“just force them out”

[BabyBa]

what do you do when your child gets to an age where they don’t want to come out anymore but equally too young to leave home alone? i get forced them out which i usually do and did do today but the whole day they have been absolutely awfully behaved like literally so horrible that i regret going out. they dont enjoy themselves when out like people say will happen

(under assessment for asd but not sure thats relevant)

So they hate it even when you do fun stuff that incorporates their interests? Can they express why they hate it? The transition, having to get ready/changed, the actual environment (noises, crowds, lights etc.) ?

@gonoodleoodle what consequences, that worked on us back in the 80,s but with my son hes doesnt care, my mother would slap me but you cant do that and id never advocate slapping a child. In wales where we live it against the law. If i take away my sons xbox or phone for a few days, whatever he doesnt care, Ive stopped him going out with friends, so what he doesnt care and will do the same behaviour over and over again. There are zero consequences, its like kids today are not phazed or frightened of nothing. Me and dh have had many conversations about it, yrs ago if your mother took away your fav toy etc you made dam sure you never did it again not to lose said toy. My mother would shoot me a look and that would be good enough. That doesnt work with my child hes like teflon. The only way I can control behaviour is through allowing him to have some part in decision process or using peer related stuff. Like see your friend jack hes not allowed to do this or doesnt behave this way, my son will then comply somewhat. For stuff like dentist etc i tell him the worst case senario like all your teeth will be rotten and kids in school will notice. Kids today are more worried about their peers than parents because their peers have access to them via internet at home. They influence., Dont get me started on phones and internet use because that has been the worst thing they have ever allowed kids on.

they give no reason other than they prefer to stay indoors, this is why i think its an age thing rather than asd as they use to like coming out its only been the last year or so that they hate coming out and in know its normal for kids to start to dislike going out once they get older just normally its a bit older than 9

yeah we spoke about it at home and they didnt want to go out managed to force it when mentioning getting food so they wanted to come but spent the whole time being extremely irritating and annoying because they were annoyed to be forced out

I have a DS9. He would much rather stay home watching / playing screens than go out. But he is 9. He doesn't have a choice if I have to go and do something and DH is working. Remove the screen/ device / incentive at home is usually enough to get them out.

If it was for an activity or things I had planned for their and their siblings benefit and they ruined it with an attitude...there would be consequences - no screens, no treats. I fully support allowing the child who behaved to get a treat on a day out and not the grumpy 9 year old ruining the day.....I've been known to do it once...didn't happen again.

its not about screens as they are not allowed unlimited access anyway, our wifi had issues for 3 weeks and i thought great now they will want to come out and do things now! nope still didnt want to go anywhere

Hmm what reason does he give? DS would play for a bit but after an hour or so would be fed up and take the going out.
Sometimes I am a little harsh but 99% of the time, it works.
Things need to be done. 9 years old is way to young to be left so unfortunately sometimes he has to come shopping etc.
And sometimes I want to go out and not be suck in the house. Sometimes we are allowed to want to do things our children do not.

lol