Am I being unrealistic and comparing my life too much

[redvelvet7]

Hi, i am a mum to a 1 year old and recently found out i am pregnant again. I work 3x10 hr days and my child goes to nursery those days. I look after her the other 4 days of the week pretty much. My partner works long days, has two jobs including weekends and is trying to grow a business to work for himself too, so most of the time it’s just me trying to look after our toddler and failing at getting any time to myself.

I feel like I don’t have time to do anything - organise, clean, buy new clothes for myself, exercise more than a walk. I don’t know what the answer is really, baby already does 3 long days at nursery, do I really want to add more? What’s the answer here? How do I do what I consider to be basic human things? Do I just need to suck it up and get on with it?

family support is limited, in laws live near but they often say they’re too busy to help

You need more childcare. I'd put her in 2 half days for the 2 days that you are home.

Unfortunately you have chosen to get pregnant AGAIN with a man who is not pulling his weight at home. You will need to pay for childcare or suck it up.

I think it’s really common for working mums of young children to not have enough time to do housework or exercise. It does get easier of course as they get older. Could you accept that those things take a back seat for now? The only essentials for housework really are clean loos, sinks and clean kitchen. Could you afford a cleaner? Ideally your OH would be able to help more but if that’s not possible, maybe a cleaner once a fortnight would help you keep on top of things or feel a bit more in control. Clothes buying can be done online in the evenings probably?

My advice would be to exercise with baby, it worked really well for me. There were classes where I could bring my baby along in my area, but if you don’t have these, get a running pram and go for a daily run when you’re with them. Plus online exercise programs to do at home.
House work I neglected (or get a cleaner if it’s an option for you).
I haven’t been out to buy clothes since my boy was born (and he’s over 2 now 😅), I order everything online.