6 month old waking every 45 minutes, I'm breaking

[ConstantDilema]

Help! My 6 month old is waking every 45 minutes overnight and has been since 4 months and I'm nearly at breaking point.
He will only settle back down being fed, any amount of rocking / shushing just ends up in hysterics.
We co sleep and have done since a few weeks old as he's always been a bad sleeper, I think had a lot of reflux.
Is there any hope for us?

That sounds really tough. What’s your schedule like roughly at the moment? Often really frequent waking can be undertiredness.

This is so hard, I'm sorry. Breast fed?

I had a restless sleeper! Carry on co sleeping and do whatever makes life easier. My baby never had a dummy or comforter but she loved feeding to sleep. She now sleeps through but still in my bed (she’s five haha)

My first was exactly the same. You poor thing, you must be exhausted. It did improve but she would go back to being like this whenever she went through a growth spurt or developmental stage. Are you able to sleep in the day time? Give yourself permission to do the absolute bare minimum in the rest of life while this is going on. I wish I had more helpful advice.

My brother was apparently like that, and the only thing that helped was they fortified the milk with porridge. In his case, just a very very hungry baby always even at a young age who couldn't sleep from hunger. (And he is now a perfectly average man with a perfectly average weight.)

My DC was the same and had cows milk protein allergy so couldn’t stay asleep for long due to a sore stomach. It did improve
when I gave up dairy and switched to a cmp friendly formula (I was combi feeding).

My eldest had this phase and in his case he was hungry. We gave him baby rice at at lunch and that sorted it. Is it possible he is hungry?

Have you took the baby to the drs about the reflux, I have it and is very uncomfortable and painful without medication.

My first was exactly like this. It did not get better so at 10 months we sleep trained him. He slept through from the second night and has done ever since (he’s 4 now).

45 mins is about one sleep cycle so he’s basically waking and cannot get himself back to sleep because his body expects to be fed to sleep. You need to change the sleep association - ideally to something he can do to self soothe himself back. We went cold turkey at 10 months and he cried for about 10-15 mins to fall asleep first night and then after that it’s like his body clicked into “oh, I can fall asleep myself” and he was the happiest sleeper after that. Just sharing as sleep training isn’t always traumatic!

Absolutely dont give baby rice especially not in their bottle. Whats their usual schedule? Sounds like theyre undertired for the night so I’d be looking at reducing day sleep and later bedtime.

He wakes about 6.30, then tends to have 3 or 4 45 minute naps every 2.5-3 hours during the day. I think he'd do better with a longer nap but always wakes after 45 minutes unless we are in the car and it is moving!

Have you started weaning yet? If not, maybe weaning might help, with the extra calories in the day to help him feel more satisfied at night.
If you have started weaning, maybe something might be upsetting his stomach? Or making his reflux worse?

I'm inclined to think it's sleep cycles rather than hunger because he'll happily go 3-4 hours in the. daytime without a feed. I've tried feeding more often during the day to see if it helped to no difference.
He's EBF never took a bottle and just spits a dummy out every time I try!
I was hoping not to sleep train but it's sounding like that's the route we may need.

I don't have any advice, other than get a double mattress on the floor and lock in for the long haul, because let's face it if anyone had the answer to this they would be God.

Huge empathy, I had the same, and it did nearly break me, but it did get better, and they are the most epic human now as a reward! Hang in there, do what you need to do, it won't be forever.

I've been several times since he was constantly sick, getting better as we wean but just keep getting told he'll grow out of it. I'm sure he has some though as you can here him gurgling on it after a nap:(

Sending some support. My eldest was like this. I stopped giving too much milk overnight as it was making it worse due to reflux etc. Upped daytime milk so I knew he was getting enough. It didn't improve the waking for a while but it stopped the hysteria cycle we would end up in of wanting milk, then not going back to sleep because of reflux. Eventually he would then go through 2-3 sleep cycles before waking up.

