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ABANDONMENT OF ADULT CHILD AND NO EXPLANATION OR REASON

6 replies

whoknowslaura · 08/10/2026 17:16

Im very confused about what my family has done to me and i have no answers. I have an older brother and for the last several years he just never talks very much to me or my daughter. Through the years I felt like wierd feelings when my mothers friends were there or our relatives that like when i would walk in the room the atmosphere was just wierd. Everything would get quiet and i would get that feeling that i was being talked about. I would ask my mother what was going on and whe always told me nothing and that i am imagining things. The, i was slowly cut off from my cousins and aunts and uncles. Through all of this my parents have done really awful and deliberate acts towards me to do things like try and take my daughter out of our home and have her live with them and i found out just recently that my mother has been talking behind my back for literally years and telling my whole family that I steal from people, lie and do drugs and that i beg her for money. She tells everybody that I beg for money and that she is such a pushover that she gives it to me and I never pay her back so basically I have drained her account and thats why she doesnt have the money that she used to. I have never in my entire life asked my parents for money or borrowed money from them and i certainly never have begged anybody for money. I am not a rich person and I am disabled from being a passenger in a car that was smashed by a drunk driver. I take care of myself and my daughter and i never ask them for anything. I was in a wheelchair for over five years and I had no help. I almost lost both of my legs and i struggled very long and hard to be able to walk again. My injuries are severe and even though i can now walk, I cannot walk far or for very long. I am thankful to have my legs and i do what i can to survive and it is hard being disabled. I cannot get the medical help that I need in order for me to be able to walk better , or walk at all, really and its a huge injustice to disabled people when they are just refused medical care that they need. So, throughout the years, my mother has been just talking behind my back to everybody and making it look like I am this awful person because I dont have much money... ?? and she writes this narrative of things that are simply not true and now my ENTIRE family wont answer my calls, speak to me , email me or even acknowledge that i exist. My mother tells them that I have never done anything with my life and for that i am a piece of crap. I moved to her city to be near to them as they age and I wanted to get closer to them and be there for them when they need me . So, the very month that I moved near them they told me that they were packing up their house of 30 years and moving to Texas where they never even visited before, where her best friend lives. I never heard of this woman before but i though this was a strange thing to do. So, then i went to my moms house one day and she told me as soon as i walked in the door that "They took me out of the Will". I didnt really know what she was trying to say because i never even knew they had a Will so, I mean, in the will or out of the will I dont really care,. I never had any desire for other peoples money and I am not a jealous or greedy person. So, I didnt say anything back to her and then both my parents and my brother started being very rude to me every single time i went to the house. I felt like things were being kept from me, they were talking about me behind my back and if something nice happened to me they were just even more upset with me. They started calling me a liar and would not tell me why and it was very strange. Then, I helped them pack their back yard and the next day they left. They never answered their phone for me again. Thjey wont talk to me or email or text and they act like I died,. I am nonexistent in their life now. I have never doen anythging to any of them and i am very confused as to why this is even happening., Through the years my mother has done some extremely disgusting things to try and take my daughter away from me and there was just no reason for that. Still, I forgave her and tried to have a better relationship with them buyt they just keep on doing all these really awful things to take her from me. Now that she is an adult and efverybody acts like i am dead, excepty my daughter, they pay for her tickets to go see them which is fine, that is her grand parents and their relationship with her has nothing to do with me. But, they do things like they tell her not to tell me that she is visiting them and that is wrong. I would never be upset because she visited and my dauyghter knows that but my mohter is an extrememly vindictive person and she is gertting my daughter to lie to me or not tlel me that she is visiting . I just ... i dont want my daughter to lie to me or be manipulated by my mother and I am just so hurt by the way i have been treeated by ewverybody for my entiere life and i am so alone and i dont even have a family anymore. My daughteer loves me but my mother is manipulating her and its disturbging to say the least. I dont even know why my parents and brother hate me so much and now my ehntire family. I have always tried to be a good daughter to them and they just punish me no matter what i do. They are all very very entitled and my mother is very vindictive and manipulative.. When she has her friends over to her home she tells me not to go there. I figured out that it is because she talks nothing but SHIT on me. If i were to show up there, her friends would learn the truth and that I am a good person i dont lie or steal and im not on drugs., I think that this is the reason they packed up thier housae and moved when i came to live there. My mother is so scared of being exposed for the liar that she is that she packed up her whole house and then cut mew off forever to punish me for some reason. Nobody in my family willl speak to me and when i try to talk to them they tell me that im a drug addicct and a thief and that i steal and beg for money and then they hang up on me.. None of them will actually listen to the truth or even give me the opportunity to hear what has been said or to say my experience. I am having serious mental issues with all of this and i have always been a very storong person. I am depressed and i cannot fix the situation. I am afraid of what my future happiness will be because i kcannot find happiness anymore. Has anything like this ever happened to anybody? What did you do to fix it? Did you ever get any answers for why the people closest to you could even do that to you ? Why is my ENTIRE family doing this to me? It is very hurtful and especially cruel, I already have a hard enough life because i am disabled and i have never gotten any help from them nor have i asked them for help. They act like I miracouosly have healed and tlike i can walk . Or they forgot i had sixteen surgeries to save my legs and that i was in a wheelchair for years. Im confused as to why they are so cruel to me. Its affecting me alot.

OP posts:
ClaraMumsnet · 08/10/2026 19:31

So sorry you're going through this, @whoknowslaura 💐 Just giving this a gentle bump for you - hopefully someone will have some advice to share.

ProteinFibreHaribos · 08/10/2026 22:31

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malefields · 09/10/2026 07:52

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Yeah either that or there’s a massive chunk of this story missing. It definitely doesn’t line up.

ExplodingSmittens · 09/10/2026 08:06

malefields · 09/10/2026 07:52

Yeah either that or there’s a massive chunk of this story missing. It definitely doesn’t line up.

I only read the first paragraph. Far too long for me to commit.

Bitsostuff · 10/10/2026 04:00

I suggest you ask mumsnet to move this to the relationships board @whoknowslaura , you will probably get better advice there.

What you are describing (scapegoating) is sadly not unknown or even that uncommon and is not caused by anything you have done.

UnfilteredMum · 25/10/2026 00:37

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
If what you've written is the whole story, then you need to know that it isn't your fault, and a lot of families are just very messed up.
It sounds a bit too complicated for people to respond to on an internet thread, but there is support out there - I would urge you to contact support phone-lines or a church or any counselling service in your area - I know free/affordable resources are limited, but they are out there.

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