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Parenting

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Concerned about son's anxiety and allegations during contact with father

3 replies

Itsaharddlife · 30/07/2026 00:32

High conflict coparenting situation. We’ve had a court order in place for 4 years. However 6 year old son has been suffering with anxiety around contact for the last 10 months and since January has made several statements about stepmother that are concerning. Such as she makes scary eyes, pulls his hair, pushes him and stabbed his hand with a fork. Recently he said she told him not to tell anyone or she’ll shout. I have previously tried to speak to father about this however he was highly defensive and said son was making excuses not to visit. He did note however that son became frightened at a visit, after his younger sibling hugged him from behind and was inconsolable for a time but father wasn’t sure why. My concern is I’ve asked father to follow court order from here on and he needs to be present for handovers and visits. To clarify he sees son every other Saturday but often leave him with stepmum while he works. I’ve suggested we reorganise contact around his work so he can be present in the hopes it will alleviate some of son’s anxiety. He’s refused and says the allegations are false and fabricated and that he and stepmother have safeguarding concerns due to allegations. Father his informed me, he and stepmum will speak to son at his next visit and ask why he’s made these accusations and explain to him “the consequences of making up false allegations”. Am I wrong to be concerned by this? He is 6 years old and often has trouble expressing himself, I’m worried this will only heighten his anxiety. He cries and begs not to visit his dads house before every visit, I now feel awful that I will be sending him to be interrogated and worry it will stop him confiding in me in the future. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 30/07/2026 04:40

I have no experience what so ever, but this sounds extremely dodgy. Is there a social worker involved? Or anyone at his school who deals with this, safe guarding officer etc. Do not let him be interrogated by the step mum. Worse thing that could happen.

Natsku · 30/07/2026 05:35

I would contact a child protection social worker and ask for advice, explain that your son will be interrogated and warned not to make accusations next time he visits his father and you are worried about the impact this might have on him.

ExplodingSmittens · 30/07/2026 07:33

No experience at all I’m sorry but I think you’re right to be very concerned.

Could you speak to the NSPCC? They may be able to advice you?

Other than that I’d recommend posting on the Relationship Section as there are some MNers in there with experience of abusive Exes.

You could also talk to Rights of Women about sending your DS to your Ex when he is very likely being harmed.

Family law information - Rights of Women

Our family law guides include accessible online information on: domestic abuse, children and the law, family court, legal aid, marriage, divorce, civil partnership, finances, living together, and more.

https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law-information/

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