Myself and DD moved from London a few months ago, my ex is useless, not long before we moved he told me he didn't really want to be a dad to her and he's happy with an ad hoc relationship. We moved and he didn't find out that we moved until a few weeks ago when he asked to visit and I told him we are 100 miles away now. He wasn't bothered, said hes happy to see DD when we were next in London. On Friday we drove down, plan was to stay at my parents Friday night, then DD was to see her pgm Saturday daytime - my ex got wind of out visit and asked if he could see DD on Sunday I said "yes" 11.30-3.30 as we were driving back at 4.30, he hasn't seen her for months.
I didn't tell DD as he is so inconsistent. Anyway he was 40 mins late, DD was happy enough to see him and off they went.
He dropped her back to me at 3.05 (I was waiting at parents) as soon as he left DD burst into tears I asked her what happened, and she told me that dads gf was there and she didn't want to see her and just wanted to see dad and dad was always on his phone.
I have spoken to my ex previously about DD wanting to spend time with him alone, it's gone in one ear and out the other especially as he sees her so little and his gf has children of her own that he spends time with, my DD has often felt very left out.
Dads gf doesn't have room for my DD to sleep over and dad does have his own place but he chooses to live with gf.
I don't want to sound controlling but DD has stated if gf is there next time she's not going and asked for time alone with him.
I broached this with him today and he said "if I want my gf there I will bring her"
My DD is 9 and ADHD and ASD. Ex and gf have been together (on/off) for 18 months
How do I handle this - he's labelling me as controlling