Am I the only one swimming uphill through custard?

[motherinferior]

Six years ago I wasn't particularly happy, but I did have a life. I went out. I had a lot of friends. I saw movies, lots of them. I'd finally decided that I was quite nice-looking, and in fact quite a few blokes asked me out, and if they were sufficiently dodgy, unreliable, attached elsewhere and/or the proud owner of a mild drink and/or drug habit, I would consent to some sort of pointlessly tortured affair-ette. All in all I was adjusting pretty well to the fact that I was facing a childless single middle age - and that I could in consequence take the risk of going freelance and generally Making A New Life.

And then I took up with DP and got pregnant and in lots of ways took a turn for the better, and actually my freelance career took off too and now I live in a rather nice house with two delightful daughters and a man who does want to be nice to me.

So why do I feel as if I'm swimming uphill through custard? Am I the only one? I have reached the point where the Inferiorettes, although admittedly capable of a certain winsome charm, also seem to behave in a manner more suited to under-fives boot camp than anywhere else. DD2 said her first sentence to me the other day (in front of another Mumsnetter and her family ): it was GO AWAY. She biffs people, bellows NO and throws herself into strops which I know perfectly well I should manage in boundary-setting chilledout way instead of standing around feeling pathetic and pointless. DD1 whinges and whinges and WHINGES, and also refuses to eat. I'm fed up and knackered - and then of course feel dreadfully guilty if they do, as they frequently do, commit a winsomely helpful act in my direction. They have eaten my life. I cannot remember when I last saw a grown-up movie. Come to that I'm such a knackered crap parent I can't remember taking them to anything similar either. And my self-image and self-esteem have taken such a major knock that the idea of anyone, however dodgy and/or desperate, succumbing to my aged charms is bloody ridiculous.

Anyone else for the custard waterfall?

Yes,keep quoting that to dh, tiny.
Saw a woman once wearing a t shirt that said
'I could have changed the world... and then on the back
'.....but I was too busy at home looking after the kids.'

Tinygang, reading this thread and moaning has made me feel a lot better, so thanks all of you. I think I'm going to book us 1 night away in a hotel because I think we need it. We can't really afford it but sod it, I think we deserve it.

Must be lovely and hot where you are just now moondog. Your life sounds very intersesting, of course the realities are probably very tricky in a different country when you add chldren to the equation. Do you speak the language fluently? (dh would love those mountains on his bike

Love your pictures www - ahhhh, peace and QUIET and no lego, cars or Barbie to break your feet on [faraway, misty eyed look nursing throbbing toe]

Message withdrawn

'ere, what floor is that circular room in Brighton on? Not too keen on the bath right in the window !

That's the spirit www - DO IT! Imagine yourself, nice drink in hand, lovely hotel, watching the world go by, yummy meal for two...

Saw this film once and a woman was asked what she most desired in life. She said 'Room service..' Oh, how I agree with that!

Oh, and sun emphatically has ceased to shine here but fortunately no custard to go with the rain

Havent read the whole thread but it goes with out saying we all have our custard days I've been a stay at home mum for the past six mths with my ds4, having worked most of my adult life, I'm 37 and also have a dd 18 and by god, I've nothing but admiration for anyone who is a parent! It's one of the hardest jobs in the world, plenty of overtime, except we don't get double time on bank holidays or xmas etc, If I had a pound or euro in my case (I'm in Ireland)for every cup or ornament broken, for every tantrum, for the times when there was a poo or wee accident etc etc I,d prob own that luxurious retreat that wickedwaterwithc posted about in Mauritis! They break your heart, they help the ageing process brilliantly So where am I going with this? sorry can ramble on a bit, well for me anyway, its when I,ve put ds eventually! down to bed and he's sleeping like a little cherub, my heart melts I'm looking down at this bautifil little angel asleep, the same terror that drove me up the wall earlier and realise. He needs me! He needs me to protect him, to cherish and care for him, and somewhere deep inside when I hear that gentle snore it gives me the strenght and realisation that I love him so much and this is the best job in the world.

Came across this poem a few yrs ago, think it's a howl.

They fu*k you up

They fu*k you up your mum and dad
They may not mean to but they do
They fill you with the faults they had
Then add some extra just for you

But they were fu*ked up in their turn
By fools in old style hats and coats
Who half the time were soppy stern
And half at one anothers throats

Man passes misery to man
It deepens like a coastal shelf
Get out as early as you can
And dont have any kids yourself Grin]

ps sorry but spelling mistake should have been spelt beautiful and didn't turn out cause ds was crawling all over me

Tinygang, remote part of Turkey and am actively learning Turkish but yes, it is interesting when I am not bogged down in these feeding/changing/dressing routines (so relate to your clockwatching observations oops!)
At the risk of sounding naff, it is an honour and a privilege to be in this place where there can't be more than a handful of foreigners.
When we do things like go to the border with Armenia and stand at the foot of Mt Ararat it is brilliant.

