Step father doesn't like my kids

[strebor5]

Hi can anyone help please. My partner/husband of 6 years does not like my kids. My daughter is now 21 working and paying rent but t he thinks it's time she left and makes it known often. My son is 18 at college and has ADHD but I think he is just on the Asperger spectrum. Right now we have just come home from a weeks holiday without them which was great but immediately he's moaning and just want to cry and worst case scenario is leave him!!!!! But I do love him. Please help

21 and living at home isn't unusual these days. Could she even afford to move out? The other questions are; is she respectful? Does she tidy up after herself? Does she help out with household chores? As far as your son, he's still in full time education, so of course he's living at home! But the same applies (other than rent).

Our adult DS2 is living at home due to unforeseen circumstances but he is a 'contributing member' of the household. We were enjoying being 'empty nesters' but life happens and of course we welcomed him home. He pays rent and carries a 'fair share' of the household responsibilities. Would we rather he be on his own? Sure and so would he, but right now that's just not possible.

I think the issue is your statement that 'he doesn't like my kids'. Do you really feel that he actually doesn't like them or is it just that he wants to be an 'empty nester' or that your kids aren't respectful and helpful? Because if they are respectful and contribute to the household and he really just plain out doesn't like them, then you need to tell him to leave. Never pick a man over your child. Never. But I would have thought you'd have noticed his dislike over the last 6 years (+ however long you dated).

I find it hard to imagine how you can love someone who makes it known they don't like your children. Barring inexcusable behaviour, you and your children are a package deal. Whose side are you on?

I don’t particularly like my step daughter for reasons too long to go into but I grin and bear it.