How to get baby to sleep independently?

[Gerbera55]

My LO is almost 1 and still doesn’t settle for sleep without being cuddled/rocked.

He doesn’t like when we sit down to cuddle him, but it’s impossible to rock him standing up because he’s a big boy - 13kg and very very long.

He’s got a bit better in the sense that for his bedtime sleep, we can rock him to drowsy and then put him down and pat him, whereas before it was rock him until he’s asleep and don’t dare move for 20 minutes.

We’ve definitely made changes, he was fed to sleep for the first 9 months but I just can’t seem to get him to settle independently. If I lie him in his cot, he just plays, then stands up.

Any tips?

If he stands up, does he cry? If not, say goodnight and leave him to it. When they are learning to walk, they always want to practice at bed time 🫠

We still hold our 2 year old to sleep. We have a rocking chair so we sit in it, we're not walking around with a heavy toddler. He sleeps 11 hours through the night and nursery has managed to teach him to sleep independently for naps.

If you don't want a rocking chair or to keep holding him to sleep, then sleep training is the only solution, but that can be very very painful at this age as they are older, can cry for hours and really hurt themselves.

I’d really recommend a floor bed, we switched at 12 months. You can lie with them / cuddle in bed then move away. Mine has slept so much better since we got one. You just have to make sure the room is secure (anchor furniture to the wall Etc). Mine is nearly 2 now, and we still sit with her at bedtime and for her nap - cant see any reason to stop as she sleeps through the night.

He doesn’t cry until I leave the room, then he gets very upset. I never leave him until he’s asleep usually but I had to nip out to get his white noise machine from the charger and he was so upset.

We do have a rocking chair but as I say, he’s so long and I think he actually finds it a little uncomfortable, like he’s squashed up.

This could be where we end up although I think it may be last resort.

They just do eventually when rocking and cuddling stops putting them to sleep. Mine fed to sleep til a bit past 1. Then he wouldn’t fall asleep feeding, so I put him down and sat with him. Then feeding and being put down became the new routine. I still sat in with him for quite awhile because that worked well (and I got a lot of emails done that way!). I’d say 1 is still quite young for settling on their own though. If it’s working, I’d keep doing it. Cuddling to sleep is much easier than 2 hours of back and forth, in and out, with a crying baby.

It's honestly been a gamechanger for us, my daughter is a bigger baby/toddler as well. She also falls asleep far more easily at bedtime since she has fully transitioned to 1 nap, so worth waiting for that in the next 6 months or so

You can look up the chair method - you make fresh sleep associations (stories, singing, cuddles) and gradually reduced/replace rocking. Put baby in cot calm/drowsy and sit with them - you can read, or listen to an audio book; or you can pat them. Let them fall asleep with you there. Then you gradually take the chair further from the bed. It might take a month to work, but it helps your baby fall asleep with gradually more independence. I did this around 10-11 months when mine had separation anxiety. Feeding to sleep stopped working at 6 months for my baby so we HAD to develop different strategies!

It may also help once your baby is big enough to be put to sleep on their tummy. I would say "flip over", baby would roll to stomach and be fast asleep. This was from about 13 months.