Advice needed ..is this abusive?

[notafancyusername]

19 year old ds uses cannabis every day. He only has his universal credit. Was put on LCWRA for mental health.
I could smell cannabis smoke earlier so I asked him to come down from his bedroom to the landing ( he's in the attic room) he closed the door behind him and refused to open the door.
He told me to be quiet and get in my room as he was on call with someone and didn't want them to hear our conversation?! He then grabbed my wrist and tried to push me in my room. I said get off me and went to my room. He came inside and shut the door behind him. I called my husband from downstairs and he said don't get the police or I will hurt them. There would be a murder scene, they can't touch me. He said he won't put cannabis outside as it might be wet or go missing.
He looked stoned, so I thought I have to de-escalate this situation - so I said just go and calm down and have a cold drink.
He went upstairs, slammed the door and hasn't come back down since. I'm upset and shocked at his bullying behaviour.

Yes it was and you should've called the police then and there and had him removed from your home. Be aware that cannabis can induce psychosis.

I’m not surprised that you ate upset and shocked. Such a difficult situation for you.

Have you and your DH discussed asking him to leave? Although I appreciate you many not want to do this as it will probably result in him being made homeless.

If he has mental health problems, is he seeking any help?

What an awful situation OP.

As PP have mentioned, is he seeking medical support?

I would worry his behaviour will escalate if he’s consistently using cannabis alongside MH challenges.

I would call the police if he becomes physical and makes threats but in the meantime try and get some support.

Just wanted to add that you might want to put a lock on your bedroom door, if you haven’t already.

He needs to go, OP.

Yeah, throw out vulnerable young adult who is struggling with life clearly. Great advice. Whats wrong with people nowadays.

This won’t get better while you tolerate it.
A serious talk, one more chance, and then he would have to go or at least you should call the police.