Struggling with my 23mo refusing meals, throwing food and wanting only fruit

[Endofmytether2026]

I am so very frustrated with mealtimes and my 23 month old.

If he sees fruit first, it’s all he will want.

If he doesn’t want something, he’ll throw it, or the spoon, on the floor.

He turns up his nose at most things. Even things he’s liked in the past.

He’ll take one mouthful then decide he doesn’t want any more.

If all I gave him was fruit and Greek yoghurt he’d be happy.

Mealtimes are a cycle of me making and offering different things and him just refusing them. I’m worn out. And the meals are taking forever.

He’s also now refusing water! (is still breastfed)

I am SO FED UP of the throwing!!!

Arreghhhgg

I should add that we have tried to do everything that we were meant to do. We weaned him on a varied diet. To be fair he is often a fan of my slow cooked meals in the evenings. Beef/bean chilli, chicken korma, tomato meatballs etc.

It’s the lunches (and snacks? If we’re meant to be doing those) that are doing my head in. Doesn’t want peanut butter on toast. Doesn’t want potato and cheesy beans. Doesn’t want cucumber sticks or chopped tomato. Doesn’t want pancake. Everything refused. He used to eat all these! Everything on the floor.

I’m so tired of it.

It passes. My twins drive me mad with this. I remember mats under their high chairs, but they threw stuff when we were out too. I think it’s a schema called Casting. One threw a jar of jam out of the trolly in Tesco and it exploded, and we had to leave. Awful.

Well of course he only wants yoghurt and fruit, that’s basically dessert all day.

Just be consistent with what you give him, consistent mealtimes one small snack between breakfast and lunch and lunch and dinner, make sure his appetite is maintained for meals.
If he doesn’t eat it don’t offer substitutes, he will know if he’s hungry enough and then he will eat it. Toddler appetites wax and wane but also they are very good at holding out for sweet fruit and packaged snacks if they know it comes instead of meals.

Is yoghurt and fruit that bad? It's got most nutrients. I don't get the point of forcing kids (or adults) to eat things they don't want.

Because children need a balanced diet to grow and develop appropriately, only feeding them two things would mean they were severely lacking in many nutrients and vitamins. They would likely be anaemic, fatigued, have low immune systems, be at risk of developing things like rickets plus tooth decay from an overly sweet diet.

Offer no alternatives to the meal you are providing. Take the food away if he throws it
A few hungry afternoons should sort it. He won’t do this at nursery

You still WANT to breastfeed, or do you feel forced to because he won't eat/drink?

I’m very much in favour of extended breastfeeding so it isn’t a critical comment but some children will fill up with milk (cows milk or breast milk.) I had to wean DD as she was barely eating but having so much milk!

Yoghurt and fruit is great, and if he's also eating varied suppers that's great. Keep trying but don't stress - you're in charge of what you offer him, he's in charge of how much he eats. Have you tried fruit and yogurt first and other stuff later?

Mine did do the food refusal in nursery too. They are now grown and eat well - they still will refuse some of the things they used to. Raw tomatoes for one!

OP Lots of toddlers stop eating things they ate as babies. Don’t stop offering, but know that it will happen. Would it help you to go to your health visitor to reassure yourself that he is growing?

Your son eats your home cooked food. Can he not eat another portion at lunch and keep the yogurt for breakfast. Or put sweet peppers or cucumber with the yogurt just to ring the changes.

I think you should tackle either the throwing OR the fussy eating. Maybe once you are less stressed about the eating your child will not be so interested in annoying you by chucking your carefully prepared food onto the floor.

If he will eat your normal dinners, you mentioned chilli, meatballs etc, just make extra and save it for him. Who cares if he eats chili for all his snacks? Home made and delicious, very nutritious.

Blahblahblah I only ate cake for most of my childhood and I'm genuinely among the slimmest and healthiest adults I know

I might drop down dead tomorrow I suppose but not sure of what

Yoghurt and fruit seems fine

Honestly thank the Lord I didn't have a BUT WHAT ABOUT THE RULES upbringing

Thank the lord I don’t neglect my children and only feed them cake for their childhood.

Yoghurt and fruit is completely fine. It’s not “basically dessert all day”! I wouldn’t stress over that.

Ok but you're a control freak making misery for yourself and them

You really are most unpleasant and I’ve noticed it across a multitude of threads now.

Sounds like you’re doing fine @Endofmytether2026 . And well done on the breastfeeding, it’s no mean feat.

Thanks so much all. We don’t offer ‘packaged’ snacks with the exception of breadsticks and cheese twists..! But none of those wafers or baby Wotsits etc!

It might well be that we simply use dinner leftover for lunches although that’s not always very practical. He’s even gone off cheese sandwiches.

And it’s a good point that maybe he’s having more breastmilk over summer as he hasn’t really been in nursery for the past month or so. So it might change again once term starts.

Cheese sandwiches are often unappealing for toddlers, left overs sound ok, what about pasta or egg?

I would dip cheese sandwich in egg and fry them in olive oil. Present in fingers one at a time. Mm I’m doing that for my similar aged grandchildren when I restart childcare next month

If he'll eat yoghurt will he have a smoothie? Mine went through this phase so we started making smoothies but would add spinach, oats/milled flaxseed, peanut butter etc so that he was getting more than just dairy and fruit.

He then went back to eating proper food (though still chucks it everywhere, thank god for the dog who does most of the cleanup)

I don’t think feeding a child more than cake or fruit and yoghurt and fruit makes you anything like a control freak. What a weird and low bar.

So allow yoghurt and fruit for breakfast and give 2 hot meals a day.

Batch cook the slow cooked meals and freeze.

Don’t worry about veg sticks if he’s eating fruit but I’d still offer a small amount with the fruit and he may start to eat it again.

Children's appetites go up and down as they grow and adjust the amount they move. The above poster is right that throwing is a schema.

You just need to ignore the throwing and allow him time to learn that if you throw something it’s gone.

It’s great you’re still BF but remember that this is still filling as a good even for a toddler.

The weather has cooled dramatically so with regards water he probably doesn’t feel as thirsty and he’s getting liquid though the fruit and BM.

It's all perfectly normal, just annoying if you are the parent. Feom an evolutionary point of view, becoming mobile and stopping putting everything in your mouth is a good idea, so you don't get poisoned. It rarely lasts for that long.

In the meantime, hide the fruit! One of mine was so obsessed with banana that we had to call them "the b word" and keep them in a different cupboard each day. It's a lot more out of sight, out of mind at that age.

All very normal. There’s some good advice on here but I’d add that you need to chill a little too. A toddler who knows their behaviour stresses you out will keep it up simply because it stresses you out. Easier said than done I know but you need to be as nonchalant as you can with these little humans.