Dessert if they don't eat their lunch/dinner........yes or no ??

[nutcracker]

O.k dd1 and 2 know my rule on this, which is they have to eat a good proportion of whatever I have given them otherwise they donot get anytihng for afters ie yoghurt, fruit, biscuit etc.

Ds is 2 and a half and doesn't get this at all.

He has just had cheese on toast, one peice cut into 4 and he only ate 1 square. He asked for yoghurt so I said he had to eat another sqaure first. He didn't so I threw it away got him out of his chair and haven't given him the yoghurt.

I feel mean though ..

you were right. IME 2.5 is old enough to understand the principle. I think he was just trying it on.

I think you are right Nutty.

Last night we had lasagne - ds1 didn't eat one mouthful, ds2 had 1 mouthful plus one piece of garlic bread. They went to bed with nothing!

I'm getting tough now - this morning they were starving so they had cereal then some fruit but when they started asking for biscuits i said no. Ds2 has just eaten a massive plate of lasagne left over from last night plus 2 bananas and an apple!!! Ds1 has just had the fruit, insisting he doesn't like lasagne.

Btw, ds2 is 2.5, he likes lasagne but last night 'I don't like it' but only because he was copying ds1.

Lol yeah he was, he knows i usually give in thats why.

It's just that I like him to have a yoghurt or a peice of fruit or whatever. Suppose I could give him some fruit after his nap still.

No way José

If your tummy is too full for food it is too full for treats.

my ds is also 2.5 and i do the same,

my rule used to be "unless more then half has gone" but ds tried putting the food down the side of his chair to make it "gone" so we had to change it to "unless more then half is eaten"

I very rarely give Ds 'pudding', anyway, so it hasn't become set up as the holy grail that is badly wanted. tbh, i am uncomfortable with setting one form of food up as more important / desirable, because that is likely to be counter-productive, isn't it?

Think it may help for him (all of them?)only to have savoury meals for a while?

Oh good, don't feel so mean now.

We don't have a set amount that they have to eat really, I just have a look and see what they have eatan and then decide usually.

Me too nutty - it's when I feel they've eaten a sufficient amount!

Message withdrawn

going against the grain here and may well change my mind (as you do) but I look at a 'whole meal' ie lunch is say a sandwich, fruit and some fruit yoghurt (not a pudding one) and if dd doesn't really want her sandwich but feels like her fruit and yoghurt she can have them if she is still hungry there is only the sandwich to have. Same with dinner but usually only just dinner and fruit.
I know myself sometimes you just don't feel like something, and I don't want to force dd to eat it.

If i did that chuffed then my kids would only ever eat their dessert.

I'm starting to get tough on this, too. DD, two next week, has twigged.

She nibbled her tea the past couple of nights. So we put her down w/no pudding. When she started up her 'eat, eat!' an hour later, I gave her the tea she didn't eat.

as I said, it may well change if that starts to happen.

indeed, nutty.

He's forgotten about it anyway now, so he can't have been that bothered.

He will grasp it soon once he realises his brother gets pudding and he does not.My kids 6 and 7.9yrs know to get any pudding they have to eat all veg on plate i never make them eat all meat or potato,rice, pasta.Fruit is on offer all day long if hungry.so pudding is ice cream or yoghurt.

We never had pudding after meals when I was growing up, except after Sunday lunch. But I knew I was going to get a big, fat "no" if I asked for treats when I'd wasted my meal.
I know it can be counterproductive to make a child clear their plate, but I operate a strict no ice-cream policy for my cousin (5yo) when she eats at ours, unless she's eaten a reasonable amount (three quarters) of her main meal.
Her Mum gives it to her regardless of how much/little she eats which I think makes me look extra mean, but she knows not to beg, plead, cry or throw a wobbler because I've never given in.
Maybe I am extra mean..?

I am not saying I agree with her, but my HV told me never to omit pudding from a meal as it is part of the nutrition that your child needs, plus denying pudding is teaching your child that pudding is a treat rather than an important part of the meal. I suppose if pudding is fruit or f frais, it is important that they eat it, especially if they haven't had any of their main course. I would rather they had that than nothing.
On saying that, the number of times I have said "if you don't eat that there will be no pudding!!"

DD knows the rules. If she eats "enough" of her mal then she will get a pudding. pudding is usually something like jelly or yoghurt or rice pudding or grapes and slices of banana.
I usually so the "one more mouthful for me" routine and I have to stick to my promise. I have to remember that they may be ready for something sweet as we sometimes are when we eat meals. I know I sometimes leave room for dessert!

Tonight the ds's ate the fish fingers and home made chips but wouldn't eat the vegetables...so no ice lolly!

But tonight, when ds1 didn't eat his pasta and came to me crying half an hour later saying he was hungry, i caved in and let him have cheese and crackers - he'd had nothing since lunchtime and seemed to genuinely dislike my homemade tuna pasta. Sniff.

Mind you, ds2 got a gingerbread man cos he finished his and ds1 didnt' get one of those.

Easy in our house-no biscuits or puddings around at all. (They're free to request a nice glass of Chablis though )

I'd let them have it if it were fruit or yoghurt (nothing else though) and when they cry hungry later on either say 'sorry but you've had dinner and that is all the food for the evening' or re-offer the dinner that was served in the first place.

I know someone who thinks that pudding is part of the whole 'meal package' and isn't omitted if the savoury stuff isn't eaten. However, if her DD doesn't want much of her main course, then her pudding is only a tiny amount. Along the lines of, 'if you've no room for your fish fingers, then you'll only want a small amount of pudding!'. She says it's very effective.

I am guilty of serving up big portions to my kids but they always demolish the lot.

ds3 aged 2.5 is expected to have a pretty good bash at it, which he usually does so gets his pud, but if he refuses then he gets nowt else til the next meal time. Tough on him if that next meal happens to be breakfast.