2 week old will only sleep on me, is this normal and what can I do?

[Macey2025]

I have a 2 week old, just lately he seems to only settle and sleep on me, which means I’m barely sleeping. He settles in crib for dad but is like Velcro on me. I’m just wondering if anybody has any tips on how I can set him down without him crying. I’m waiting for a swaddle I’ve ordered and hoping it will make some difference but I’m just wondering if anybody experiences/experienced the same thing.

I also think that sometimes it can be reflux as he screams sometimes after a feed when I set him down, to which, any tips on settling reflux are also welcome🥹

Yes this is very normal. If dad can get him in the crib, why isn’t dad doing that so you can get some rest?

Thankyou. & dad does help, we have a little routine and it works for us, so we can both get a few hours rest, it just seems that every time I put him down he kicks up a stinker🤣so when I hold and comfort him “sleep when baby sleeps” goes out the window🤣

Yes very normal, my dd didn’t sleep in her crib until she was 12 weeks. We slept in shifts, and also bottled which helped a bit with sleep.

Very normal. We are probably the only mammals who insist on having our babies sleep separately from us. Instinctively he wants to sleep with you for warmth and safety.

Yes, so I do the night shift and he does the day shift, I’m dreading him going back to work😭but Thankyou, this is reassuring. We are currently bottle feeding as unfortunately breast feeding didn’t work out💔

Yes this is normal.
It is called the "fourth trimester"

Human babies are born way earlier in their development than almost all other mammals - because our big brains mean that if babies stayed in the womb until a more "normal" (for mammals) stage, the head would be too big.

For at least the first 3 months, the majority of the time baby needs a womb-like environment - being held ot in close contact. There are safe ways to co-sleep. A separate cot isn't a very natural way for any species to put their baby to sleep in. How do you think the earliest only-just-stopped-being-apes human cared for her baby overnight?

If dad can get him to sleep in the crib, I would recommend that dad always puts him down in the crib when it’s time for him to sleep, even if you are doing night feeds. Wake dad just to put baby down if necessary. It’ll feel tough for him now if he’s back at work already, but it’ll be worth it in the long run.

I say this because my baby was a total Velcro baby and we ended up co-sleeping and it was exhausting. The only option for us as dad couldn’t put her down either. He had to rock her round the room while I got a couple of hours sleep. Co-sleeping is lovely too, but I would have preferred more sleep in retrospect. I type this with a 3.5 year old currently snuggled into the back of my neck 😭

Completely normal. Can go on until 3,4,5…. and beyond!

Thankyou all for you input, it’s very insightful and reassuring as a first time mom who thought she had it sussed until about day 3 and then started doubting her every move🤣❣️

Feel for you, OP. It is a tough stage and until you live it, friends and family can only tell you about it and you nod along and say of course but you don't truly understand the stress of it until you're in the thick of it!

Love2Dream arms up swaddle sleeping bag thingies were our saviour and a snuz pod/next to me crib. I would cuddle baby to sleep then transfer them, keeping my hand on baby securely for at least 5 mins then gradually withdraw. Remember as well that you are warm to cuddle, so getting the right temp balance for baby to sleep alone is tricky!

Until your swaddles arrive, have a look at co-sleeping and bedsharing There is info on Lullaby Trustwww.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/safer-sleep-information/co-sleeping/ It isn't for everyone but for me, DH went back to work and abroad within a couple of weeks leaving me with 2 under 2 (1 being a newborn) and it was the only way I got any sleep.

Good luck and congratulations!

This was the biggest shock for me anf I fought it all the way with my first.

Box sets, settee. Rest, feed,rest rest.

As much as possible, your partner and anyone else available pull together for those first 6 weeks.

Good luck. And whatever anyone says it defines gets easier, hang in there

@SowWhatNowThankyou so much! This is really helpful! Yes, I have a Tommee Tippe Geo Egg which is current reading 23° even with windows open (joys of a new build) so the temperate situation is a tricky one at the minute and reluctant to even swaddle when it arrives.

I’ve had to result to co-sleeping, as that’s the only way I can get some rest but not properly rested as you’re never truly asleep with a tiny dot curled besides you😭🥹

& Thankyou! Such a magical yet terrifying journey🤣💗

@AutumnAllTheWaythankyou!! I have many on my watch list, yet to have time time to start one🤣💗

I think I posted the same thing oh about 22 years ago, DD1 would only sleep on me hated her crib, we ended up cosleeping and she went into her own bed and room at 16 months just before DD2 was born. I have 4 DC and have coslept with them all, they were all good sleepers, went into their own rooms find and they are now big teenage lumps who don’t still sleep with me.

My advice would be to whatever you need to survive these first months. Try not to think about what you should be doing, do what’s right for your family. It’s such a short amount of time in their lives.

Of course it’s normal, she was inside your body for 9 months. You have ti plan to cosleep - ideally share a double mattress just you ans baby. Unplanned cosleeping, eg on the sofa, is what js dangerous. And use a carrier in the day if you need to move around. Mine didnt nap independently til well over 12 months, it’s normal

Welcome to the fourth trimester.

This is completely normal. The love2swaddle saved us. And I made a nest in his bed. A midwife at the hospital used a couple of muslins and put the crib sheet over it. Swaddled baby into nest. When putting a sleeping baby down always make sure they go down bum first with you supporting them. It stops the feeling of 'falling' which can wake them and then as pp said hand and very slight pressure on their chest and slowly release.

Other things that helped...
I literally wrapped and wore dcs bees sheet so it would smell like me.
Warm water hot water in the crib (remove before baby goes in -neber leave one in) to warm the bed.
White noise playing on the Alexa or the sound of rain

Good luck and know that this stage will end. Enjoy it while it lasts and however you can. There's nothing like a new born cuddle. At this stage it is what he needs (you will eventually sleep again) to feel safe and secure. He's just had a hell of a journey. Every single time you think you've nailed it as parents something else with crop up, a cold, teeth, or simply baby learning a new skill and naturally night time is the best time to practice.

Get your dh to help as much as possible while he's off work. Even it means he's doing more at night.

Both of mine only slept while being held initially. DH and I slept in shifts for weeks until we started cosleeping. It was the only thing that worked for us and absolutely saved our sanity. Both were in their own rooms from around 6 months and slept really well alone from that point.