Paying for adult children & their partners

[Jacquie1965]

My children are in their mid 20s. If we go out eg for dinner or a gig or holiday I still pay for them and am not sure if I should pay for their partners too? I wouldnt really want to pay for their partners to come on holiday as am a single parent living on a pension but dinner, gigs etc are a grey area and neither my kids nor their partners have much income

No of course not, and why are you paying for your children still, they’re adults? An occasional treat maybe or for special occasions but you shouldn’t have to do it all the time. Choose less expensive places to go to or eat at. Especially as you’re on a pension, how can they think you can afford it??!
I don’t think they would be expecting you to pay for partners and the partners should refuse anyway if you offer. It’s very kind of you to pay or think about paying for them but they’re adults and with adulthood comes adult responsibilities. Again if it was their birthday treat then possibly yes but not every time you go out with them.

If I invite them out for a meal I pay for them. Not had the gig or holiday situation though. I feel life is tough growing up and gone are the days when a cuddle on your knee would solve most problems so it's a nice thing to do. If though you have to watch your money maybe you could say that you will buy the drinks. Also depends on how long term the partners are. Offering to pay a portion of the gig or holiday would again be an option, tell them in advance of booking so they can cut their coat according to their cloth. They should not expect it though (do they know your financial circumstances) and if you do pay I hope their thanks are effusive.