Would you persevere with potty training or stop and try again later?

[Justamuma]

We started potty training our 2.5yo son over the bank holiday weekend and I’m now really unsure whether to persevere or whether he’s just not ready.

We did three days mainly at home. He absolutely understands what the potty/toilet is for and will happily do a big wee when we take him, but he very rarely initiates himself. He can hold for ages - I left him for two hours at one point to see if he’d recognise the sensation and ask to go, but he didn’t. He either waits until we prompt him or eventually has an accident. He also doesn’t seem particularly bothered by wet trousers.

We’ve had a couple of encouraging moments. He copied a toy using the potty and said “now me”, then sat down and did a big wee. He also did one completely self-initiated poo on the potty after we’d put it near his usual pooing spot and left him to it.
Today was his first day at my mum’s. He had two accidents but otherwise did his wees on the toilet when she prompted him. So he can stay dry with adult prompting, but doesn’t seem to
recognise/communicate the need himself yet.

Tonight, though, he’s started shouting NO whenever I mention the potty and is running around holding his bottom, which makes me think he needs a poo and is possibly withholding. I really don’t want this to turn into a battle or make him frightened to wee/poo.

He’s due at nursery tomorrow and Thursday. They can obviously prompt him, but I’m torn between:
A) Keep going, accept that he needs prompting for now and hope the awareness/self-initiation develops over the next few weeks.

B) Take the resistance/limited awareness as a sign that we’ve started too early, put him back in nappies and try again in a couple of months.

For those who’ve potty trained a child who could use the toilet when prompted but didn’t recognise the need themselves initially, did the awareness eventually develop while you carried on? How long did it take? Or did you stop and have much more success later?

I’m not bothered about accidents and don’t expect him to be trained in three days - I’m more worried about creating withholding/potty refusal by pushing ahead when he isn’t ready. Would really appreciate experiences!

Mine is a couple of months younger, we have been potty training for ages, we still need to prompt. Maybe 50% of the time DC says I need a wee wee, the rest of the time I get them on the toilet because we're going somewhere, they're extra wriggly, or they've just had a big drink. FWIW, nursery consider my child potty trained even though they prompt at key points like before and after meals.

It seems like quite a big expectation for them to be promoting themself after only three days?

DD(2.5) is potty trained (just the occasional accident), she'll sometimes (increasingly) go by herself but will mostly need prompting. She's been mostly in pants for months! They get distracted playing

That sounded like a good start - aside from refusal now.
We started when daughter was 2 and 3 months - first 5 days - she was not getting it all - like maybe the odd pee in potty ( by chance) but most on ground. She would sit on potty ( prompted), stand up and then pee (10 seconds later)
We also had to put her in nappy by day 4, when we realised she was withholding.
Day 5 was same as day one , but something clicked day 6
I put her on potty every thirty minutes after that, before increasing to hour. Still put her in odd nappy to poo in - until she built up confidence. By day 10 she was flying- no accidents since

Persevere.

I'd suggest persevering too. Have you tried to look for the 'tells' that your child needs the potty (like wiggling a lot/holding willy etc) and using those as a prompt?

You definitely need to persevere. Mine is 3 now, she potty trained from turning 2 and it was a long time before we didn’t have to prompt regularly. Even now at 3 if there are things she’s really engrossed in we have to remind her to go.

Thanks everyone, with my DD it was 3 days of hell but she pretty much cracked the feeling of 'I need a wee' by then so this is so different! Boys are just a different kettle of fish aren't they...

Keep going. He’s 2.5, old enough to potty train. Boy/girl differences are a myth – all kids are individuals. I’d recommend bare bottomed completely until he’s cracked a day of initiating himself. Any bottoms trigger the muscle memory of wearing a nappy and simply being able to wee without really being aware of it. Bare bottomed also makes it more noticeable/uncomfortable to have wet yourself. Only put on loose joggers, with no underwear, when he has had a successful day. Then onto underwear after a few days of that. Move back a step when he regresses.

If he’s getting anxious that’s usually a sign that the parent is conveying stress and anxiety about it. You need to act completely unbothered by it, even if you don’t feel that way.

@Didimumwe did three days over the weekend of bare bottom but unfortunately that's not an option from tomorrow as he is back at nursery and we are back at work. They will take him commando with loose trousers on but it doesn't seem to bother him seeing bare bottomed or in trousers, he is happy to continue playing as if nothings happened 😆

Persevere, lots of 2 year olds need prompting. He's only little and it's a learning process.