Managing school holidays with a newborn and older children

[hangonwhilstioverthinkthis]

Think I just need talking down a bit.

DH returns to work tomorrow after pat leave. I have a two week old baby, two older primary school children and five weeks of summer holidays to go.

I usually LOVE the holidays, which I think made me a bit complacent. I thought a few trips to the beach, local skate parks, playgrounds, few playdates that sort of thing... we'd be fine! However I had totally forgotten/underestimated:

1. How sore and tender I would still be from the birth at 2 weeks pp
2. Everything about cluster feeding 😅. I've been on my own with the baby today and she's either been latched to me or wailing for pretty much the entire day.
3. Newborns and sun safety/heat - this is my first summer baby and also we've recently moved house to an area seemingly devoid of trees/shade. Means all the outings I had in my head are going to be very hot/sunshine heavy. Fine if she would be in the buggy without screaming but we're not there yet. She's fine in the carrier usually but it's blooming hot for both of us! And hard to keep her all covered from the sun.

Any ideas for surviving without the poor older kids spending most of the summer confined to our house/garden?!

So far I have

• booked a local kids club one day a week (we live in something of a desert for this sort of thing and that's the only one which wouldn't involve a 1.5 hour round trip in the car twice a day)
• booked a few random local events at the library - DH has taken a smattering of AL across the weeks
• squirrelled away a few new activities like a splash pad for the garden, some art supplies, we have a tie dye kit waiting to be used which was a birthday present, that sort of thing.

Ideas from the hive mind very welcome!

How old are they?
I think if ‘older primary’ then im assuming old enough to understand that this summer is slightly different.

Allow free rein of garden, films, playing at home. And I would just do that at least another 2 weeks. Do food delivery with nicer ice creams, maybe order some new garden toys like stomp rockets from amazon.

in 2 weeks time you have a bit more recovery, and it might not be so hot and you can consider some other things from your lists locally.

Get dh to take them
one day each weekend off somewhere more ‘adventurous’. and the second day at weekend maybe you all go somewhere as family like zoo , national trust or somewhere where dh can run after kids and you potter with baby in pram or on bench watching to feed.

I feel you. I have a FOMO, full sleep regression 10 month old and a 5 year old DD at home for the summer.

It is hot here and there also seems to be limited shade around us. Holiday clubs are a desert here too, plus expensive when I'm on MAT leave so I'm pretty much doing all the summer holiday childcare. I've accepted that the baby will have points where she will whinge and whine and be unsettled. She's also going to have to start taking a nap when she needs it and getting used to napping in the pushchair when we are out as otherwise we risk spending a lot of time nap trapped at home.

If it's going to be hot/ sunny make the most of paddling pool/ splash pad and garden for the next week.

As a PP said, use weekends and times when DP is off to do the bigger days out and get DP to do the bulk of the running round with the kids. Maybe try a few short activities to break up the days at home- library/ park/ museum/ woods walk rather than full days out for this next fortnight whilst baby settles a bit. Do you have mum friends? If so days out can be a bit easier with an extra pair of mum friend hands/ eyes and other children to entertain the DC.

They're 7&5. They're being really incredible tbh, they both play well together and independently. They've been really keen to hold the baby (as long as she's not crying or smelly...so around 10% of the time 🤣) I'm super proud of them, and really don't want it to feel like the new baby is 'ruining" the summer fun. We've not had a summer at home before, usually i take them camping and visiting friends and stuff. Plus we've moved to a place where there's less going on than in our old city so lots of components different to previous summers. Feel I've been very naïve with my expectations.

We're usually super strict on screens, so if they were given full free reign of films and things like that they'd probably think it was the best summer ever tbh. I should remember this option, it's not my natural go to 😅 thank you!

Good idea to book family outings on the weekend. Something to look forward to.

Oh man @Icecreamandcoffee sleep regressions are tough!! Sending you strength and hopefully a good night sleep soon. I wonder if we're in a similar location!!!

Have made a few mum friends since moving, but mostly with 7/8 year olds so well out of the newborn stages. I think when baby is a bit more settled (she says hopefully) we'll be able to join people for days out and things but not for the next couple of weeks.

We're lucky to have two playgrounds within 10 minutes walk so that's an easy outing when things are getting fractious. Plus more options in easy driving distance. Nothing with much shade though! The nearest 'woodland walk' is around an hour away 🤦🏼‍♀️ Whereas I'm used to having them right outside my back door with places for kids to climb, BMX tracks, streams to paddle in etc. Hadn't realised how much I took that for granted! We've moved from the city to the countryside, didn't expect to have fewer outdoor options. But it's 90% farmland so it makes sense.

