs. She does enjoy cooking and is thrilled with this (I had to go out on the patio to look at it). She has mentioned it more than once to me over the months.

Anything that means spending time with the children / grandchildren - depending on budget that can be a coffee and cake date / lunch / afternoon tea / weekend away

Theatre tickets

A bird table set up outside his living room. Again, it gets mentioned a lot. He has been really enjoying it.

What sort of stuff does your husband buy your parent/s?
It's on him to pick and buy stuff for his mother, if he's not bothered, keep your money.

An unnecessary expensive gift for someone you rarely see would be a waste.

Aren't all gifts by their very nature unnecessary?

I'm 75 and I would vote for an outing such as a nice walk with lunch at a country pub or cinema and lunch or theatre trip all of which I would be really happy with and should come in a lot less

This. In 25 years I’ve never bought MIL anything and DH has never bought my mother anything. Completely weird thing to do in our eyes!

Dunno. Is nitpicking one word in someone's post necessary? (Rhetorical)

I'll be 77 on my next birthday and I'd be hugely upset if any of my children spent that amount of money on me.
I don't need anything and can afford nice toiletries etc, but I have appreciated something small and useful that makes me think of the giver: a pretty cushion, a spoon rest, a water bottle, thermos and lunch bag to take on walks, a diary or notebook.
I appreciate being given a book and I would like some bone conduction headphones so I can listen to podcasts while gardening. I'd also love a bunch of flowers or a pot of bulbs.
It really depends on how active your MIL is whether she would prefer fluffy slippers or hiking boots! So many people read the age and think immediately of sedentary pursuits.
I do think the best present is time spent with the family, just a day out or an activity done together. It doesn't need to be expensive.

Kindly, I think you’re massively overthinking this OP. Plus as others have said spending £700 is unnecessary and unsustainable.

What does she like to do? My DM is older but likes to read and also drinks gin. One of her favourite gifts recently has been a gin giftset with a book and some chocolates.

The inheritance woukd be better saved and spent on something for you, I’m sure that’s what the benefactor intended