Vent

[notafancyusername]

19 year old smoking cannabis in bedroom again. He's got a small, powerful torch type lighter, so it's double fire risk. Pile of ash on bedside table and another unlit spliff. I asked him to hand over the spliff and lighter and get out of the house. He snatched them away and refused. He then put his headphones on and said stop talking because I can t hear you. He's refused to go to GP for cannabis addiction help and mental health help. Even though he's had a few incidents with paramedics due to his behaviour. He comes home stoned every night. All his universal credit is gone within a few days (he gets it every 2 weeks). I've suggested he gets his building society to block cash withdrawals so he doesn't buy cannabis but he's refused. He is on LCWRA due to his risky behaviours.
I've had to finally say I'm sorry but I can't stand the stink and the constant disrespect. I will have to go and see the police about it. He yells at us every day and I've been using a voice recorder on my phone to record it. Even the neighbours have asked me if I am ok because they hear him yelling abuse

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I did with my DD. Ultimately I had to ask her to leave. I paid for counselling, creative activities which actually helped a lot, then she moved away for a low paid job with accommodation included. Unfortunately she became addicted to coke once she had money.

Eventually she pulled through and built a good career but her mental health is still poor. I found Young Minds very helpful.

He needs to move out. His behaviour isn’t acceptable for a family home. If he has to pay rent it reduces his much money he has for weed

What are the risky behaviour? Unfortunately getting additional UC won’t help him sort out his life. Usually the reality/routine of a job is the best way to support people to turn their life around.

@OnlyFrench how old was your DD by the time she managed to stabilise herself?

My DD is lovely and still capable (she’s doing uni online and working PT) but very difficult to live with and I do believe that it’s due to a weed addiction that she doesn’t see how serious it is. I’m getting so fed up with the stench that I don’t know what to do, but I also don’t want to push her to leave so I just feel trapped by it all.

@PanicPanicc does the smell of weed come from it being kept/used in the home? If so, I'd bin it.

How on earth do young fit people get UC for doing nothing?

I think so but she’d never admit to it there’s been numerous back and forth discussions about this. I think she relies on me knowing next to nothing about it.

My boyfriend has also said to just start going into her bedroom and bin it until she gets the picture. I hate the idea of rummaging through someone else’s things but she does make it difficult.

I don’t know how it works but when you’re over 18 it’s the same as any other adult.

My workplace worked with young men in long term unemployment and it was all the same, one of them had been sitting at home for like 3 years collecting benefits and saving them. He told us all about it until someone told him to please stop 💀 he had more savings than me.

He has been found unfit for work so he actually gets twice as much money as other unemployed young people... So plenty to spend on drugs :(

I would just chuck him out . Easier said than done but that's my boundary.

Another thread where the OP disappears after one post ...