Feeling Hurt

[sunny2468]

Hi all. My post is regarding my adult married daughter. She has 2 young children whom I love dearly and take care of them regularly. I've reduced my hours at work and moved house recently so I can be close as the children are growing up. My dilemma is that if I am unwell (which isn't a regular occurrence) and can't look after them then she distances herself and is off with me. They get lots of help from other family too so it's not as though there's no one else.
At the moment I've got Covid and the same thing has happened. My daughter has shown no concern for me only for her childcare problems.
I feel really hurt and confused as to why she is behaving like this. Life is full of unexpected things including illness etc I just don't think she can cope with it. Thoughts please and be kind. X

Unfortunately 'children' can take their parents for granted, and that's probably what's happening here. Tell her how her behaviour makes you feel.

This is not fair on you at all.

If she uses free childcare she has to put up with the odd time when you're not able to do it. It's something she should have a plan for. I can understand you feeling hurt too, she seems to be behaving in a particularly thoughtless way.

So sorry OP that she treats you this way. She sounds a bit entitled. Was she like that growing up?

That does sound hurtful, sorry OP. Adult children can really try the patience, my adult DD can be a real pita, barely ever says thank you. She just can’t cope with the idea of her not being 100% independent. Maybe yours is same or even just really caught up in trying to juggle her planning. Get well soon OP and maybe give her another little boost by saying, ‘I wish I was feeling well again and was seeing little DGC, I miss them and you’, see how she responds. Maybe she feels better when it’s you that’s caring for them.