13 month old suddenly strongly prefers his dad and I feel rejected

[Soapandglory123]

My 13 month old son clearly prefers his dad. If he leaves the room he will immediately follow but doesn’t do this with me. Constantly wanting to be picked up or cuddle him but he’s only like this with me if his dad isn’t around. If his dad is holding him and I try to pick him up he gets upset. This seems to have developed suddenly and intensely over night. I looked after him for a year and am now full time and his dad works full time too. So we both now spend an equal amount of time with him. It’s so upsetting, the preference is so obvious. I feel worse as people always talk about mummy’s boys :( The only thing I can think is that his dad is more naturally fun to be honest but that doesn’t come naturally to me, I’m just not as silly, and it feels like I’m now trying to be like his dad rather than just be him. In terms of routines like feeding etc we tend to share out feeding and bath time, I always put him to bed. And we both sometimes get alone time with him. So it’s anll pretty even, so can’t be explained by his dad being a novelty. Any advice? It feels like constant rejection

Kids go through stages of preferring different parents. Give it time and you’ll be flavour of the month again!

It's just a phase, don't take it personally. In the first year of baby's life, all they really need is you and they don't really see themselves as a separate being - they're literally part of you. In his second year of life, he will be branching out and forming attachments to other people and dad is usually the first one. Try and see it as a normal part of his development, it generally evens out again over time. Enjoy your time with him when dad's not there and he wants you and try to relax and be silly and have fun with him too!

It’s a phase, it sounds glib but enjoy it while it lasts! I’m currently the chosen one to both of mine and I’d do anything for DH to be favourite for a while 😁

My 14 month old is like this and my eldest was like this too. I think it's important to recognise it's an important part of their development and actually healthy they are showing signs towards other caregivers.

13 month is still a baby, they aren't acting this way out of spite and they will spend their whole childhood having preferences for one parent depending on how they feel. It's important to not take it personally, your baby is still bonded and attached to you but they do have two parents and they should be encouraged and celebrated that they are showing these behaviours with their dad without it needing to cause the mum to feel rejected!