Hi,
I am a mum of four living in Germany. My eldest is already 18, then I have 3 boys aged 5, 3 and 9 months. I have been a SAHM here for the past 5 years. It took me some years to realize that this is just not for me. When I was pregnant with my 3-year old, I applied for and got a remote job offer (something related to customer experience). At the time I was very conflicted, as I had no clue how I was going to manage with the baby and a job. I will add that we live in the countryside, have zero family support (I am a foreigner, and my MIL is not really involved with us), and childcare is often in short supply here. So anyway, I turned that job down.
Fast forward to today. Being a SAHM is driving me bonkers. It's not just the lack of a second income (which is very hard as we need to move to a bigger place but are priced out of the market, even in the countryside), it's the fact that I find every day at home all day every day totally tedious. I mean to the point that I have no joy getting up in the morning. I have felt like this for many years, so this is not a phase.
Anyway, what is pretty sure is that my 9-month old will start German nursery/kindergarten when he's 18-months old (so next summer). However, I can't do another 9 months of this, so I'll be sending out job applications soon and hoping that I can at least work part-time from home. In the happy event that I'm hired somewhere, I would have a childcare gap. My plan was to either find a childminder (this might take several months) or get a baby-sitter than comes to us. Using childminders here is very common for children from 1 year, and I think him being a few months younger would be OK. However, my other boys started out at childminders and I am not a huge fan, tbh. For one, the childminders always offered breakfast and lunch and I wasn't thrilled with it (white sandwhich bread, chocolate biscuits before my children were introduced to that at home, etc.) Also, I don't want him getting scratched/hit by the older children because, frankly, he has to put up with a lot from his toddler brothers.
However, I have no experience with someone coming to my house and looking after the baby there while I work. I myself used to be a nanny and did once work for a SAHM, and yes, it was a bit awkward. So I imagine it would be awkward for me. And then I also have this fear, which I know sounds ridiculous, that the babysitter would be bored out of her mind pacing around with a whiney baby for several hours every day. All my children just want to be lugged around and that's pretty much what I spend my days doing. I can just imagine myself saying to the person, "maybe you could take him out for a walk in the pushchair...again?"
Of course, I don't plan on looking after a babysitters should. I would need to lock myself away in the bedroom to work. But it's a small flat so I would hear the baby.
What do you think? Does anyone have experience with this sort of situation?