3 month old only contact naps and co-sleeps, will this change?

[LadyBird2026]

Hi. I am a FTM & baby is 3 months old and was born 3 weeks early. She is a sleepy baby & will nap every couple of hours & sleeps through the night with 2/3 dream feeds (excl BF) but only when on me. We co sleep & contact nap. The minute I transfer her to any other environment she wakes up immediately. I’m worried that we won’t be able to establish a nap routine in her cot as she gets to 6 months. Could it change by then? I refuse to let her cry out, don’t agree with it & also would be happy to continue to co sleep if needed BUT wondered if anyone has any tips or similar experiences they can share that might have helped in this situation.

Thank you!!

Whist I do think that this is fairly normal for some babies I’d also query whether your DD has a Tongue Tie as my DC1 was exactly like this and it turned out to be TT.

Im also not a fan of CIO. Have you come across the No Cry Nap Solution?

I remember the week my DS turned 12 weeks. It was a dark, dark time. The newborn excitement had worn off and instead I felt an exhaustion I could never really explain and I had exactly the same worries. All contact naps, cosleeping, BF, I was so overwhelmed.

Around 6 months we moved DS to his own room. I also had DH do the bedtime routine and also handle the first wake up as I realized that before 2am he wasn't hungry and he was sucking for comfort. DS didn't like it and cried but he was being cuddled by a loving parent so we persevered. By night no. 5 or 6, we were down to only one wake up around 5am!

Bear in mind, it all went to shit once the first tooth came and sleep was VERY up and down until 18-20 months. DS slept well as long as he was not teething or sick....which was like 50% of the time, if not more.

Both of mine at 3 months were doing exactly as you described.
First child (now 4) went into his cot for the majority of the time from about 8 months and slept through the night from 17 months and is still a great sleeper now and never comes in my bed. Would nap in his cot from about 11 months. Last contact nap was probably about 5/6 months but we did pram/car in between.

second child (13 months) I’ve just bought a floor bed for because she still wouldn’t nap or sleep in her cot so admitted defeat. She does the first half of the night by herself and I sleep with her the second half. Naps are still mostly in the pram/car but she has hated contact naps since about 7 months, too active only like being held if she’s being fed.

Thank you! We did have her checked and she scored 12/14 as not being tongue tied, but did struggle latching early on.

Thank you - really good to know. I’m hoping from
6 months she’ll be less reliant on the contact too! Oh yes I am very ready for it all to be thrown out as soon as we hit teething 🥹

Thank you! She is very independent in the sense of happy on her own in bouncer / play mat etc so hoping that’s a sign that she will eventually be OK away from me. Hope the co sleeping goes OK for you! Is the floor bed in babies room? What is that setup like?

That’s good. Whilst, like I say it can be normal behaviour, there are still some things you can do to encourage her to nap elsewhere.

When you do feed her, are you feeding from both breasts? If so, could you add in some breast compressions? I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong at all but getting a few extra calories in her during the day might help

When you’re transferring her, is it into a Mose’s Basket? You could try using a t-shirt DH has worn as the sheet. We’re often tempted to make sure everything for them is super clean but actually babies rely heaving on scent and using a t-shirt DH has worn will give the bassinet a reassuring smell.

How often are you offering a feed during the day?

At 3 months she's not anywhere near ready for a "routine". Things change massively between 3 and 6 months - it's like the difference between 30 and 60 to an adult.

DD coslept at least part of the night until she was about 3.5 (from 2 - 3.5 she started in her own bed then crawled in with us at 3am.)

She's a perfectly happy, healthy, well adjusted and not in the least bit clingy 6 yo now. I kind of miss those sleepy 3am cuddles now!

I really wouldn't worry about it.

Yes in her room. She’s wild and could go from fast asleep to crawling in 2 seconds flat and my bed is really high so it just wasn’t safe anymore and she hates the cot so I took the leap and best thing I done. Never would have guessed in a million years I would have done it, my first was in a cot until he was almost 3! Just shows how different they all are. Her room is pretty minimal because we have a separate playroom and the wardrobe are build in so it’s just her changing table and bookshelf and rocking chair and the first 2 are mounted to the wall. But it’s been a game changer for us and also gave my DH his bed back 😅

Good to hear !!

My eldest was like this too. I think she moved to napping and sleeping on her own in a Moses basket near me around 4 months. I would try putting her down on her own every so often to check if she was ok with it.

No I don’t normally feed from both as she seems fine with one, so could definitely give this a go & the t shirt or something familiar smelling. It’s hard because she really relies on her naps and if I put her down to trial it and it fails it’s then much harder. She feeds at min every 2 hours but I feed her when she shows signs of hunger, so no strict routine.

Ok so feeding from one breast, or block feeding is something that’s advised when you want to reduce your supply.

I would start to feed from both breasts. If she’s sleepy after the first side you could try some of these tips for sleepy babies

This is really normal. With my youngest, by around 7-8 months I could get him to nap in the pram, or I could feed him to sleep and leave the room. He was co-sleeping at night for a lot longer. Hang in there!

Yeah I think it’s really normal too but it probably won’t hurt to try and do a few tweaks to get some extra calories into her during the day