Do you let your children quit activities they've asked to do?

[cloudy23]

My daughter begged to start swimming lessons a few months ago. She was so excited at first, but now every week it's a struggle to get her there. She says she's bored and wants to stop.
Part of me thinks she should stick with it because she made the commitment, and I don't want her to think she can just give up whenever something becomes difficult.
The other part of me thinks life's too short to force children into hobbies they no longer enjoy.
How do you handle this? Do you make them finish the term, the year, or let them stop as soon as they've lost interest? Curious to know what others do and whether you've ever regretted either decision.

I would get them to give it another couple of goes, then cut my losses and let them leave.

Yes. They have to finish the amount I’ve paid for if it’s pay in advance, but that’s it. Sometimes you just don’t know if you’re really going to like something unless you’ve had a decent go.

Usually make them continue until a natural stopping point eg end of school year, when they complete a level etc. Sometimes they change their minds as they start to find it easier and get awards etc. However, with swimming I’ve said they can’t stop until they compete stage 7 and I know they are competent swimmers for an emergency situation and for general safety on holidays etc.

Can she already swim? How old is she? Have you paid for the term already? Swimming is more of a basic necessity than the hobby unless she’s already a decent swimmer

They need to finish the part I've paid for, then they can leave. About half the time they want to continue by then, anyway.

Swimming is an essential life skill so I wouldn’t let them quit that. For other things, I think they need to give it a reasonable go and do it for a couple of months at least. Some activities are hard to get to grips with, e.g. playing an instrument, so they really need at least a term to figure out if they may like it or not.

Swimming lessons are not optional for my DCs, but if they were 'bored' I would want to check if the lessons were actually boring. If they're having to do loads of waiting around while the other children have a turn, and not actually doing very much swimming, I'd be looking at changing swimming schools.

It depends.
When one DD wanted to quit a sport a few weeks after starting we did because we coukd see it was not right for her.
When other DD said she wanted to quit a long term hobby, we said to stay to end of term and she soon loved it again.

I used to insist they finish the term - usually had to pay term in advance or quit with 1 term notice.

As you say, there's no point doing an activity if they no longer enjoy it.

But... they do need to realise these activities cost real money, that people running the activities deserve to be paid, so notice needs to be given etc.
Never regretted.

How old is she?
I usually said carry on until the end if the term, then you can stop.
The exception was swimming. They needed to complete at least stage 6/7 or be a better swimmer than me. If she's really hating these classes, find another class and try that. Swimming is a non negotiable life skill in my eyes rather than a fun hobby. Though obviously can be both.

I made mine finish the course we had paid for but checked in before renewing and made it clear that if we signed up again they'd be committed for another term. Can they swim? Because that is a bit of a life skill though dd2's lessons were cancelled due to lockdown and i ended up teaching her myself by just taking her regularly when the pools reopened. She actually improved in between just by growing stronger. Are the lessons boring? With some of them they do a lot of hanging about and not much swimming

Swimming is a non negotiable. At least until they can be safe unsupervised.
Other activities they would have to finish the term/year.

Why did your kid have to beg for swimming lessons in the first place? That’s not really an activity or club, in the same way as dance or football, is. That’s something that you, as a parent, just put your kid into.

She needs to learn to swim. So she stays at it.

I have made them finish a term/have one more go etc but if they really want to quit I think you should let them, life is too short. Also trying something new is good so forcing them to carry on with an activity they don’t enjoy discourages giving things a go.
Swimming is a bit different though, I would want her to carry on until she has reached a minimum level of competence for safety reasons

We never did swimming lessons. We went swimming.

It is a good skill to have, but for us, paying someone else to do something we all enjoy , was not necessary.

Swimming is a non negotiable so mine have to go to swim lessons. Otherwise we'd have a chat about it, what they dislike, what they like and go from there. We try to do a term and see how it goes.

Swimming was non negotiable for quite a few years - until I felt confident letting them play in the pool on holiday. Otherwise they could quit whenever the block was over if they weren’t enjoying it, but had to finish their commitments.

Never. They saw out the term.

Swimming they had to do until the end of primary school. Other stuff, like dance, or whatever they had to complete what I had paid upfront for.

Swimming was a non negotiable to me. Everything else they need to try and get past their wobbles but I wouldn’t insist on them carrying anything on they really hated. If they’ve committed to something like football I would insist they about the season as to not let down their team.

Yes we also finish the term, stage, season etc. With swimming, they could quit once I was satisfied they could swim well enough for safety, which I think was about stage 6.

Mine can only stop at a natural stop point, i.e. end of term.

Swimming I enforced until I was confident in their abilities.

Yes. Once they are signed up they have to go. A lot of life is doing stuff that is difficult or unpleasant or that you do not like. It sounds depressing to put it like that, but a lot of the bitching about young people these days is about lack of resilience and lack of tolerance for anything uncomfortable, which they can't learn if they are never 'made' to.

And swimming is life skill, she will have to learn at some point.

Similar to others, I'd carry on for a bit and then give notice and they go for the notice period. However I'd want them to be able to swim, so I might insist on that depending on swimming levels. We did actually stop DS's swimming for about 18 months as he really hated lessons and wasn't progressing. I then found an alternative swim school and he is doing great.

End of term with the exception of swimming which was compulsory for safety reasons as far as I was concerned.

Difficult one, but I agree that swimming is more of a life skill than a hobby.
How old is she OP? We originally started DS1s swimming lessons when he was 5 and it was far too early for him - we wasted a lot of money on lessons where he didn't progress so they were ultimately pointless and it also put him off swimming for a very long time! We stopped the lessons after about 6 months.
After a while, we started going swimming regularly as a family to ease him back in, which we still do, and then he started doing swimming crash courses at our local leisure centre during the school holidays last year, at the age of 7, and he's smashing through the stages now!

Ask what she finds boring about it. Is it a lot of waiting for others? Is it the changing? Being cold after? Or is it too challenging? And she hasn't developed the right listening skills/muscle groups/co-ordination to enjoy it yet? Just because she stops now, doesn't mean she can't pick it up again later.