24 yr old DD has depression.

[MotherOfanAdult]

Help, I'm in despair.

My beautiful 24 year daughter has not left the house in months, not bathed in months, not washed her hair in months.

She got fired from her job (she was always late, it's a trait of hers) and she's dropped out of uni.

She is in bed constantly. She is awaiting counselling but has refused antidepressants.

She should be out living her life. I'm not sure what to do as I feel like I've exhausted all options. 😭

It’s really hard when someone you love has depression.

There’s not much you can do until she accepts she needs help. I wonder if you might get more responses posting in mental health?

My 22 year old DD is finally starting to improve after 2 years of depression. Its heart breaking and exhausting looking after your child but please try and persuade her to try medication. My daughter was on one medication for over 18 months with minimal change but was put on a different medication in the summer and is finally looking like her old self and finally not having to sleep during the day to get through it. It's been a rollercoaster of calls during the night when she's been struggling at Uni but finally there is light at the end of the tunnel. Her GP said she may need to stay on her tablets long term but likened to her being diabetic i.e. insulin deficient - she wouldn't refuse medication for that deficiency. If her body needs to get back in balance then there is no shame in taking tablets to help. You need to look after yourself too though to be able to cope.

You shouldn't compare ADs to insulin. ADs are a hit and miss scattergun approach, insulin addresses a very specific deficiency. That's not to say that ADs are not vital to some, but for others (many) they're absolutely no use.

Could you afford to arrange private therapy Mother? That might be more effective than waiting for the NHS, and would also enable you/ your daughter to find a psychotherapist suited to your daughter's difficulties.

Does your daughter have other functional or social difficulties? You mentioned the timekeeping and, if that is combined with other issues, may be suggestive of autism or similar. It may not be anything of the sort, but is worth being aware of.

Can she access online help? Read a book on CBT? Would she set short term goals? Shower and dress tomorrow?
Anti depressants have really helped me. Why doesn't she want to take them?