Six year old using bad language

[mortifiedd]

We’ve had the F word used four times this holiday. Have never heard it before. First time was upset and explained it was not a nice word but this has had no effect.

Some suggestions are to ignore it but it doesn’t seem to be being used for shock purposes but quite casually, which makes it so much worse. I’m really upset by it to be honest as it has happened too many times to make me think he’s just learned it.

You don’t always need to come
down on them as such but you can apply consequences.

Apply the same ones you do for any bad behaviour. You’ve asked him not to do this so if he does it then x is the consequence.

You can apply natural ones like missing clubs or play dates or not going to the park where there’s public - all explained as he’s not ready yet as he can’t control how he speaks appropriately.

I'm a huge fan of the approach “when you do X you can do Y” and wait for them to self regulate to do X. I work it the same with natural consequences “when you stop using the F word youll
be able to have friends round to play”

The F word from a 6 year old, just tell him not to use it and repeat every time he does, and tell him it's not acceptable language to you, whatever anyone else does. He's old enough to respect rules about bad language. Don't pussy foot around it tell him straight.

I told him firmly the first time that was not a nice word and we don’t use it. The other times I have gone in stronger, removed privileges and really really lost it but it still keeps happening so those things aren’t working. Very difficult. The play date thing may happen naturally anyway if he is dropping the f word regularly

This may or may not work, depending on your child and family set-up, but I'd consider starting to use a silly word yourself at the same frequency as he uses his swear word(s).

If you keep saying e.g. "Oh, the sausaging washing machine doesn't seem to be working" and similar, it might help to get the message through to him that it just sounds stupid - and even embarrassing if his friends might hear you, which could give you some leverage; or at best, if he copies you, at least he's only saying 'sausage', 'banana' or whatever instead of an offensive word.

He’s trying it out and there need to be negative consequences for it if he’s continuing to use it having been told not to.

Well why does he say he does it? I feel like people on here don’t actually have conversations with their kids sometimes

Why do any of us say anything? It’s generally as an expression of displeasure or annoyance. That doesn’t make it OK.

But it does look like you came on just to be insulting.

No mate. My question is why does he say he swears when he knows he’s not allowed to…..try and just….ask him……does he forget? Does he get too angry? Does he not care?

There’s loads of books out there on how to talk to your children if you find it challenging