Its brutal and hard but it does pass. DS is now 9 and although still not the best sleeper, outgrew the constant waking eventually.......

That sounds like he’s getting around 11 hours of wake time per day, and you’re expecting 13 hours of sleep between night sleep and naps, on a four nap day and less on a three nap day. And around a 7:30 bedtime? Your baby may well be lower sleep needs than that and that’s what is causing the waking, because they just aren’t tired enough to stay asleep without help. What would happen if you pushed every wake window by 15-30 minutes and tired a later bedtime? An 11 hour overnight stint is a long expectation for a lot of babies. Many babies can only consolidate a 9-10 hour night until much older, and they’re on one or no naps. If you’re on TikTok or Instagram , I’d really recommend Hannah at It Takes A Village Baby Sleep. She’s a sleep consultant provides a lot of free advice and has some of the highest qualifications in infant sleep (and was trained by Lyndsey Hookway). She doesn’t promote any kind of unresponsive sleep training if that’s not your thing.

This sounds so tough!
Have you tried sorting out the reflux? With dd2 dairy (via my breast milk) definitely triggered it. She was also a very clingy baby!

I would avoid feeding to sleep as they just wake up after a sleep cycle looking for the same way of getting back to sleep. You can do a gentle phased approach. Introduce a comforter whilst feeding, in the pram etc to build attachment. Then when feeding to sleep add in shushing and patting bottom. They will start associating shushing, patting and holding the comforter with going to sleep.

After a week or so, gradually start pulling the boob out when they are just about asleep and continue shush patting. Over time you should be able to do less feeding and more shush patting till eventually you put them in the cot awake after a feed, burp, and shush pat to sleep. Takes patience and perseverance but hopefully if they've had a good burp and are going down without feeding to sleep they will sleep for longer xx

I'd try a later bedtime like 8.30/9, especially on 4 nap days, as that's up to 3 hours of naps which is very high. If he's lower sleep needs then he probably only needs 9-10 hours overnight plus 3 hours naps.

Support from me. this is really hard. It's brutal in fact. I have been here with my youngest. It lasted a long time but it did improve eventually. You will get through it. He is six now and he's still not the best sleeper but our lives are so much better now than they were. We tried all the advice here and none of it helped (I'm saying this because I suspect you will already have tired most of it too) but you will get through it. You'll look back and wonder how you did it, but you will do it.

Co sleeping saved us when mine did this as babies. Some babies just can’t sleep independently at this age.

I had similar and found she slept more consistently if I went out with her in the day. I wonder if that might be worth trying? Load him into the buggy and get out for at least an hour, in fresh air and daylight. Other than that she did also have a dummy (her dad gave her it as she was using me as one rather than feeding) which might be another thing to try but they are not the first thing to try.

Sleep training was the best parenting decision I ever made. If they learn to fall asleep by themselves they can join the sleep cycles together themselves.

The Ferber book is excellent. I also read Lucy Wolfe which was interesting.. but concludes with if her gradual retreat method fails then use Ferber.

A lot of people get very upset about sleep training that makes babies upset. However I will say that for my DS the first night of sleep training there was 20 mins of crying (not in one go… that was the whole duration with me going in and comforting every few minutes). 10 mins the next night, and after that no tears. And I’d given him the gift of being able to stay asleep and not being perpetually tired and upset (which had caused more crying than the sleep training).

I tried to do this with a friend who was evangelical about it for her boys. I actually had my neighbour (5 doors down) stop me in the street to say he had heard her screaming all night and asked did I need help! Was mortified, tired and felt incredibly guilty. Never did it again so prob not a great representative of it, but isn't it meant to release tons of stress hormones into the developing brain?
ETA I just googled and apparently it has all been studied and debunked since I had mine! Ignore my worries!

Start weaning! It could be a mixture of various things but could just be hungry and whilst breastmilk is brilliant, a baby gets to a stage where they need more filling food!