Any close older brother / younger sister relationships? Need some hope!

[VeryFondOfWalking]

I’m hoping some kind mumsnetters out there have some nice stories of older brother - younger sister relationships to help ease my mind?

I have a wonderful 3 year old son. He’s sweet and gentle and caring and I know would make a fabulous big brother. But as my partner and I think about trying for a second, I am suddenly finding myself worried about having a girl. Don’t get me wrong, I think having a daughter would be lovely. But I worry if we did, they wouldn’t be close as siblings. I know it’s all a big ‘if’ at this stage, but I never experienced a preference for a gender or gender disappointment, so it’s taken me by surprise.

I know so much of this is coloured by my personal experiences. My relationship with my older brother is okay, but distant and strained. He was very unpleasant when we were younger. Looking at my wider family and friends, I realised I don’t know a single older brother / younger sister who get on well or are close. Sisters yes, brothers yes, a few older sisters with younger brothers, but not one the other way around.

I know siblings don’t have to be the best of friends or live in each others pockets. We can’t control what personalities we bring into this world. And realistically we’re looking at at least a 4 year age gap anyway. But I would hate to bring distance and friction into our happy family.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has some lovely, happy things to say about this sibling dynamic, either their own or their children’s to help give my head a wobble?

My son is 4.5 and my daughter is 1.5, and they're inseparable. Absolutely adore each other.

I have three sisters and haven't seen any of them since I was 12, or heard from any of them since I was 16.

You just never know. All you can do is try to create a good relationship while they are young, help teach them how to nurture it as they grow, and hope for the best.

I have a 3 year gap between my 2. Until they were about 10 and 7, they were wonderful. My son was really protective and they were really cute together, played together etc. It went a bit downhill when son went to high school and suddenly considered himself a teenager and I noticed a definite increase in arguing and him not tolerating her like he used to. The gap felt huge when he was about 13 and her 10, like there was about 5 years between them not 3. But things seem to have shifted recently. She’s 11 now and he’s 14 and I’m not sure if it’s because she’s caught up a bit maturity wise or what but they’re arguing much less and although they don’t do stuff together because they each have their own friends and interests, they got on really well on our recent family holiday and seem to enjoy each others company more. I think siblings of any gender and age will have bouts of getting along and arguing. I also think a lot of it is personality, not age and gender.

Well I can’t speak to the future but my 4.5 year old boy and 3 year old girl are the very best of friends I think they would be if the gap was bigger too.

Well, I’ve lots of siblings (all full siblings) and I’m closest to my eldest brother, 5 years older than me. We see each other often, our children are incredibly close and it’s a relationship that means an awful lot to me. I’m very low to no contact with my sisters, not through lack of trying, but am close to my younger brothers.
Im mum to a 5 year old boy and a 1 year old girl and they just adore each other. They’re inseparable and, for now, rarely clash. Hope it lasts 😅

My little grandson is 14 months and his new sister 11weeks. When she’s crying he gives her her dummy.

I have a boy and girl, exactly three years between them and they have always been close, don’t get me wrong they do have squabbles and annoy each other but they are very loving and kind to each other, they are older now (23 & 20) but still chat with each other and text each other, I really adore their relationship.

My experience has always been that older brother and younger sister is the mixed gender sibling relationship that works best. Not necessarily that they’re super close, but avoiding the drama that I’ve seen where the ages are switched.

I’m sure they exist, but I don’t actually know any sibling pairs where the sister is older than the brother where they liked each other in childhood!

Mine are 25 & 22 and so close. They now live 5 hours apart but message and FaceTime every week and spend lots of time together visiting 😊

I had an older boy and younger girl, not quite 2 years between them. They do have their squabbles, but on the whole they adore each other. I love watching them play together and feel extremely lucky.

My DD was born just as DS stated school so 4.5 year age gap. No problems at all! DS took on the role of big brother and DS adored him. The odd sibling fall out during car journeys etc 🙈 but no real issues. It was a good age gap I think. They’re adults now and still get on really well though DD is now the boss 😂

I have 3 siblings. My closest relationship is with my brother 6 years older than me. My sister 3 (years younger) have nothing much to say to each other.

My brother is 2 years older than me and we've always been really good friends (did fight a lot too, but that didn't mean we weren't friends), he even recently moved abroad to where I am and we're right back to being the best of friends.

These are all so nice to read, thank you!

My son and daughter are 25 and 22. They have always been really close and still are. I love hearing them chatting and laughing together. They are my favourite people.