*Changed a few details for privacy
I have a 12 year old daughter who has always done very well at school. She is very smart and loves to read. During downtime in the classroom she prefers to read vs socializing with others. She says that sometimes she'll read by herself and other times 1-2 kids will come over to her table while she's reading.
Ever since she started school at age 5 I have been curious about her social skills. Her teachers have never seemed concerned even when I have asked them to keep an eye on her.
When we attend school activities as a family, none of her peers come up to her. Some of them do wave and say hello to her but for the most part no one comes up to her. Sometimes it feels like she's ignored. There have been times where she tries to walk up to someone and they'll walk off. I do not know if this is because of her social skills or because she is quiet and kind of blends in.
This does not seem to visibly bother my daughter but she can be reserved about her feelings. Sometimes I think it bothers me than it does her.
After school she would rather walk on her own while reading a book while everyone is walking with others.
Year after year, she says everyone at school is kind to her. It is hard to see that none of peers will come up to her at school activities and sometimes she ends up doing things on her own at things such as school dances. She'll dance on her own while everyone else's off in their own little groups. She never complains about it and will always talk about how much fun she had.
She does not get invited to playdates in the neighborhood. She has not had a sleepover and I know her peers have sleepovers with each other.
However, she does get invited to about 5-6 birthday parties throughout the year (these are not all-class invitations and she's usually one of 6-8 kids invited). These invitations are among different groups of peers.
When I ask her if she interacts with anyone at school, she will consistently name the same 5-6 kids. One happens to be in a different grade and is 2 years younger than her.
She participates in several after school activities. It's the same thing.
I struggle with figuring out if this is just her being an introvert and if she truly is happy with being on her own for the most part. Or if she's lacking some social skills? When I ask her school teachers and school counselors-they say she's doing fine socially. But I see a different picture outside of school hours and from a distance it looks like she's all alone while everyone else are in their own little groups. I worry about why no one comes up to her and why no one asks her for a playdate.
I do know that some of the Mothers are good friends with each other and while they all live in our neighborhood, several of them live on the same block. We do not live on the same block as any of her peers.
It's possible I'm 100% overthinking this and need to stop worrying.