How can I help my shy 17 year old make friends?

[ForBlueFox]

my daughter who’s 17 is really struggling with friendships , she is in sixth form and is only close with one girl really who can be a bit controlling and is not the nicest person to be around. At work she works at a large tourist attraction, she hasn’t clicked with anyone and hasn’t enjoyed it as much as I thought she would, her contract is almost over. She used to dance but again it was full of bitchy girls who didn’t involve my daughter. I feel bad she’s a nice girl but can be shy
what could she do

Seems like the common theme here is her and not others

Is she shy
Nervous
Obnoxious
Uninterested

Maybe she needs to do some work on her self and how she communicates and figures out what her hobbies are and then friends will find her

It's rough out there and people are very upright and cagey if they think someone's a bit odd

What is she in to??

My teen is an absolute weirdo but has embraced it and has found her tribe

I would echo the first response - she needs to work on her communication skills. If she is literally silent as she is so shy, she will be hard work for anyone to talk too. She may be lovely, but nobody will see if she’s silent and doesn’t express herself at all.

Can you work on her confidence without the pressure of the end result being new friends? There must be a group locally to focus on talking or just people getting together who are lonelier etc? I was petrified of doing presentations so signed up for my local toast masters where other people get together and present to each other. Clearly not suggesting this, but demonstrating there are groups for all sorts - and that really helped me. I am still scared doing it but I know now it’s ok and have some good tools to stop me being a nervous mess.

Good luck and hope she finds her group of people - they will be out there!

I'm just wondering, is this a you 'problem' or is it something upsetting your daughter? Because I totally understand why it would upset you but if your daughter just doesn't click with anyone and that's fine for her, then maybe you just have to let it be?

from someone with a 17 year old daughter myself, it's a really tricky one. You can't engineer their friendships at this age (like we would organise play dates etc to help when they were little) and they just have to learn the hard way that some people aren't that nice. Her one friend might seem like that to you, but if your daughter is ok with it then you just have to let it be.

Also, they will soon be off to uni or work and new horizons are on the way, they will find themselves and good friends eventually, try not to worry.