Can anyone relate to sadness for first child by not having a second

[JennyAuker]

My DS is 6 now and has a happy childhood with myself and his dad.
Unfortunately my childhood was challenging and I lost my parents young. When my son was born I had a breakdown, I was diagnosed with PND but I think it was a long time coming and having a baby was the only time I’d put the brakes on work long enough to think, and everything came tumbling down. I guess during Covid would have been the ‘ideal’ two year age gap for baby 2 but I wasn’t well enough.

Now age 42 my husband and I have tried, not tirelessly but we’ve given things a shot at baby 2 and it’s not happened. I’m in two minds but I felt intense guilt that my son won’t have a sibling, added to which he has no family on my side.

i know practically I’d be rolling a dice with my mental health by having baby 2 but I can’t help feeling sad for my son.

can anyone relate?

I am mentally fine now btw, life’s good and I’m on the right medication that has put me back on track. I guess life being good puts me in a place of fear for the potential alternative.

Kind advice only please - thank you.

Your feelings are perfectly valid op. But be kind to yourself. You did your best in difficult circumstances. Your son has a mummy and daddy who adore him. I think these days theres lots of only children due to everyone having different lives. I dont think he'll miss out. He will be a loving, friendly wee boy who will see his parents having a good relationship and he'll choose that for himself one day.

But theres nothing wrong with having moments of sadness. We all have them eventually.

As an only child i was glad I didn't have siblings as I got to go wherever my parents did. I found my friends' siblings really annoying too and was always thankful I didn't have any.
Even if he is more social than me he will make friends.
Don't be sad for him!