Supporting my five-year-old with bedtime emotions after new baby arrives

[SweatpeaFlower]

Just had my second baby. DD is 5.5 and very confident, outgoing and strong willed! Over the summer we have experienced big emotions at bed time (mostly) and this has now rolled over into the new school year. DS was born last week and so I was wasn’t there for her first day of school but was FaceTiming and she came to see me in the hospital. I’m very aware that there has been lots of change for her and this is why we’re seeing these behaviors but I just don’t know how to help her. One bedtime could be great but the next night horrendous. She refuses to read her school book although can read, and this is usually where the meltdowns begin.

Has anyone been through anything similar? How did you support? Did it last or was it a phase. Just to note she is really lovely with her baby brother and so kind.

thanks x

Maybe don’t do her school reading at bedtime. My DS is the same age (also had a new baby recently). I do my sons either before or just after dinner then we play, watch tv, bathtime then at bedtime I read to him to he can switch off and enjoy it. Reading out loud is a lot for them at 5 especially when they are tired, even if they are a strong reader. My son then listens to his tonie box with his nightlight until he is read to fall asleep. Sometimes he’s asleep in 10 minutes and sometimes in a hour, I just leave him to do what best for him as long as he’s not messing around

This sounds pretty normal for the transition back to school even if there wasn’t a new baby brother in the mix. It’s a lot and she’ll be tired and you all are tired and overwhelmed too.

I would just lower your expectations and keep on going. Who cares if she doesn’t read? Not reading before bed for a few weeks is not going to make a bit of difference. Make sure you and your partner are both doing bedtime with her. So she’s not always second fiddle to the baby, but gets someone’s undivided attention each night. Take her out to do fun things solo (this will be more your partner), so she’s not always stuck doing baby things. And just keep going. It will settle down.

At bedtime spend extra time snuggling and talking to your dc so she gets some alone time with you before she goes off to sleep even if it does take you longer to get her to bed. Exhausting but helps them feel safe and secure during these transitions.

Bedtime is far too late to be doing homework. Not many adults would be choosing to do work just before going to sleep.

Thank you all.

just to be clear we’re not trying to get her to read just before bedtime. Today, I tried once we were home, had some snack and a play. She just doesn’t want to read. I’ve spoken with her teacher and she’s really understanding.