Am I the only one swimming uphill through custard?

[motherinferior]

Six years ago I wasn't particularly happy, but I did have a life. I went out. I had a lot of friends. I saw movies, lots of them. I'd finally decided that I was quite nice-looking, and in fact quite a few blokes asked me out, and if they were sufficiently dodgy, unreliable, attached elsewhere and/or the proud owner of a mild drink and/or drug habit, I would consent to some sort of pointlessly tortured affair-ette. All in all I was adjusting pretty well to the fact that I was facing a childless single middle age - and that I could in consequence take the risk of going freelance and generally Making A New Life.

And then I took up with DP and got pregnant and in lots of ways took a turn for the better, and actually my freelance career took off too and now I live in a rather nice house with two delightful daughters and a man who does want to be nice to me.

So why do I feel as if I'm swimming uphill through custard? Am I the only one? I have reached the point where the Inferiorettes, although admittedly capable of a certain winsome charm, also seem to behave in a manner more suited to under-fives boot camp than anywhere else. DD2 said her first sentence to me the other day (in front of another Mumsnetter and her family ): it was GO AWAY. She biffs people, bellows NO and throws herself into strops which I know perfectly well I should manage in boundary-setting chilledout way instead of standing around feeling pathetic and pointless. DD1 whinges and whinges and WHINGES, and also refuses to eat. I'm fed up and knackered - and then of course feel dreadfully guilty if they do, as they frequently do, commit a winsomely helpful act in my direction. They have eaten my life. I cannot remember when I last saw a grown-up movie. Come to that I'm such a knackered crap parent I can't remember taking them to anything similar either. And my self-image and self-esteem have taken such a major knock that the idea of anyone, however dodgy and/or desperate, succumbing to my aged charms is bloody ridiculous.

Anyone else for the custard waterfall?

I missed the latest posts on this thread but issymum, I totally with your dh on the parenting programmes, I can't watch them either. I also agree that there's a balance to be struck between paying attention to our children/positive parenting and knowing that we HAVE to put ourselves first sometimes or we will lose it and then be absoluely no use to them at all.

I can't watch those programmes either and dh totally bans them anyway

I think those parenting programmes put a lot of pressure on parents to 'perform'.

It seems the status of children has risen in our society. Not that I think they are not important but it seems to be that it is ALL about the children, ie Where people choose to live (for the schools), where people go on holiday (for the kids), etc etc

Additionally I think there is now the notion of quality time and play time with children, so not only do we have to care, for, cook for etc but also play with - there really isn't that much time.

And play dates!!!! What is that all about! When I was a child we played with the neighbourhood kids we weren't driven to specific houses just to play. That has got to take up a lot of time surely.