Is it a boy thing or a second child thing?

[MummaDaisy]

A lot of people say boys are crazier but I’m wondering what everyone’s experiences are. My daughter who is 32 months has always been so so chill, as a baby, as a toddler she’s great, don’t get me wrong she tantrums at times but it’s pretty quick to get over.

my son however, he’s a completely different story. He’s 14 months now and I suppose as a baby he was similar to her but ever since he could move- he never stopped. He was rolling over constantly, he took a while to crawl and as a result was quite clingy but again as soon as he could he was crawling at a crazy speed and then literally a month later he started walking and again it wasn’t like little steps he was trying to run from the start- it’s quite scary. He’s so active doesn’t stop running around, climbing things, jumping over me.

Now when I mention this to people they say oh boys are like that and I’m thinking maybe it’s because he’s a second child and has someone to watch to learn these things like crawling, walking and talking. But I don’t know why he likes to climb things and jump over us - my daughter doesn’t really do things like this and she listened If we simply say no.

Basically I’m just wondering for those who have two children what your experiences were.

I guess also I want him to stay active and explore but sometimes he does dangerous things and I’m wondering what the best way to teach them not to do that is, I’m so out of my depth with him- my daughter would just listen to us if we said no- he laughs and continues 😬

My Dd was an only child in our house, her half brother is much older and she has never lived with him. She never crawled, she went straight to walking at 11 months and from that moment on she climbed wherever she could. Rather than stop her we were right behind her making sure she moved and climbed safely, so she became confident. I don't know if it's still on the go but we found Tumble Tots brilliant for this, she went from about 12 months to 7 years old if I remember , and it was brilliant for teaching safe movement

I had the exact same “dynamic” with my 2 kids @MummaDaisyexcept they are both girls! My youngest was an escape artist from the moment she could move and she’s given us our fair share of grey hair over the years…. Now she’s being assessed for ADHD. She’s 11.

Not a second child thing, generally there is a completely different energy to boys than girls!!
Have plenty of friends with boys and girls (mixture of which is older and younger) and the boys are just more lively, energetic, on the go!!

Elder boy, younger girl. I'd call that a second child thing - they see the elder sibling doing things and they want to NOW.

Thinks it is random. Mine are boys, first was chaos, second was chill

I had a girl and then a boy - they were different in the womb!! I’d wait to feel my daughter move before going to sleep, with my son I was waiting for him to stop!!! He was much more active, but never a climber or too crazy. He’s now 19 & loves his rugby, so I’d say channel that energy into sport as soon as you can!
but I agree with others, they’re all different, both sexes can be crazy or calm!!

Yes. My boy was first and he had two speeds: full run or full stop. In fact he’s 23 now and cannot sit still. He was a good sleeper though as a baby.
My DD was a fussy baby but her energy levels are much lower. She could sit and draw for hours. She needs a good nine hours of sleep at night and hates mornings.

I have two boys. First one didn’t sleep and fussed a lot, constantly on the move.
second DS was a super chilled baby / toddler.
My eldest is now a teen & very chilled, youngest more busy ! 😁

My DS1 (oldest) and DD2 (third) were like that as babies, once they could move, they just wanted to move, both were running quite early. I have a video of DD2 at about 10 months just spinning in circles, at the time it just seemed like she was doing it because she could. DS1 was the toddler trying to climb everything at the park. Now many years on, they're both fairly relaxed, happy to sit around and read or similar.

My DD1 and DS2 were very chill as babies. At 14 months, my DS2 (youngest) would just plop down and just refuse any encouragement to walk. Now they both calm down when they've had a long day by dancing around the house or, for DS2, going for a walk.

I have a 6 yo girl and a 14mo boy and their personalities are so so different but they have also had very different early life experiences.

