Has anyone become anxious about travelling after having children?

[starrynight009]

I have always loved travelling. I spent most of my 20s saving up to go to exciting places on holiday, and then got a job in my 30s where I got paid to travel. It was my thing.

Then I had my daughter at 38 and, bam, suddenly I became really anxious about travelling.

DD is now 7 and it hasn't really gone away. I'm taking her to London for three days soon on my own and I'm even worrying about that! 😂

We've been to France and Greece with her, with my partner, and he'd like us to be a bit more adventurous with our holidays. But I find myself worrying that something will happen. All the usual travel dramas that wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest when I was child-free now seem to feel like a massive deal.

It's frustrating because I want to show her the world. I don't want my anxiety to stop us having adventures.

Has anyone else experienced this after having children? Did you eventually get your confidence back?

I don't have anxiety and my DS is only 2 but I will say holidays are now just a massive fucking ballache. I used to love travelling.

We've done FOUR 13 hour flights with him (to see family) and one European holiday and every single journey has left me drained. I have now said NO to all travel for the next 12 months. And I know that when he's 3 it will still be difficult but I just need a break. Fuck travelling with small kids.

And yes, it's absolute hell when something goes wrong. On one of our long haul flights, BA announced as we were boarding that they had no food or snacks as something had gone wrong with their systems. A 2 hour flight delay is a nightmare. Add in some teething and zero sleep? FML. No thanks.

And I can totally see how things can get easier by the time he is 7 but that actually you still have tons to worry about.

Sorry, just commiserating. Nothing helpful to add 😂

Yes, I am highly anxious and have not been able to resolve it. Before kids I’d holiday, travel about etc and I’d feel excited over it.

Post kids and I felt I couldn’t keep them safe - it’s the travelling bit in particular. Motorways and the standard of driving on them are places I actively avoid after seeing the aftermath of a fatal RTA on a motorway. The by product of this was needing the loo (IBS) and it morphed into not being able to travel even on trains. I have places I can travel to about 30mins away along roads where I know loos or can turn around if stuck in traffic.
I’ve tried different meds and different types of therapy.
My kids are now young adults. I still can’t travel. I wish teleportation existed as I’d love to visit other places!
(Funnily enough I’d have no problem with motorways if there was no one else on them so it’s not distance - it’s purely other people’s driving.)

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone and feel very ashamed of it.

I could have written this too. I used to love travelling but I have found holidays much harder work than just being at home since having children. I think I have got a bit of anxiety too and wouldn’t even consider bringing young kids to a lot of places I have travelled in the past due to a range of factors (dangerous transport, too hot and humid, lack of medical care, risk of food poisoning etc)

I think it is natural to worry more - and I agree "difficult delays / situations" are made a lot worse when you have children with you. In reality. they are tons more accepting and hardy than you would think. They don't have the same mental stress as you do, so just accept what is going on, have a kip, play a game etc.. I've got 5, and we have always travelled a few times abroad every year - don't get me wrong, we are not some extreme warrior family that hikes through the Himalayas - everything we have ever done has been fairly tame. and on some occasions where it has gone a bit wrong (and it has from stranded in the Ash Cloud situation for a week, to an Airbnb with no water, the kid's shoes getting nicked when they went ski-ing (probably our lowest point!), 8 hour flight delay etc.), they, perversely, have loved it, treating it as some sort of adventure, and a story to tell later. It was definitely worse on us as adults. I would add though, for those startling tales, we probably enjoyed at least 30 holidays where there was not a single hitch. The things that have helped us are 1) don't go too far, too weird or too budget - places with good travel connections, 24 hour reception, uber back up, short flights, short transfers. roaming (or esim) 2) Theme Parks (and I agree, not the vibe I would have wanted but kids loved them, always had a good time) 3) "Delay back up stuff" - small things like cereal bars they liked, small blanket, games - wheeled out when the chips were down helped. 4) Go the same place twice if you liked it enough. 5) Pay the money - sit together on a flight etc. Obviously anxiousness is a thing, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes, but I would do it in small steps - you don't have to go far to have a lovely experience. xx

Definitely not anxious travelling. Only time I’d say I’ve been anxious, I had to travel to Australia for a conference when dd was 16 months. It was the day after the Malaysian Airlines plane was shot down by Russia. I had colleagues on that plane going to the same event. It was the only time I really felt like something might happen to me and I cried at the airport. But otherwise, I have travelled all over with and without them.

I’d nip this in the bud. Hypnotherapy was really beneficial for me in helping with my fear of flying back in the day. Might be worth giving it a try.