I can't complain. Dh and i actively chose a life which promised to be radically different. Ironically, what I miss the most is the run of the mill things that we would do if in one place for longer than 6 weeks at a time. Teaching our dd to ride her bike properly,doing some gardening,seeing friends more oftem,walking more.
As it is, we are back and forth,back and forth,back and forth. It is so dull making sure there are enough clothes,nappies,bibs blah blah blah in each place and ultimately, however exotic the posting, someone has to stay home and wipe arses and that happens to be me.....

MD are you on the move every six weeks ??

Mostly,going back and forth so that dh gets a break from v high stress job and I get a bit of a life and dd goes to school lol!!!
Would probably be easier to just stay here actually.......

Hold on , my head hurts, are you telling me that you decamp from Turkey to Wales every 6 weeks ??

If so, respect woman respect.

Yes we do!

Not worthy

Not worthy.

lol lgj!!
Not that hard, just a yaaaaawn to constantly pack,unpack,pack,unpack.....

Moondog! What am I moaning about and you doing all that!

Liked your comment about being the one to stay home and wipe arses. Ah, there's nothing like a healthy dose of reality to take the 'exotic' out of your life! Still, sounds quite an experience though.

Packing and unpacking. God, I get in a faff about it on our little one week away in this country once a year!

tiny, at the risk of sounding like a patronising bitch, I do suppress a small smile when I see friends getting into a flap about holidays/weekends away and so on. My sil is a case in point,longer than 24 hours away from home involving one of those roof carrier things!!
Dh and I piss ourselves laughing!!
Very proud of the fact that we travelled around Thailand and Malaysia when dd was 14 months with one rucksack (for all of us) and a stroller. Even the check in woman was amazed.
Sorry, I'm veering off the point here aren't I?

Not patronising, a tad smug perhaps, but Lordy Lord girl you are entitled.

Lol Moondog! I'm more along the lines of your sil. Last year our roof box accidentally blew open on a very fast duel carriageway on the way home.

There is no shame like seeing your dirty laundry blowing about everywhere with dh risking certain death running about trying to collect it all up.

You should be proud of the lack of luggage and all that travelling - but HOW HOW?? We seem to get through a bagful of clothes in one day alone, mind you there are 5 of us in total.

Well, five is a lot. (Mind you, we're 4.....)
Reusable nappies and b/feeding have helped massively, as has keeping clothes to a minimum.
The biggest weight is books for me!

Lol at the box thing blowing open! Reminds me of the time I lost my wing mirror on the dual carriageway (fell off) and when I told dh, the first thing he said in all seriousness was 'Did you go back and get it then?' FFS!!

I've just come back to this thread to say that although my own personal custardliness is in abeyance, my own experience of friends without children is rather different. They are energetic, attractive, fulfilled women doing jobs which are incidentally going to do a lot more to change the world we live in than mine. I do, very much, see TM's point that they don't seem any younger than me (although that may be the effect of the fact that they have more money so they can do more Grownup Things). But I don't feel they are lacking anything in their lives (especially the ones who've made an active decision not to have children)... and yes, in some ways I do envy them.

Earlybird, you're so spot on. It's like a roller-coaster, isn't it. My daughters make my heart melt. I would die for them. So why is living with them so effing difficult ?

I spent Sunday lunch at Babington House with four childless friends - needless to say dh and I had the two dds in tow.

I did feel like Mrs Harrassed from Stressville most of the time. The five grown ups (notice how I don't include myself in that group) sat back, soaked up the sun and got stuck into a bottle of champagne while I ran around with the dds, making sure they didn't a)drown themselves b)attack the other kids there c) wander off and check themselves into Room 5 with a bottle of JD and some x-rated DVDs.

I must have exchanged about 5 coherent sentences with the 'grown ups'. At one point dh 'took over' so I could finish my food - lasted about 5 mins before he skulked back - "They want you, they don't want me" - ah that old chestnut.

I would have had a more relaxing time at Brewsters

Glad your waves of custard have retreated a bit MI - thanks for starting this thread. It's made me feel that even though a vat of yellow stuff is about to drop on my head (due end of month) there'll still be women going through the same thing on here - and loads a bit further down the line who can offer some perspective.
Reading your last post I realised that I don't have any single friends without kids left so I've got noone to compare myself with anymore - apart from the whippersnappers in Topshop when I get my half an hour to shop.