Am I the worst mum in the world????

[Nickinha]

My dd (22mth) refuses to eat any meals but goes to the cupboard and helps herself to sausages and bread. She screams and performs if I dont give it to her. I have tried hiding it and saying there is none - she just goes mad and wont eat her meal anyway so I figure rather than her go hungry at least she eats the sausage and bread. The problem is that this is EVERY day and it bothers me when she does not eat a proper meal at all over the whole weekend. The school says she eats fine but I cant remember her eating a proper meal with me.... It makes me feel like a terrible mother - it is my responsiblity to make sure she eats properly after all.... any advice out there?

I would maybe tackle the issue of eating at meal times and not getting to raid the cupboards. Once thats a bit more controled then you could experiment with other foods.

Her diet sounds fine especially if she is eating well at nursery. Find out what she likes at nursery and try it at home. K

Keep portions small and meals relaxed, kids don't eat well under pressure. ( You wouldn't want to eat a meal during a job interveiw).
Maybe try to sit down with her for dinner if you don't already or at least get the older daughters to eat with her.
I wouldn't spend time playing games it can create other problems anyway, but time eating together is well spent healthier for you as well.

Offer food that will appeal cheese sandwiches, carrot sticks, apple slices, cold meat. They may seem like snack food but much easier for a 22mth old to handle than a trad meat and 2 veg type meal. Pizza and chicken nuggets are fine also and doesn't mean your a bad mum either .

Lets face it she is not malnourished and sausage sandwiches will give way to something else eventually. Don't let meals become a battle you will never win .

Good morning support group Ha ha ha - Bad news Thomcat :-( It did not work. She ate all the sausage and left the veg. When I tried to pretend I was surprised it was gone she told me NO! Then again, when I got home yesterday she was already half way through a bread roll... Arrggg. Good news is that this morning I removed all sausage and bread from her eyesight. Here's to hoping hunger really is the best chef....

oh GUTTED it dodn't work.
I suppose you don't want to hear that it was that very game that got a haddock fish cake and a load of veg down my monkey do you!

Well done for trying baes and good luck, keep us posted.
I've added this thread to the threads I'm 'watching'!

DS is a bit older but my 'bad parent' game for getting him to eat has been 'aha, I'm Mr Plod and you're in prison, and naughty prisoners are allowed NO FOOD so don't eat that!'
Got a full healthy breakfast, lunch and tea down 3 over-excited threenagers whilst camping last summer with that one

Thanks Thomcat, you keep me motivated - I WILL OVERCOME THIS. Skribble came up with good idea about feeding her the same as school but they cook portuguese food which I dont have a clue how to do... I just keep scanning all the threads as well for food ideas for my little angel face.

Nickinha - is she a bit over-tired by the time she comes home from nursery, and this is all about fractious-ing about for attention, rather than a food issue? 7pm is quite late for a 22 month old to be eating - and if you're busy with evening chores...
I went through this with DS, too, and we didn't solve it until I actually found a way to give him some undivided quality time befoe I did anything else. Freezer food, or stuff prepared the night before for the adults and teenagers each evening? More delegation?

Thank you for your valuable input Blu, I wonder if you are not 100% correct. Maybe I should fee her at 7 (thats when I get home with her) EVERY night... bit of routine, rather than when I get a minute... Maybe I should spend that first half hour with no TV or radio or cooking or anything. Just me and her. Undivided attention where she eats and we play a bit. Guess the older ones will be alright if food was not on the table promptly at 8. Delegation has been tried which led to things not getting done, me getting uptight, their father saying I am always moaning... and so it goes, sometimes just better to do it all yourself and keep the peace...

I honestly think it's worth a try. Either have something that you made the night before to give her, or involve her in making it - whisking omlettes is a big hit in our house! Anything but have to spend ages with your attention elsewhere.
And apart from moaning about your moaning, dad is....making his contribution to world peace through his expert analysis of the news from his position embedded on the sofa? getting his children to take turns helping hiom prepare dinner for the rest of you? Hmmm!

