is anyone else dh/dp a waste of time when it comes to getting kids ready

[bigboydiditandranaway]

dh is great at doing diy etc but every weekend i feel as if i'm walking in quick sand when it comes to getting kids ready or just generally taking care of them.

in the week i manage to get them both ready(2.6 and 10wk old)tidy up kitchen, make beds etc and get myself ready by about 9am, when it comes to the weekend, it's 10/10.30.

Is anyone else in the same boat? Any tips?

I am in AWE of 9am and a quick kitchen clean up and I am a mum myself...I think that no-one can compare

I find the only way that works with DH is to bark orders at him in manner of Sargeant Major to new entrant Cadets - it would look awful if ever I appeared on Wife swap, but really, its the only way to get them to do things.

I also find my DH works best if everything is laid out to hand otherwise he wanders from room to room looking for a vest or socks with gormless expression and then gets distracted by something else! They cannot multi task!

My dh is great and very hands on with the kids. He gets up with them in the morning and baths them at night.

HOWEVER, god help us all if he has to get them ready to take out for the day or something. It takes twice as long as if I was doing it. ANd if we are all going out, i find he slows me down enormously! What is it about men??

bigboy mine is the same except also shite at DIY

have given up trying to let him sort things out and now lay it all out and write lists

I know I shouldn't baby him but it makes it a heck of a lot easier in the long run AND makes for a happier home

Yes definatley- I can have myself and two dds (4 & 2) up and dressed downstairs having breakfast, whilst dp is just going up stairs to get dressed etc (cue 40 min wait)- whilst he is upstairs faffing).
I always organise the change bag, drinks etc, make sure push chairs are in correct car etc if we are going out. It seems that dp can just about get himself ready (though he manages this every weekday morning by himself for work too!)
Try giving him set tasks (ie. could you make sure change bag is all set, whilst i get the kids dressed.
Or putting the clothes out for them, ready for him to get them dressed- this speeds things up.

I'm so glad it's not just me!! Will try your approaches, good tips.

Do you think they do it deliberatly? Probably not but ahhh he makes me so cross it puts a dampner on the weekend.

What I also find is that they just do not think about eventualities...with our bloody ever changing weather I make sure I have a cardi for cold, mac for rain and a hat and sun cream for sun when we go out.

DH looks at me as if I'm ott (ok, DS is my pfb ) and doesn't get the concept that it MAY rain later or the sun MAY come out and so its best to be prepared rather than have a toddler screeching MY EYES MY EYES because no sun hat or whatever.

I blame the mothers...they never teach them anything beyond looking after themselves...

So, with me doing all this for DS...am I perpetuating the cycle??!!

....I'm slightly awed and bemused.

Get two tiny ones ready for what, exactly??!

10 am eh? Tsk, how slovenly....

I imagine you would be horrified by weekend scenes here at Goth Towers, where urchins on occasion pass the whole day pyjama clad and be-duveted....

My DH is not too bad. In fact when I came back from a weekend away, I found he'd cleaned half the house as well as looking after the kids.

Mine would ATTempt it. Ang get MOST of the way there, albeit in 3 times the time it would take me. But I would have to bite my tongue about what they were actually wearing, and it's highly doubtful they would have brushed teeth, washed faces, brushed hair etc. However he could get out of the door intact - but you can guarantee that the house would be a total tip. I do it quicker and tidy as I go.

My Dh is OK, but I try to keep him occupied so he doesn't have any time for DIY. He is crap at it, but thinks he is good.

Mine isn't bad at all, and dd1 will tell him if the clothes don't match, but it took a few years training...

Here's the bit where we're so different. dh will prepare his own breakfast before sitting the two hungry kids down for their, whereas I will get them eating and settled before grabbing mine; or I will cross my legs and wait for a pee till I've responded to a yelling toddler who needs her nappy changed, or a tired 4 yr old who needs help taking her muddy boots off....dh? He will say 'in a minute, I need a pee'

Actually, I wish I could sort of hybrid us and manage something inbetween...

We saw a man and his 3 small kids in the park this morning: all were wearing stripey pyjamas and crocs, with sweaters over the top, and having a very nice time.

dh said 'hmm, their mother must be away'

I thought 'or asleep'

Oh Elibean mine does that too and it drives me mad. He'll always see to himself first.

If we go out anywhere he'll be sat in the car waiting. I'll ask "have you got the pushchair/ changing bag/ DD's cup/ coats?". No of course he hasn't.

My DP is great at getting DD ready as long as i lay everything out for him, and provide explicit instructions as to what needs doing and when. I try not to be a harpy about it, but i fear I'm turning into my mother as i wander about the house muttering about how it would be faster if i just did it myself. I don't think he's ever managed to get the changing bag, buggy AND DD ready in one go though, i tend to do the bulk of it while he wrangles DD.

Oh, and i get my Dad round for the DIY, DP can't be trusted with powertools

Here is a run-down of what happens in my house.

On the days that DH works, I...
Get up with the kids at six,
Make hot choc
Do reading or writing or counting play with kids
Complete reading diary
Practise music (recorder or keyboard) or play schools
Do lunchboxes
Get DH tea and kick him out of bed
Get uniforms and my clothes ironed
Do breakfast
Get showed and dressed
Get kids all dressed for school
Empty dishwasher
Tidy breakfast things away
General tidy before dropping kids at school

On the days that I work, I...
Get up with the kids at six,
Make hot choc
Do reading or writing or counting play with kids
Complete reading diary
Practise music (recorder or keyboard) or play schools
Do lunchboxes
Get DH tea and remind him I am going to work today
10 minutes later open the curtains in the bedroom to wake him up
Get my clothes ironed just to have DH nip into the shower just before I'm going in. Grrrr (kids left to their own devices at this stage as DH can't do anything without showering first)
Get hacked off while Dh asking me all sorts of crap questions like, where are DS1's socks? (Er, in his sock drawer perhaps???)Where are DSs clean clothes (in his wardrobe perhaps?)FFS
Kids left to their own devices again while DH makes himself a hot breakfast (before kids have had any, despite been up an hour earlier than him).
Get even more hacked off while he barks orders at them to eat their breakfast because he realises they are running late.
Spends 10 minutes strumming the guitar while I rant, 'Right that's it, I'm outta here...kisses.'
I'm not sure they get to school the 2 days I'm at work.

I have taken to writing him a list of to-do things to make sure all the school things get done properly.

Mine gets the boys up dressed and fed every morning (when he's actually in the country that is - he works abroad a fair bit) as I have to work from 7am. Which in theory means that I get to finish early enough to deal with after school activities/homework etc at the other end of the day.

My DP's nickname is Faffity McFaffFaff. He'll do it but has no sense of urgency WHATSOEVER...