My daughter was an exceptionally unsettled baby with severe silent reflux and multiple food allergies, born during the pandemic and lockdowns. She is also a very cautious child, she doesn't like to show her hand unless she is confident in her ability. Nearly every skill she has learnt since being about 4 months old she might have done something once but then refused to do it until she could properly do it and then started doing it like a pro. This is a lot like myself too, in fairness.

My son is very sociable and engaging with others, he is constantly trying to make eye contact with others. He has been trying to walk since he was 2 months old, he crawled at 4 and a half months. He will repeatedly do something trying to do it better and master the skill. He is more confident and much more of the "hope for the best and see how things work out" sort of mentality that my partner has.

Slightly amusingly... I have a sister much like my partner and son and my partner has a brother much like myself and daughter.

normal boy stuff.

Honestly I think it is mostly just temperament, with a bit of second child copycat on top. Mine is three now and was a climber from the start, up the bookcase, on the kitchen chairs, anywhere with a bit of height. The thing that helped most at your son's age was accepting that 'no' on its own just did not land yet. At 14 months he hears the tone and thinks it is a game, which is exactly why he laughs.

What worked for us was making the room as boring-safe as we could, stair gate, furniture fixed to the wall, and then redirecting him to something he was allowed to climb, like a pile of cushions on the floor. Same short words every time, then move him straight to the safe thing. It felt like I was saying it a hundred times a day, but it did sink in over a few weeks.

One thing I learned from the special needs side of our family life is to look at what he is getting out of it. Usually it is movement or a big reaction, so if I gave him a safe way to get that first, a run around outside or a crash onto the sofa cushions, the dangerous stuff happened a lot less. He will probably stay busy, mine still is, but it does get easier once they understand a bit more.

He sounds the a completely normal baby. Every child develops differently, at their own speed, and has their own personality. Gender has nothing to do with it.

Everyone I know who had a chill first baby has found the second one more challenging, it doesn't seem to be related to the sex of the children.

I have multiple boys and multiple girls. It's not a sex thing, it's a personality thing. Some are more chill than others. Some girls are more feisty than one of the boys, who is a very gentle soul.

Both my DDs were so easy. The sit at a table and colour in type kids until they reached 12/13 then they turned into snarly horrors who took great pleasure in informing me why everything I did was wrong. Thankfully they are both wonderful adults.

My son was an extremely hard toddler to the point I lived in joggers /leggings, trainers and carried everything in a backpack so i had both hands free to carry him screaming if needed or run after him if he took off. He started to get easier around the age of 6. I’m really hoping the teen years will be easier with him. I feel I deserve it!

My two sons were more active and lively than my daughter as toddlers. But as teenagers, my DD is very active (plays sport, goes to the gym, always on the go) while one of my sons has become a slug who lazes around in bed all day. The other son is in between.

My first (a girl) was similar to how you describe your daughter. My second (a girl) was similar to how you describe your son. My third (a boy) was the most chilled of the three. All kids are different!

I agree with everyone else, I don’t think it’s a boy thing or a second child thing. It’s a different personalities thing.

He sounds like my eldest, and your daughter sounds like my second - both of mine are girls.

I’d say more second child than boy thing, we got an interesting shock after a very chilled first son😅

Ps once went to a birthday party and all the mums were laughing at how obviously shocked I was at how crazy some of the girls were, they said bet you thought only boys acted like that! in fairness the whole party was a lesson in pandemonium 😅

Another vote for "all children are different". I have an older DD and a younger DS and their activity levels are very similar. In fact I'd say DS is calmer, more even tempered and more affectionate than DD.

I had a girl first and then boy 2 years later, dd slept through at 5 weeks old whereas ds was much older, he was walking by 10 months and climbing on everything (window sills, trying to climb over the baby gate)
He was much more chilled out growing up though, rarely had a tantrum or bad mood whereas dd was one of those who’d throw herself around the floor whilst going bright red 🤣 can laugh now but it was hard work at the time.

I have a boy and twin girls. I have one wild child, hint: not my boy.

It's a personality thing.