Struggling after surprise third baby and wondering if things improve

[Fruityxx99]

3rd baby has ruined my life.

Sorry to sound dramatic but really struggling at the moment.
Baby is 8months old and was a surprise pregnancy. I’m a lot older now and other children are 14 & 8. Life was already difficult as one of my older children has additional needs. But we had good support and life was manageable.
However baby has changed everything - doesn’t sleep at all and has now become very needy during the day. Support is not as good as previously (as obviously 3rd child and everyone is getting old).
Husband looks like he hates his life more than I do, works very long hours.

I love all my children immensely and would do anything for them but I’m so ashamed of myself for putting myself in this situation, just feel like my own choices have ruined everything and currently can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

anyone else felt like this and come out the other side? Thanks

That sounds really tough. I don’t have any experience of having three, or having a surprise long after you thought your family was complete, but what I would say is don’t underestimate the effect the lack of sleep will be having on your whole outlook. My youngest, now 18 months, was very wakeful during the night from around 4 months to around 15 months when he suddenly just started sleeping though and the difference reliably getting a proper night’s sleep makes is huge. I found it very difficult not knowing exactly when his sleep was going to improve, but I think from a lot of children it does happen all of a sudden and hopefully for you it won’t be too long. Also the neediness tends to come in phases as well, so could well pass soon