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Parents of adult children

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Original poster

Paying for outings

13 replies

Silbury1967 · 29/05/2019 14:36

Hi, I have a bit of a quandry - one of our kids is an adult living with their partner. I'd like to take them to a theme park this summer with the rest of the family. I intend buying a ticket for our grown up son but do I pay for his partner's ticket too? My husband says they should pay for themselves, and I think we should pay. Our son is on a low wage which is why I think it should be our treat. Opinions welcome ☺

OP posts:
Rainatnight · 29/05/2019 14:37

I think it would be a nice gesture, and the hospitable thing to do if you can afford it. You’ll get lots on here saying they never got a penny after they turned 18 and your DC should stand on their own two feet...

Patchworksack · 29/05/2019 14:39

Adult children should not 'expect' parents to pay but if you can afford to treat them to an expensive day out they otherwise would struggle to afford then that's a really nice thing to do. I think you should treat the 'partner' as a family member - assuming this is a "family" outing. Have a nice trip!

Bubblysqueak · 29/05/2019 14:39

I think you should pay for both. When my parents treat me to a day out they treat DH too as he's part of the family.

IrmaFayLear · 29/05/2019 14:41

Play the long game, OP.

If this partner is a permanent prospect you'll want to ingratiate yourself. See it as an investment in being able to see your grandchildren in the future! [Been on MN long enough to know that dils judge pil on their willingness to open their wallets...]

StopItandGoToBed · 29/05/2019 14:41

I can't imagine not paying for my son's partner if this situation. I think it would be extremely odd behaviour to pay for one and not the other.

Magmatic80 · 29/05/2019 14:42

If you’re inviting the partner I think you should pay for them too. I would expect the partner to then pay for a round of ice creams or whatever in return though!

m0therofdragons · 29/05/2019 14:42

You want to take them to a theme park then I would expect you to pay. Paying for dd and not her partner feels like he's excluded and only welcome if he pays.

If you'd all discussed going out together then it's fair for dd and her partner to pay for themselves but it sounds like it's something you want to do.

user1493413286 · 29/05/2019 14:42

I think if you pay for your son then you need to pay for his partner so make your decision based on that.

Careradvice2019 · 29/05/2019 14:47

Lots on here saying they never got a penny after they turned 18 and your DC should stand on their own two feet@#RainatNight my husband feels this way 😫
I don't think you can pay for the son and not the partner I'd find that very odd
However I would expect they'd be kind enough to buy a round of ice cream or a pint in the local 'spoons

PCohle · 29/05/2019 14:49

I think it would be a nice gesture if you can afford it.

Personally I'd pay for both or neither - just paying for your son but not his partner would feel harsh to me.

Original poster
Silbury1967 · 29/05/2019 15:24

Thankyou all - I'll get a ticket for both of them ☺

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 29/05/2019 15:26

Whatever you do she’ll be on here in 5 years complaining that either you’re incredibly stingy or incredibly patronising. So you can’t win!

stucknoue · 29/05/2019 15:35

It depends a lot on the circumstances, if they are an established couple and not earning a lot of income then treating them means paying for both.

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