Bwahahahaha @ you Blu! You just described my husband to a T - exept the part about the kids pitching in. He is rather happy to see them all content in front of the playstation - it really seems to warm his heart. Reminds me of the day I got out of hospital after having dd, we got home, everyone went to sit at the dinner table - looked at me and asked what we eating!!! I just got up (in pain from emergency C-section) and cooked! How stupid can we be!

wise words from the wonderful Blu.

You know what Nickinha, ds is now 5 and from the age of 15 months till he started school he was the most fussiest eater ever. He would happily eat chips and marmalade sandwiches and pretty much nothing else. He would always eat a good breakfast though, wetabix or readybrek but no matter what I put on his plate he was really fussy. He'd havre the occassional stage where he would eat bananas or another fruit but he ate no veg at all. I wasted lots of diffrent foods putting it on his plate and he wouldn't even try it let alone eat it. He was an excellent eater as a baby too. So as the years went on I stressed about it. As he got to about 3 if he didn't eat his dinner I stopped replacing it with cereal I just put the dinner away and if he wanted it later he had it if he didn't he could have a banana and that was it. But now he is at school he eats school dinners and packed lunch is on a Wednesday as a treat. He eats all kinds of fruit now and most veg and this is from a boy who wouldn't even smell a grape let alone eat one!!! It is hard to know what to suggest get her to be involved with you as much as is safe in the kitchen if time make the dinners look fun (although a smily face catterpillar made from carrot and peas did nothing for my ds). Just keep putting new things for her to try on her plate and over time they begin to improve. At least she is eating well at nursery.

Thanx Moosh - thats encouraging, knowing there is a light at the end of this tunnel...

LOL @ Martini - heaven on earth for my dd. Sadly though - there is still no change in her eating habit! Everynight same thing -bread and sausage. Working very hard at not letting it get to me. And now another dreaded weekend ahead where she does not even eat a proper lunch..... aaarrgggg

So glad this has become a topic of the day because despite all the good advice I got from so many people during last week, my baby is still not eating anything but..... SAUSAGE!!! breakfast, lunch and supper. There must be something i can do.... please help someone.

maybe you could slice the sauages down the middle and fill it with some veg!

Nickinha, I'm in much the same position with DS. HAve tried all the suggestions, games and others. He ate really well, got poorly for a while then stopped. His diet now consists of breaded chicken strips (I always oven cook, not fry), oven chips, chocolate spread sandwiches, fromage frais, weetabix with fruit puree and biscuits. That's it. Mine is like yours, he'll eat for the child minder but not for me, his dad or his grandparents. He's had checks done and HV is happy he's growing and energetic. I'm hoping I'll get him to do more as he gets older.
One thing I thought was as adults, we wouldn't eat stuff we didn't like but it's expected that baies and toddlers will eat almost anything. I know it's a parents responsibility for good diet habits but you can't force them to eat what they don't want.

Moosh, you've lit the end of my tunnel too.

Apparently I was a very fussy eater as a toddler, and my mum was told by the HV (or whatever they were called then) to give me a banana and a bit of cheese as I would eat them, and stop worrying.
35 years on, I eat anything and everything, usually in vast quantities - so don't panic just yet!

It is such a trial though isn't it! My ds has been driving me round the bend with his 'anri-spoon' campaign and is starting to get fussy about finger foods. Think its a teething thing and vow not to let it get to me this time. Spoke to my brother about it - his ds1 is now 20 years old - he told me of one time he lost it with his baby boy and painted his face with his yoghurt - I laughed so hard as he is such a cool cat! AS said - ds1 is now 20 years old and fighting fit. Oh - my ds loves veggie sausages - Tescos do a great range - one sure way of getting veggies into them! I've introduced the 'dip dip dip' thing - dip the sausages into lentil and carrot puree etc - works with Quorn fillets too - wortha go as variety on the sausages theme?

So this is what she had last night... one yoghurt (sneakily filled with small bits of dried fruit, half a nectarine, a sausage, 2 slices of bread and a few handfuls (hers) of dry corn flakes. Sounds like a lot for a 22mth old, I know, but there was no veggies... HOWEVER, after reading these posts, I guess you guys are right - no need to worry just yet