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Parenting

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Advice for a three-year-old refusing to poo on the toilet

5 replies

N88 · 29/07/2026 16:32

Hi, I'm sorry if this has already been covered but I would appreciate any advice for potty training. My son is just over 3 now and he's amazing with wees, however he will not do a poo on the toilet. He has managed it a couple of times on and off and he was so happy. We all cheered him on and we really thought we turned a corner when he did it twice in one day but then he will not do it again. I've given in to pull ups as I could see how distressed he was and I didn't want him to get anxious and constipated. I told myself I won't keep giving in to the pull ups and I've taken him a few times but he will not do it. He is really bloated and I can tell he needs to go. We have tried bribing him, rewarding him, positive encouragement, the blowing bubbles, singing, books etc etc. I've even told him off 😞. I'm just not sure what to do. I took him to the doctor and she said don't give up, he will get there and prescribed lactulose. I don't know what else to do. He is so aware, the child is ready to give up all his toys and the world to avoid the toilet. He will tell me he's going to be a bad boy and he's not going to do it! Take my toys etc. What am I missing here? Any help would be great. Thank you.

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24Dogcuddler · 29/07/2026 17:13

Have you looked on ERIC website? There will be advice on there.

Try Poo goes to Pooland story on You Tube.

If it’s more sensory he could be worried about splashing or maybe isn’t comfy on the seat? Paper down first or a padded child seat.
Knees up and blowing bubbles will help.

He seems to have the idea that he’s bad or needs to be punished if he can’t do it so you might need to unpick that.

Another idea is to sit on wearing the pull up and gradually make holes in it so that he feels he has the security. Good luck.

urghhh47 · 29/07/2026 17:16

Time. Just give him time. He will do it eventually and the best thing to do is just to allow him to pop where he wants until he's ready. I've seen this a few times having toilet trained 9 children of my own. You can rest assured he won't be 15 and not pooing on the toilet!! Xx

Dreamerinme · 29/07/2026 17:19

As a pp said, watch the Poo Goes To Pooland story on YouTube plus there is also a printed resource for it (it is an NHS story) plus look at the ERIC website who you can also ring for advice.

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AutisticMumOf2 · 29/07/2026 17:33

He may be to constipated to actually go, try the laxatives and keep encouraging. Mine liked to sit on the toilet & watch something that always helped!

N88 · 30/07/2026 00:18

Thanks all for your advice, I'm glad I reached out. I'll keep trying, look at the resources and reduce the pressure as well. I feel for him, he tells me when he needs to go but for some reason, he just freezes and can't let his body relax. Hopefully we will have a breakthrough. I think deep down I desperately needed this to go well as I have another child with health issues and prayed this would be successful..kids for you hey. Always throwing a curveball 🤦🏽‍♀️

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