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Parents of adult children

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Original poster

Please help with my 16 year old

23 replies

Mumofabeauty123 · 13/06/2019 11:10

Advice needed please I have a son who is 16 and thinks he's an adult!!! He has decided to move out basically sofa surfing he has no job and is due to finish school this week. I have asked for help off social services and the police but they say there is nothing they can do as he is 16 and thinking with his feet. Xx

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 13/06/2019 11:20

It can be a horrible age, can't it?

What will happen is that people will get absolutely sick of him sofa surfing and sponging off them. Where does he think he'll get his money from? He won't be able to just sign on.

What you shouldn't do is just accept him back with no rules laid down. In the meantime I wouldn't nag him but enjoy the respite.

HollowTalk · 13/06/2019 11:24

Basically he thinks he knows it all and that he can live his life however he wants to. You have to sit back and let him learn for himself that it's not exactly like that.

It's the hardest thing in the world to sit back and let your child learn those lessons, but you can't tell him. He won't learn that way. He has to learn for himself.

Original poster
Mumofabeauty123 · 13/06/2019 11:34

@HollowTalk your right he thinks he knows everything but it's so hard without my families support they all say they are there for him but nobody has offered to put him up Angry.
Basically I lost my husband I'm only 35 and I've met somebody else we have ran every decision by all of my kids and there hasn't been one point in which any of them have disagreed.

My family don't agree with me and my new partner and have chosen to use this against the situation instead of teaming that it's actually about my son. Xx

OP posts:
Newmumma83 · 13/06/2019 11:38

my brother did that when 16 well kind of ... he got a job mum and dad asked for a small
Amount of board ... he instead rented a room for triple the cost ... got in debt and came back within a couple of months... credit to him he did have a job and did rent from the word go... they had to let him go
For him to realise that the grass wasn’t greener.

Does your son dislike your partner or is this just you extended family using this? And what do they feel their reasons are? X x

Original poster
Mumofabeauty123 · 13/06/2019 11:47

My son has now decided after talking to family that he no longer likes my partner but this is def down to family influences.
There is something (non serious) about my partners past that my family don't like but like I told them we all have a past and it doesn't bother me. Xx

OP posts:
Lightsabre · 13/06/2019 11:59

Has your partner moved in with you?

cakeandchampagne · 13/06/2019 12:03

What is in your partner’s past?

Coronapop · 13/06/2019 12:04

Your son should be first priority rather than your partner.

Original poster
Mumofabeauty123 · 13/06/2019 12:04

My partner has moved in but we asked the children first they all said yes and I asked them on my own so that they could answer truthfully I just think he was a daft lad in the past I have told him I do t need to know as it's in the past xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumofabeauty123 · 13/06/2019 12:05

@Coronapop my son is my first priority trust me!!! He won't come home won't have counselling or anything.

OP posts:
AlpacaP1cnic · 13/06/2019 12:06

So you don't know about your partners past then? Because you don't want to know? Is that correct?

Original poster
Mumofabeauty123 · 13/06/2019 12:07

That's correct it's nothing to do with me

OP posts:
WatcherintheRye · 13/06/2019 12:12

Don't you think you're being a bit of an ostrich as far as your partner's past goes? If he wants to tell you, why don't you want go listen? Are you worried it might change your feelings for him? All the more important to know, I would have thought.

WatcherintheRye · 13/06/2019 12:14

*to

Original poster
Mumofabeauty123 · 13/06/2019 12:33

No it's nothing to do with that because I know it's nothing serious involving police or a criminal record. It's just daft things with exes but I'm not an ex and we are good together. Plus my son moving out is nothing to do with my partners past it's what's happening here and now and him thinking he knows best xxx

OP posts:
cakeandchampagne · 13/06/2019 12:39

Have you talked to your son today?

Original poster
Mumofabeauty123 · 13/06/2019 12:52

I try every day

OP posts:
Namenic · 13/06/2019 13:46

Perhaps arrange to meet him for a coffee/lunch every week so you can keep up with how things are going?

ssd · 20/06/2019 08:21

It sounds like your son knows more about your partners past than you do.

Wildorchidz · 20/06/2019 08:23

What ages are your other children?

katewhinesalot · 20/06/2019 08:27

Let him go but reassure him that you'd rather he stays, you respect his decision though, that he is welcome back anytime and tell him please don't let pride get in the way. Ask him to come to you if he finds himself in any difficulty at all.

thinkimtrying · 06/10/2019 23:33

this is worrying but i agree you should let him live where he wants to but continue to communicate with him. i'd say your relationship is more important than where he lives

Aquamarine1029 · 06/10/2019 23:42

Are you really so clueless that you don't realise this has everything to do with your new partner? Confused

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