Things I wish my Health Visitor had said ...

[morningpaper]

(This is a thread for Amanda and any other health visitors out there.)

Things I wish my Health Visitor had said:

"You're doing a really good job!"

"Don't worry too much about the charts."

"Not all babies are interested in solids at six months."

"I think it's great that you continuing to breastfeed past six months."

"You're such a good mum!"

Not all women can breastfeed.

"Just trust your instincts"

"Vegetarianism is fine for babies and children if you've done your research which you clearly have."

i know what ya mean.... my HV only came to my house once and after that a midwife came to cover her cos hv was sick then hv went on hols so i hardly see her.

...hello, I'm your health visitor!
Been waiting for one to contact me since we moved!
Previous HV was fantastic and I know I'll not be so lucky this time.

yes I think your child is autistic

(maybe unfair as that's not her job and she did refer me on).

"I know you must be finding it tough sometimes, having an autistic child and no outside support. What can I do to help make your life a little easier?"

I once (briefly) had an HV who really did say: "Here's my phone number. Call me if you have any problems over the weekend." That was when I was having a lot of feeding diffs with dd but we moved when she was 5 weeks old so I lost that wonderful HV.

When ds was born my hv was fab. Unfortunately she left and the one I have now is pretty rubbish.
At one time ds was a nightmare to go to sleep so I asked her for some advice re controlled crying and other methods. The answer I got - "I cant wave a magic wand you know." Very helpful. As a first time mum all I wanted was some ideas that might improve things. I never expected her to magic a solution!
Its a shame as she should have been my first port of call. Funnily enough I have never seen her since. Something I said?!!

My wonderful HV, Maisie, said: "Isn't he gorgeous?" and "You are doing really well" every time I saw her. Sounds patronising, written down, but it wasn't. She was incredibly supportive and having seen other people's posts on HVs I wish they were all like her.
Complete brick when it came to breastfeeding, couldn't have carried on without her. She once said: "Your mummy is so clever she taught herself to breastfeed" to ds - again, sounds patronising but actually an acknowledgement of the way we'd struggled. Yet I'm sure that had I decided to switch to bottles, she would have been just as supportive.

I wish I'd never met my health visitor. She's a waste of space. She makes me even more grateful for this site.

that the growth charts don't matter, it's your child's individual grown curve that is important and not trying to slot her/him into one of the percentiles ..... drives me mad everytime she mentions it!!!!!!!! and NO, i won't introduce a bottle simply to move my dd onto the pink line on the chart!!!

" Hi, I'm returning your call promptly as you seem concerned that your baby screamed his head off after his vaccines".

(over a month ago and she still hasn't been in touch).

Good thread this.[grin at some of your HVs. Nice to know what people appreciete hearing.

Mandy

Agree with the "enjoy your baby" comment. My lovely midwife said this to me as I was concerned about ds2's weight regain after birth. Made such a difference to me.

Another thing she said to me (during a very difficult time as I wasn't too well in the later stages of pregnancy) was "I've seen this lots of times, please don't worry. I will be perfectly honest with you, if I thought it was something you needed to worry about I wouldn't hesitate to tell you, but it's not. Get lots of lovely rest."

What a lovely woman

My HV was solid gold. She came into the house once and said to the student HV with her, 'Will you look at that boy! Isn't that just what you want to see a happy baby looking like' I was on cloud nine. Afterwards I thought it was very clever psychology to help to give new mums confidence. She was a gem!

Just want to say i didn't have a health visitor. They don't do home visits here except in the cities (but if you live in a city its easy to get to the clinic. silly really).

I would have loved one.

I did break down into tears in the health centre at one point when asking about it. They asked if i was alright and if I wanted to see the doctor.

I have a wonderful hv (2 now, actually, both as good). When they visit the house the first thing they always say is how clean/tidy/nice it's looking. I really appreciate that much more than some comment about "see, you are coping if your house looks like this!". I like the fact that they imply the same thing but without laying it on thick! Mine also spent time making me realise that ds isn't just a very good boy sent to us by some higher being, but that we've had some input into his development too.

not said but done

I wish when I'd asked HV not to put DH's medical condition on our records and she promised not to, she'd actually done what she promised

destroyed my faith in HVs entirely when she retired 3 months later and next HV's opening sentence was 'and how is your DH doing now'

that was 3 years and 1 child ago

It took me ages to 'click' with health visitor. she is quite old and seemed a different genration with child care views. but fairly recntly, when i hit a crisis with late PND, she really came thro for me, she even visted me day before chirstmas eve for hours, when she must of been soooo busy. she said positive things about me and my children, and pointed out my habit of putting myself down, and told me how good i was really. so very helpful and moral boosting.
what i always want to see, is a health care professional having the time for me, and my baby. not saying you have five minutes, or 'oh i have a waiting room full so we'll do that next time' or checking their watch........

my initial hv was fantastic, although no support with bf, in all other areas she was fantastic.... new one - shoot her! She'd be a lot more use!

"How are you feeling"? I had dreadful PND and my HV did not come near, just said "Oh well -you're a HV so you can cope". I was a HV but I'd never been a Mum before and I wasn't coping - with anything!

My new HV though is lovely - came to see me when we moved in and spent ages telling me how lovely DS was and not to worry if I felt I needed advice - just said that it was hard to be rational and objective when it's your own child. Said to ring even if I thought my query was basic. Lovely woman.

Mandy

'Hang on, you've just burst into tears and bellowed I CAN'T COPE - stop shoving your baby into the buggy, sit down, and I'll stop and talk to you as soon as I can'.

'She looks absolutely fine, and I can't honestly see why we should worry about her weight loss.'

'Don't bother about the baby clinic, it honestly is a waste of time.'