I would definitely allow screen time this summer. A few afternoons when it’s hot of them watching a film whilst you feed baby and rest isn’t going to harm them for life.

Also utilise your dh more workdays also. If he can take them 20mins on scooters for example early before work if kids up early, then at least they get a bit of energy burnt off. Or in evening after dinner, if it’s hot day then a local walk to park or bike ride at 7.30pm is a perfect memory of summer even if not usual.

with a few kids clubs you have booked, plus dh help weekends, they can still have a lovely summer mainly at home or nearby.
Ps maybe set tent up in your garden if it fits.

Sometimes children surprise us by liking things we think they won't. They may love being at home.

Have you a sprinkler in the garden on hot days? Maybe a sandwich making day where they chose the filler from options.

Smoothies making (frozen fruit and yoghurt).

Chalk on the drive day.

Den building day.

Making a scrapbook for the baby.

Good luck 🤞🏻

@HereForFootie oo blooming love a den! Have added that to the list,.and the chalks, thank you!

We have a sprinkler/splash pad but I feel a bit bad about it considering the amount of people under a hosepipe ban rn. We don't have one, but still trying to be careful

@Caspianberg that's reminded me I was searching for a little tent to do a garden camp out. Forgot all about it! Thank you 😁 We've had a bit of screen time in the last two weeks,.but in the morning as DH and I have been up a lot overnight. Think switching it to an afternoon chillout to match when baby witching hour hits is going to be wise. Writing all this down so baby brain can't secret it away 😅

Buy a roll of lining paper, poster paints, to do banner painting - biscuit icing - Facebook to see if you can link to any activities- swimming lessons - seed planting - tented area in the garden, with paddling pool underneath, so you can sit and them splash - retro children's book a day and they could film on a phone their book report - paper machete and building an alien in the garden

If you can afford a babysitter I would book one in to take them out or play with them.

Are you anywhere near an ikea?! Air com so baby can be in carrier, meatballs for lunch, kids go in the free play area for an hour while you sit and feed baby/have a tea, wander round shop together and inevitably buy something random you didn’t know you needed! I have a 6 and 4yo and a 8m old. We did this on one of the heatwave days when the kids were off school in June!

@Luckymummyx3 sadly the nearest one is hours away! Used to have one in walking distance and we were there regularly. You're so right, they're brilliant! Even without utilising smalland, still a v easy way to while away a few hours with children.

Do you have a library you can utilise? They could do the Summer Reading Challenge and often have play tables etc with places for you to sit and feed

OP, this was me 2 years ago except the middle child was 18 months so that added a different dynamic.

Firstly, as a fellow strict-on-screens parent, you will have to let that go. We had soooo much screen time that summer. I tried not to feel guilty about it and we got back on track with no screens once school went back.

Meals were simple air fryer picky things and frozen veg heated up in the microwave. It was fine and everyone survived.

Lots and lots of time in the garden and making it out to the playground was a ‘win’ for that day.

Wearing the baby in a sling. I never used a sling with my other two, but I don’t know how I would have survived without being able to move around, cook etc.

Let the cleaning go and don’t worry about the house looking amazing. That was my DH’s job when he got home from work.

It’s funny, even though it was super intense and at times really hard, I actually look back at that summer with a lot of fondness. Morning (5am! 😂) walks with a coffee while wearing the baby in the sling, the older kids being so cute and helpful getting sipes etc.

I know you’ll manage. It will be hard but you’ll get through it and it will be a distant memory like it is for me now.

Also, I ordered everything on Amazon and let the older kids play with the shipping boxes. I let them colour them, stick stickers all over them, cut holes in them to make a ‘shop’ etc. It was hours of fun and it meant that I didn’t have to leave the house for nappies!

Love this ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for sharing!!

Congratulations! Sounds like you’re doing a great job already!

My third was born just before the last Easter holidays when my older two were almost 2 and almost 4. Obviously I didn’t have the heat to factor in as much, but I just really leant into time chilling together. Baby lived in the sling (muslins soaked in water have helped me as have always used a carrier for all babies). I have to get out every morning to spare me from madness, so we would usually potter to a cafe or a park nearby, then come home for lunch, naps for the younger two and reading or some other downtime with the biggest.

To be honest, the youngest is now 16m (and big ones 3 and 5) and we are mainly doing similar this summer. I don’t really want to be out at a farm or a softplay in the heat so we just do something together in the morning and then fill our afternoons with crafts/Lego/gardening or whatever. I worry that it’s boring but they seem to love it, and I make sure we do some different stuff at the weekends or if I have some grandparents on board!