Do some parents really avoid parks and playgrounds with young children?

[MintyElephant]

Just a curious on this - I was at a family gathering on my husbands side. One of his cousins has 2 young children (we have 2 also) we were at a restaurant that had a play area outside and my children were on it, one of hers was on the climbing frame, we were chatting for a bit then she said ‘god I hate climbing frames, I hate parks, I never take my boys, they would just get dirty and climb like this, I’m going to get him off in a bit’
I didn’t have time to answer her or react as she then just changed the subject and started talking about something else.

I have never met a parent who’s said they ‘don’t like parks’ and don’t take their children to them.

We are playground lovers, as are our children, always at our local one.

just curious, any other parents who also don’t like them and so simply don’t take their children? What is it you don’t like? I honestly think she is being a bit selfish just because she doesn’t like them doesn’t mean her sons wouldn’t. What child doesn’t love a playground?

Hate them. I'd far rather be doing other, more enjoyable things, and so that's what we do. Zoos, museums, walks, the like.

I found them hard work due to the other parents. I work long hrs and massively valued the time I had to be out and about with DC playing and a lot of parents won't accept you would rather chat to your 3/4 year old than listen to them prattle on about the price of groceries. We tended to head off and out to the country more so we could get time to play together.

@CheeseWisely- a fellow mum once said to me ‘boys are like dogs, they need to be exercised’. DS is 22 now and it’s still true 😂 he needs to blow off steam doing some physical activity!!

The DCs and I went to so many of London's playgrounds when they were small that I became something of a connoisseur. The Diana playground in Kensington gardens was the gold standard.

Spending time there was quite boring - the DCs wouldn't often play independently - but there were ways to make it better. I used to make up rhymes, games and stories, more for myself for them. Or I'd invent crazy backstories for people I saw (not out loud). I'd try to remember old song lyrics while pushing the swing.

I think there is a difference between a London park and a little playground on a standard housing estate which is what I envision when someone mentions ‘the park!’

But it is interesting how many prefer the park to soft play, I am an anomaly here because I don’t like the park much but I don’t mind soft play particularly.

Mine are all grown up now, but we also didn't spend much time at parks/play areas - often too busy, older kids monopolising equipment, DS2 (neurodiverse) found them too busy/ overstimulating and they were often full of dog poo and rubbish.
We were much more likely to go for walks in the woods, climb trees, use rope swings etc etc.
Always hated the play areas attached to McD's and pubs etc - they WERE filthy!

I think that’s very unusual.

I am happy to go to the park as long as it isn't overcrowded. That is a 'me issue', not a park issue and no shade on other park users.
I'm finding it easier now DD is 3½ and a little more able to handle herself, but when she was a tiny toddler I felt more like a security guard than a parent. Other (bigger) kids charging about, scooters and bikes, dogs off lead - none of it was any good for my PPD linked anxiety.

Indoor play areas (like the ones at McDonalds) are still an absolute no go. They're grubby, I can't see what is happening in there, there is near constant screaming, and there is something about is something about those spaces that just sends kids into Lord of The Flies mode!

I quite like them but there have been various phases when we've deliberately avoided them. For example:

• Small DS big enough to want to climb up the big slide on his own (too high for me to reach the top) but small enough to fall through the gaps between the rungs.
• Other DS loving the swings so much that he would insist on only being pushed on it for half an hour, then have a tantrum longer than half an hour all the way home and for ages afterwards.
• Two DCs at incompatible ages where small one needed constant watching (or pushing on swing, see above) but big one needed lots of attention and help on the climbing frame and it wasn't possible to do both.

In all cases, the amount of tears and frustration totally outweighed the total amount of fun anyone would be having.

37 and still go on the swings also. Love a tyre swing aswell

I mean I don’t go for myself. I go for my kids because they enjoy it! And because it’s free, it’s exercise outside and quite often it’s socialising too with other kids.

It definitely improves once they’re older and you don’t have to follow them around constantly.

We went to outside parks but i avoided indoor play spaces like the plague, full of bullies yelling and parents not supervising adequately.

