Need help, solidarity, anything with regards to my 10mo sleep

[BessieBye]

So since 7months old, my DS has been waking hourly. He cries out at every wake too and falls back to sleep immediately once reassured. There has been the odd better stretch here & there but nothing consistent. We dropped to 2 naps and have recently reduced the nap lengths. He is a boy that will fall asleep sitting up though as he’s so tired!! He’s nothing like my DD who fought going to sleep.

He will go to sleep fine in his cot initially, he will lie there as I sing a song and rub his back and he then drifts off to sleep. When he wakes he will sit up but when I lie him back down he will go back to sleep.

He has been unwell the last 6 days (cold) but last 2 nights has started to wake hourly. Painkillers are not working and we can’t see any teeth. I can’t believe it is getting WORSE not better - I am honestly at my wits end and not sure how much more I can take.

we have tried the following:

• Spend over £150 on different types of sleeping bags
• Changed nappies
• Adjusted nap times
• Adjusted wake times
• Adjusted bedtimes
• Been to GP and tried reflux medication
• Increased/decreased milk intake
• Increased food intake (he eats full meals 3x a day plus 2 snacks
• At least an hour outdoors each day
• Play time/one on one time
• Lotion every night in case of dry skin/itching
• Calpol/ibuprofen
• Teething gels
• Less/more layers
• Warmer/cooler bedroom
• Cleaned bedroom top to bottom in case dust was irritating him??
• 2 weeks ago moved to his own room, slept great first 3 nights then went bad again.
• Final step - took away the dummy. First 2 nights slept great. Then after 4 days no dummy, he became unwell. Felt truly guilty but didn’t want to turn back. Last night out of desperation I tried the dummy and he spat it out 3 times, so that ship has definitely sailed!!

now 30 min wakes.. I can’t do this!! 😭 have tried co sleeping and he still wakes crying and fussing. I don’t understand! What else am I missing? Where am I going wrong please? I don’t really want to leave him to cry as it feels wrong for me. But anything at all I will listen to!!

have you tried supper? A weetabix with warm milk so it’s filling?

He has dinner quite late with us about 5:30 (has a small bottle at 3:30/4pm). Bedtime is at 7:45 with a bedtime bottle 30 mins before that. Do you think I should still give it a go? He does enjoy his food which I’m pleased about, but has been off solids for a few days with being unwell.

So you moved him into his own room, then you took away his dummy a few days later? Then he's been ill.
I can see how this would lead to unsettled sleep.

Thing is his sleep has been unsettled for almost 4 months now. Only in the last 2 weeks have we made those changes. I have done almost 4 months of hourly wakes - health visitor told me to put him in his own room and a sleep coach told me to ditch the dummy

I also did not know he was going to become unwell or I would’ve never removed the dummy. As I said, I felt guilty and tried to give it back to see if it helped soothe him but he wouldn’t take it. Error on my side yes but I didn’t know. Unfortunately it’s all a guessing game and trial/error. I’m totally at a loss and desperate for sleep. I’m miserable

I have no advice but am sending solidarity 💐sounds truly grim. I still shudder at my memories of sleep deprivation days/years. It’s ok to find it really hard. Hang in there!

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. Sleep deprivation is truly brutal! It sounds like a lot of different things have been going on for your little one in the past few weeks so hopefully it settles. Are you on your own or is your partner able to share the night wakes? That’s the only thing that’s kept me feeling human at times - I’d go to bed early and my partner would sleep on sofa until around 1am so that I would have 4 hours uninterrupted sleep and then I’d take over any night wakes, often then cosleeping so that my partner could get a 6 hour stretch of sleep before getting up for work.

My only advice is get earplugs and a sleeping bag and eye mask to nap in your car whilst he sleeps, if you can, prioritise your sleep above all else. Do you have anyone who could watch him during the day once a week so you could get a good three hour nap for yourself?
either way, solidarity 💐

Yes I do luckily, he is great and my DS will actually settle with my partner unlike my 5yo DD who never and still won’t go to sleep with his help!

however he works shifts, so this week he doesn’t come in til 1am. But last night he put my DD in with me, took DS into her bed with him (double) and I got a stretch of sleep til 5:30. Not sure how we’ll navigate it next week when on early shift as he won’t be able to sit up at night or in the morning! My DD won’t fall asleep til close to 9pm 😮‍💨 it’s much harder navigating this with more than one child lol

My Mum is my saviour and she helps me so much. I managed a 40 minute nap in her spare bed earlier today and felt much better for it - I just wish we could even get down to 2/3 wakes! I’d even be happy doing 2 night feeds but he isn’t interested in milk during the night. I do worry something bothers him but GPs aren’t concerned so what more can I do! X

Solidarity from a mum of two appalling sleepers.

I don’t want to upset you but I’ve got one who didn’t sleep more than an hour at a time from the day she was born until she was 18m old. I don’t know how I did it looking back so you have my sympathies. When she was sick it got worse too, the winter was terrible! I tried everything, warmer, colder, more food, less food, different nappies, different clothes, different sleep bags, sleep consultants, gps, HV. Nothing worked really other than her just getting older. The amount of people that said, have you tried reading a book before bed? Have you tried a bath? Made me want to scream.
a lot of people suggested sleep training but it wasn’t for me really. The fact he does sleep well some nights suggests he can too, I assume you’ve eliminated all possibilities like odd sounds or lights waking him up. I’d suggest slowly lessening the singing and rubbing so it’s less stimulation for him to get back to sleep and see if that helps so he maybe learns to do it himself a bit more or at the very least it’s less effort in the middle of the night from you. Also cosleeping saved my life. She still woke up but went down easier and it was easier for me so I could drift off quicker.

Thanks so much for sharing! I am totally with you with co sleeping, I have tried my hardest to get to at least 4am before I bring him into bed with me, but the last month or so it got earlier & earlier because I’m flat out exhausted! He slept so much better up until 7m, some nights only stirring twice for a quick bum pat. Then 7 months something went horribly wrong! At 9 weeks old he was very poorly and in hospital for 3 weeks, yet he was sleeping 5 hour stretches??? Maybe he just woke up to the world a bit more.

Tried white noise as he is sensitive to any noise.., stirred for hours. Turned it off and done a 3hr stretch! (This was second night in his own room)

I am working towards less input but because he’s been unwell I just kept going with the reassurance for now. My daughter slept with me up til a month ago and she’s 5 🙃