Nearly three-year-old suddenly distressed at bedtime after previously sleeping well

[ShyLavender]

Hi everyone,
I’m hoping someone has been through something similar because we’re feeling completely lost.
My daughter is 2 years 10 months old and has honestly always been an amazing sleeper. Since we weaned from breastfeeding she’s slept 12–13 hours overnight without any issues. We put her into her cot awake every night and she’s always happily gone to sleep on her own. She’s also always had a daytime nap with no problems.
When she was around a year old we did some very gentle sleep training, which worked brilliantly, and since then we’ve never really had any issues with naps or bedtime.
Then everything changed on Monday night.
She went to bed completely normally but woke up at midnight absolutely screaming. She cried on and off until 5am and nothing seemed to settle her. In the end she only fell asleep because she came into bed with us, which she never normally does.
Since then every nap time and bedtime has become a battle. She’s screaming, crying and begging for mummy. Tonight my husband had to lie next to her until she fell asleep, which is something we haven’t needed to do since she was around a year old.
During the day she’s completely herself. She’s happy, playful, eating and drinking normally, and doesn’t seem unwell at all. It’s just sleep that’s suddenly become a nightmare.
Has anyone experienced this at this age? Could this be separation anxiety? Is it possible she’s suddenly ready to drop her daytime nap even though she’s always napped well? Or could it be something else entirely?
We’re also wondering whether we should go back to the gentle sleep training that worked when she was younger, or whether that’s the wrong approach at this age and this is something we just need to support her through.
I’d really love any advice or reassurance. We’re worried about creating new sleep habits but equally we don’t want to leave her so distressed. Has anyone been through this and, if so, how did you get back to your previously good sleeper?
Thank you so much.

Mine is going through this at 3.5. We think it is down to nightmares and separation anxiety. I confess we've given in and are laying with her til she falls asleep.

We went through this with my daughter. Think it similar separation anxiety and nightmares.

have you considered transitioning to a bed now? Just worry she might climb out of cot now and get hurt

Is she potty trained? Does she wear a nappy at night? It could be that instead of just weeing in her sleep she is now starting to wake up (or partially waking up) because she needs a wee. If this is the case, take her to the toilet when she wakes up in the night.

My DS had a phase of night terrors at this age (these are different from nightmares - have a google and see if it matches her behaviour). They are very distressing for the parents but not remembered by the child.

In terms of the upset when she’s going to sleep then I would stay with her if she needs it., but don’t make it a long term habit. Just casually say you’re going to fetch something, and then come back quickly so she gets used to you going and returning. Gradually increase how long you’re away.. hopefully she’ll get used to dropping off by herself again.

We had a very tricky patch at this age too but it did go back to normal.

Bad dreams. That’s all it is. It’s hard for them to rationalise it and sleep becomes scary. I used to sit with my daughter after we had done the story and discuss what we were going to dream about. It usually involved fairies having a party and each morning I asked about her dream and said “yes, I had the same one, I was there, hiding behind …..” or whatever. From time to time I let her sleep in with me if she was particularly nervous, the phase soon passed and she slept alone fine.

It sounds like a night terror, which is usually triggered by being overtired or unwell or going through something big developmentally. It sounds like it’s all compounding itself after several days of poor sleep. I’d be getting her to sleep in whatever way works. Driving around for an hour every naptime. Bring her to bed with you and lie down with her at bedtime. It will pass eventually, but for now, she just needs to catch up on sleep as do you.

For all invested did the excuse me method last night no tears and was asleep by second visit. Will report back to say if it lasts! Thanks for all your help ladies! X

Glad you had a better night OP 😊 I do appreciate it when people update!