Hate and resent cooking at the minute - Mum of two

[Biosblbay]

I have two children, baby girl aged 12 months and an almost 4 year old boy and I am just so tired of doing 3x3 meals a day! I have to make 3 breakfasts, 3 lunches and 3 dinners. My son is autistic and has a very plain, boring diet and doesn’t like much change, then my daughter is a big eater and isn’t fussy at all but she just eats different times to me because of my hectic schedule working full time and being a mum I tend to eat once the kids are sorted and I am ready for the day. Don’t even get me started on the cleaning up after cooking/ prepping each time as well!

But today, more than ever I feel so fed up with it. Does anyone else get like that? Of course I would never not feed my children but right now I’m sat on the sofa just trying to find the energy to do my daughter’s dinner. My son had left over spag bowl from last night, I’ll be eating with my husband around 8pm when he gets home (chicken is in the oven) but I still have 1 more dinner to make and I just can’t be bothered but I have to!

I hope I’m not the only Mum that gets fed up with cooking and the feeling of not wanting to cook at all. Makes me feel guilty that I feel this way sometimes when I chose to have children. I am so exhausted though that I can’t even think right now, I just feel like lying on the sofa doing absolutely nothing 😩 I haven’t gone one day without cooking, I have never been away from the kids so have never had a break from it

• [post edited by MNHQ]

You’re definitely not alone!! I used to find it so relentless and exhausting, especially with particularly fussy kids and I’d end up making multiple different dishes after a full day of work and feel like some kind of slave! It’s got a little bit easier now the kids are a bit less fussy and husband has taken more of the load.

What are you making your DD for her tea? Could you going forward make your and DH dinner earlier so that DD can have some and then reheat it when DH gets home?

I would absolutely hate this too!
I have two kids and a husband (I'm a SAHM so I cook/prep while he's at work) but we all eat the same things at the same time. That's an acceptable amount of cooking. Yours sounds awful!

Do you think it might help to post what you tend to make atm and what your son's needs are, and people could suggest ways to simplify?

Eg I only 'cook' dinner. Breakfast and lunch are assembly only! Maybe there are ideas for cold shove-it-together meals which would work?

I remember one particularly awful Christmas Day when I cooked/hosted for all of DH’s family, multiple different meals for fussy kids, DS refused to eat anything and then had a
total meltdown and said “this is the worst Christmas ever” because I refused to cook him another meal.

And to make it worse… does anyone else also have to clean mess like this every single day? 😂😩😭 I just find it very repetitive and some days I just want to do nothing.

@CoffeeBooksRats I honestly cant get my head around how parents do it, especially the Mums that take on most of the load! I’ve just given in this evening and done my daughter fish fingers, cheese and cucumber and berries, more of a lunch than a dinner. I am just exhausted. School holidays aren’t helping , I have to work 38 hours a week while juggling the two kids.

Stop making a thousand meals. Honestly. You need to work smarter, not harder. I almost never cook different things for the dc (exception being if Dh and I want to have really nice steaks and I don’t want to spend the money to do it for all 4 of us).

When they were babies/young toddlers, they ate leftovers from Dh and I the night before. So I’d make spag bol on Monday and Dh and I would eat that, kids would have the leftover spag bol on Tuesday. The one who doesn’t do weird textures would just eat the pasta. Then Tuesday, roast chicken and chips with salad, dc would have that on Wednesday, one of them might mostly eat chips.

After about 18 months, I didn’t do two sittings at all. Everyone ate at 7pm with snacks in the afternoon to keep them going. Whoever worked late just ate reheated food later or made their own.

Breakfasts and lunches at this time of year especially should be really simple. Toast and an apple, cereal, a banana and yoghurt. You literally just whack it on a plate. Same with lunches - beans on toast in the microwave, scrambled egg and toast, reheated pasta (make extra the night before), sandwiches. For lunch, I’d cater to your SEN child. Simple foods and then extras for everyone else, like baby tomatoes, cucumber sticks, blueberries, apple slices, salad.

So one meal with at least one component everyone will eat, only cook it once, reheat as needed.

Also if you are working FT without childcare, this is why you’re crumbling. It’s not the meals. You need childcare in place for some days. You and your partner need to trade off on looking after the kids other days.

@Coconutter24 I’ve done her a really lazy dinner tonight, fish fingers, cucumber and cheese with raspberries and blueberries. I work from home and I finish at 5 most days so while working I tend to just sort the kids inbetween working so I can get them to bed by 7 and not eat too close to bedtime. I think I need to figure out more of a structure but I easily get distracted by so many things. All over the place to be honest!

You’ll find something that works for you, it is hard trying to juggle everything and then meals to sort on top of that 😫
When I know I’ve got a busy day I love things that can be put in slow cooker and then everyone can take their meal when they’re ready for it.

Oh bless you OP it’s really hard. I have twins and honestly one of the things I just couldn’t get my head round about parenthood is that you have to feed these creatures 3 times a day. Once they were on solids this came as a real shock to me 😂 I only really learned to cook at this point while on maternity leave!

Do more batch/easy cooking.
A plate with sardines/ spinach/microwave chickpeas/tomatoes/chia seeds takes little time, is healthy and cheap, obviously change foods to suit your family.

One of mine had a dairy and egg allergy so I went through a time of making him a different meal. I gave up after 3 months and decided the whole househole would go dairy and egg free and make the exact same meal for everyone and always made enough for 2 dinners. I have a rota of spag bol, stews, curries, soups. Non-allergic people can add cheese as they wish.

Did my DH and DS moan about this boring rota? Yes. Do I care? No.

Fuck cooking every day.

My mother certainly didn't have a different gourmet meal for us every day, we survived. I find it more important to have quality, homemade food, than exciting food.

I do it through batch cooking.

I also have a ds with autism who eats a good variety of meals but it’s very repetitive!

I make a vat slow cooker of bolognaise and put with pasta in individual microwave pots and freeze. Also do curry and tomato meatballs.

you can do the same with your toddlers meals. Freeze left overs in individual portions.

For you and DH I’d have a look at slow cooker meals and just prepare and cook throughout the day. Again - freeze leftovers in portions.

there is only ds and I and I do 1 slow cooked batch meal a week for him and there’s enough in the freezer to alternate the meals. (You will need to dedicate a day to get started with different meals in there to start a rotation of prepping)

O then make slow cooked meals for me but they are always 4-6 people meals so again I only need to do it once or twice a week.

Yes - we eat everything heated up but it's all cooked from scratch.

Necessary because we are out of the house 4.30am until 7.30pm most days and he’s also physically disabled so needs support with other things.

But yes as well. Having toddlers and working is relentless. The trick is finding ways to make it less so!

Sorry @Pistachiocakebut not one of those elements would go down well in this house! With the best will in the world. Maybe the tomatoes🥴