We met up with a friend years ago that lived at a distance from us, both our boys were around 8 at the time. There was a huge fallen tree and DS was scrambling all over it and she didn’t want her DS to, he was a bit bigger. Insisted on holding his hand. He has grown up as a very anxious adult.

@Lentilcakes. Was it me, one of my favourite nuggets of advice. Exercise your kids for an easier life

I would love not to avoid them. My children love them. I couldn’t care less if they get dirty. But it’s incredibly difficult for us due to the nature of one of my children’s needs. If I have another adult with me then great, but this doesn’t happen often sadly. So yes most of the time, my own with all my children, I do avoid them.

I do actually hate soft plays - perhaps unfairly. I’m holding a HFM incident and an awful sickness bug against them all. But I endure it where necessary for the sake of the children - but again I can’t go with all my children without another adult.

I think lots of people who know us wouldn’t realise the reasons that I can’t take them without another adult so probably judge me for not doing so.

I do take my children to the park, but how much I enjoy it definitely depends on the season.
In summer I love it. I’ll take a book, chat to other mums, meet friends there for playdates, take a picnic etc. We can happily spend ages there.
Winter though? Absolutely hate it. Sitting on a bench freezing while the kids run around is not my idea of fun! They might get a quick 10-minute play on the way home from school, but otherwise I’ll actively look for something indoors to do instead.

I lived in playgrounds with DC when they were small. We had a few locally and could go on a big walk, or a small walk and it was excerise and free. We often had them to ourselves as it seems everyone else shared the hate!

People like different things. Some people like the outdoors, many don't.

I've made many mom friends at the playground though!

I know a lot of kids banned from sandpits because the parents think they are dirty (animals poop in them). I mean, they're not wrong...

We have some brilliant wooden play equipment in our garden and the kids just don’t really engage with it at all. Or the big trampoline or numerous garden toys. I don’t know whether it’s because it’s just always there!

The massive local play park is a daily event at ours.

We are (nearly) always the only people there (apart from once)

... lucky really, because my toddler's new game is to race Mummy up the mini climbing wall then push her down the slide

I’ve never known any parent who doesn’t take their kids to parks.

its part of childhood .

I have never met any parents who don't take their kids to the park.

My 5yo goes at least once a week. She's at an age now where she's happy to go off, make a friend and play most of the time. I bring a coffee and enjoy some peace. We often meet friends there.

We have a small one local to our house and we play imaginary games together there. I don't love it but my daughter does and it's good for her.

My parents were like that. I don't think I ever went to a playground with them. I had an uncle who used to take me sometimes.

They genuinely gate them. They hate the noise, other children, having to watch closely and they REALLY hate dirt and getting dirty. I used to get such an earful for slightly dirty trousers or whatever.

We didn't even live in a house with a garden, we were in a flat. I basically spent my childhood indoors.

I have a DS aged 2 now and they adore him. They take him to the park sometimes but it pains them. They try so hard to entertain him at home, they only go if they have no other option and then they complain about it for weeks.

I became a VERY outdoorsy person as an adult.

I didn’t really like going to the playground/ park when DD was little, but took her as she enjoyed it and it got us out of the house. It was easier when she got older abd didn’t need as much supervision. There was a playground near school where a lot of parents and children would go after school, and the kids would keep themselves entertained while the parents could chat.

I remember when playgrounds opened after a couple of months of lockdown. DD was five, and it had been so hard explaining to her that we could walk in the park, but couldn’t go on the play equipment, and we didn’t have a big enough garden for any play equipment . She was overjoyed when they reopened - she spent about twenty minutes on the climbing frame , climbing up and going down the side over and over. I used to remind myself of that when I was miserable and cold in a rainy playground!

Cycling - we would go on a bike ride rather than to a playground.
Skateboarding is not something mine have ever been into.
Canoeing - not sure if I'm missing something but there's not much in the way of canoe places in the suburban parks where we live. If they wanted to try canoeing I'd jump at the chance for a day out!

We do have plenty of days out and will go to the beach, forest, kids farms etc. Just never spent much time at playgrounds.