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Lost my own identity within busy motherhood

1 reply

ThatWildHedgehog · 06/08/2026 14:15

I know I’m at risk of coming under some criticism but I’m feeling really vulnerable at the moment so would appreciate people going easy on me.
I have two children - a 1 Yr old and an 8 Yr old- i love them loads, they are happy, smiley & socialable, 8 year old is doing well at school and generally great but I’m struggling to find enjoyment in being a Mum.
I am happily married DH is a brilliant dad, we have a nice life, i work part time. Husband works full time.

But I feel I should enjoy being a Mum, I find it every day hard, my eldest is in the answering back phase & not listening etc which I think is a huge factor in this and I’m not sure what to do? I just feel useless and rubbish as a mum, its the summertime & ive chosen to stay inside with my 1 Yr old because my eldest is out playing with her friends, but I feel like im letting him down by staying inside all day 🙈 ... their age gap is difficult at the moment because its hard to find something that entertains both of them.

im exhausted aswell from a busy week work wise, I just feel like my days off from work are never ever a day off, im always doing something or something needs to be done, ie housework, or an errand. I just feel like im struggling. And I feel guilty for not being the fun happy mum they deserve.

Am I alone in feeling like this?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Devilsmommy · 06/08/2026 18:24

No you're not. I've got an almost 4yo who is awaiting assessment and he can be such hard work that I feel stressed and on edge most of the time. Taking him out seems so hard because he's a runner so I'm constantly on edge waiting for something bad to happen so I prefer just staying in the garden instead. It must be so awkward with such a big age gap. No advice, just wanted you to know that you aren't alone

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